N o c t u r n a l

ℕ𝕠𝕧𝕒'𝕤 𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 (1)

When I was little, every night I would fall asleep praying to God. I would pray to wake up in someone else's body or not wake up at all... so when I'd wake up I would cry for a long time, but even those tears withered as the days went by and so did my hope.

No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, it would never please him, but even so, like a persistent and filthy rat, I kept trying. Desperately. Until I lost my colours. My vision turned grey and nothing I'd do mattered anymore. It's not like it would please him anyway.

My mother loved piano and she always told me how her boyfriend would play it for her, well,
When she was admitted in the hospital. If only I knew everything back then. I loved my father and I used to think that we were a perfect family, but that was only until I told my father about my mother kissing someone else. I was young and didn't quite understand the whole concept of kissing so I thought it was normal. When I told my father about it, he hadn't still lost his usual "perfect" demeanour. He just smiled and told me to go back to my room. After that everything was still "perfect" like it should be, that is, until that one night...

I got an A on my class test so I went to my mother's room, the sight I witnesses upon the door is a curse that will eternally be drawn underneath my eyelids. Haunting me forever and ever every time I'll close my eyes. The sight of my mother lifelessly lying in the corner of the room, and my father standing with a belt in his hands. My legs froze, I wanted to go help her but all I could do was see. See that monster's true face. His vicious smile as he beat my lifeless mother.

My mother was soon admitted in the hospital. Unfortunately, no one except me ever got to know what he really is. That's what it's like for the rich. They get away with everything. My mother was still the kindest person ever. She taught me a lot things every time I would go to the hospital. She was kind, even when I betrayed her.

It was a stormy day, my mother had just gotten discharge from the hospital. That's when my father came, with a woman on his side.

"My dear Nova, this here is your new mother. That woman standing next to you is useless now." He said with a smile on his face.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE NOW? I'M TAKING NOVA WITH ME!" my mother shouted.

"Nova, who are you going to choose? That woman who betrayed us and brought shame to our family, or me? Your loving father?" He reached out his hand to me.

I looked at my mother, she was crying and that's probably the last time I saw her. "With you, father. How can I leave you?" I held his hand and never looked back.

"Nova...?" I heard my mother from distance. I loved her voice.

After that I stopped playing the piano. It was something my mother loved and I felt like I didn't deserve to play it anymore. The notes of piano would all sound grey, every time I'd touch the keys I would feel my heart shrinking. Breaking into pieces. I soon became unable to play.
I'm worthless.
I'm miserable.
Im grey.

I miss my mother every day but I'm at ease knowing that she is fine or even happy now, wherever she is.

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