N o c t u r n a l

Ｌｕｎａ'ｓ ｍｅｍｏｒｉｅｓ (1)

My father was an incredible ballet dancer. Whenever he would dance people couldn't take their eyes of him, his charisma was incredible. My mother loved him very dearly, until...

As a kid, I didn't get to spend much time with my father as he was always very busy but one day on my birthday he was coming back home to visit me but unfortunately he got into an accident. I vaguely remember my mother panicking and losing her sanity. I had never been so scared in my life. My father was still alive but he lost his ability to walk. Although he was still breathing I never saw him alive ever again. At one point he started drinking a lot. My mother was often out for work so it always just me and father.

One day, he was drinking a little too much so I tried to stop him. "Dad, please don't drink more-" before I could finish my sentence he pushed me on the ground. He hit me. Again and again and again...until I begged him to stop. From that day forward he would hit me everyday. My life was hell. Only after a year my mother found out and we both left the house.

"I'm so sorry, dear," my mother said as she was crying. "I should have noticed it soon, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, mom. Please don't cry," I petted her shoulder. "I'm okay it's doesn't hurt at all!" I said with a smile. In truth, it did hurt. A lot. Not the wounds on my body, no. I deserved them. What hurt me the most was that all this is my fault. If only I wasn't born, then my father would have never been in the accident. My mother I love so much wouldn't be crying like this. If only I wasn't born. I hate myself.

On that day, I decided that I would be the perfect daughter for my mother, so that she'll never cry again. I have to be perfect.

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It was a little difficult to adjust in our new place. It didn't feel like home. Nowhere did. My new school was called "silverlake middle school" it's a pretty name. Everyone in my class treated me like an outsider, probably because of my hair. I have albinism, just like my father and because of that I have white hair. It's not a common thing so the kids didn't like me. I didn't care about all that though. I came to this school because it has a ballet club.

I enter the ballet class like I do usually, "good afternoon." I said as I started to get ready.
My ballet teacher was obsessed with me, she says that I have the perfect body to be a ballerina.

"Luna, can you come to the staffroom with me?" She asked. I nodded in reply.

"Is 'miss snow white' finally in trouble?" Someone whispered. "She's probably getting kicked out for being too ugly" they all giggled. I'm okay. I'm used to this. I chanted these words in my head.

I enter the staffroom. My teacher was sitting across me. "Luna, like I always say, you have the perfect body to be a ballerina and you possess talent too."

"I know"

"Now it's the time to prove it then."

"I don't understand."

"I want you to be the lead dancer in the next show." She offered. I was taken aback by her statement. Me being the lead dancer? That's sounds unreal.

"Really?" I asked in excitement.

"Yes, but it's going to be difficult, do you still want to do it?"

"Yes!" This is my chance to impress mom. She would be so happy.

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After the miss declared that I will be the lead dancer, the bullying became a lot worse. But it didn't matter because I have a friend now. A friend I really love.

"Inara! Let's have the lunch together." I suggested.

"Of course!" She got up from her seat and we both went to our special spot. The roof.

"How was your practice today?"

"Strict. She scolded me cause I ate dinner last night."

"That's crazy. I don't think she's sane."

"Hey, don't say that. She's doing so much for me."

"By making you starve?"

"She said I need to be thin and pretty."

"Weird." She rolled her eyes. It's always so fun talking with Inara. She really cares about me.

"Look what we have here, two lovebirds having a little date." A girl suddenly came, she doesn't seem friendly. Upon seeing her, the smile on Inara's face faded away and she looked scared.

"Are you okay? Do you know her?" I asked with a worried expression. She quickly stood up a made a weird forced smile.

"She's a friend!" She said in slight panic. I don't believe her.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes..." she said, " I should head back now..." she quickly went away with her. I'm a little worried.

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"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING SO FAT! JUST HOW MUCH HAVE YOU BEEN EATING?" she scolded. I'm scared.

"I'm sorry." I cried and I couldn't say anything else.

"You are not allowed to eat anything until tomorrow, do you understand?"

"Okay."

"I'm doing all this for you, be grateful." She said. The training was tough, I was supposed to practice for 9 hours everyday and I was only allowed to eat breakfast. It was tough but I had to do it for mom. I wanted to but I couldn't. Apparently, my mother was too tired of me, so she left. Leaving me with my uncle. She abandoned me.

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The day of the performance arrived, but I have nothing but emptiness left in me. I still couldn't believe the fact that my mother abandoned me.

"Luna, we all have expectations from you, okay?" She said. I nodded.

We all went to the stage, hundreds of people were surrounding us but it doesn't matter cause none of them is my mom. I was wearing a beautiful white tutu skirt and expensive ballet shoes. My teacher told me that I look like the moon princess but I think I'm a ghost. A white empty ghost.

The music started, Clair De Lune. In that moment it felt like I'm one with the music. I danced and danced and danced. Tears were uncontrollably falling from my eyes but I didn't stop. I couldn't. When the performance ended, the whole place was silent. Everyone had tears in their eyes.

From that day forward, I was given the nickname, "Clair De Lune."

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