N o c t u r n a l

Kian's pov:

My childhood, unlike many people, was pretty normal. I had two loving mothers who loved each other quite a lot too. I grew up having to see the best example of true love everyday. It was dreamy and so Disney-like. They met each other at law school and married immediately after the same-sex marriage was legalised. Adopted me a few days later. Whether at orphanage or at home, I was never treated badly. Everyone was really kind and warm. Before I could realise, I was already craving for what my mothers had. A true love. A happy- ever-after alongside that one "special" person.

At school, no one ever bullied me for having two mothers or for being adopted. Everyone was accepting of it. It was never a big deal. Yet despite all that, I never truly had friends for all I wanted was that one "special" person. I was quite into the rebel types. A tall kinda scary-looking dude who's nonchalant and doesn't care about other people but cares about me. I was quite delusional (Delulu)

By the time I was 15, I became closed off to everyone around me. The people who cared for me and loved me but I didn't realise it and thought that's what being a teenager is like. And that's when I met "him."

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(At the beach, 9:00PM.)

I was sitting on the seawall while still crying. It's a bad habit of mine to bottle up my true feelings for as long as I can until the bottle shatters into a million pieces and so does my heart. I felt pathetic. I argued with Luna about such a stupid thing for absolutely no reason.

"Kian!" A familiar voice called from behind. I quickly wiped off my tears and looked behind and found Luna standing. Her breathing was uneven, she must've run till here just to find me. A feeling of shame hit me hard after seeing her again. Ugh, I was being so cringe back then.

She didn't say anything and simply sat beside me. There was an air of silence surrounding us, but strangely, it didn't feel so awkward. No. Instead, the presence of her being comforted me. The sound of waves hitting the shore, the clear starry sky and the soft cold breeze caressing our face added to the serenity. All the loneliness I had felt just a few minutes ago vanished into the air. I wonder if she felt the same. We sat like that for a moment before I decided to finally break the soothing silence.

"Things got a little too heavy back there huh?" I admitted, "I'm sorry for being so childish." I leaned back slightly and gazed at the sky just to avoid her glance.

"You're 18." She phrased. I was taken aback a bit. I tired to sneak a glance at her and found her looking her me intensely, with a hint of sadness in her eyes. Our eyes finally met and the intensity of her glance made it impossible for me to break the eye contact.

"You shouldn't be hiding so many emotions inside your heart," she continued, "it's going to break one day you know?" I knew exactly what she meant by that. I knew it well, yet, I still didn't do anything about it. What could I do anyway?

"Then, what do you think I should do?" I asked, desperately hoping for an answer.

"Well, you can start by opening up to someone you trust."

"Then, would you mind?"

"What? Why me?" She seemed surprised. I am too.

"I don't know. Would you, though?"

"I guess it's fine."

Without any hesitation, I started telling her about my life. My past. I had never done something like this before. All my life, I kept smiling, laughing and making silly jokes. That was all I was to everyone else. A class clown. An attention seeker. I never minded it but at some point, it felt like I have nothing beneath my mask. I'm nothing, but for some reason, it felt like my mask is useless in front of Luna, like she knows that it's fake. I had never been the type to get close to someone so quickly, it's so strange. Luna quietly listened to everything I said, carefully, without judging me.

"And that was what I was like. Before I met 'him' anyways."

"But who is 'him' though?" She asked.

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By the time I was 15, I became closed off to everyone around me. The people who cared for me and loved me but I didn't realise it and thought that's what being a teenager is like. And that's when I met "him."

"Omar."

He was a transferred student from another country. From the moment my eyes laid upon him, I knew he was the one. I was smitten by his charismatic smile, his deep black fox-like eyes with unnecessarily long eyelashes, his tall figure and that rebellious aura.

I would deliberately do any and all things just to get to see him. To get closer to him. I never had the gut to talk to him though. I would follow him wagging my non-existing tail. I couldn't be more obvious and if anything, he was smart. He caught me.

"You love me, don't ya?" He asked me on an empty and dark staircase.

"I- I um..." I shuttered uncontrollably. It felt like my whole body was on fire. Before I could even reply he kissed my lips then walked away without saying anything. My knees were too weak to handle such emotions.

After that day, though we never confirmed it, I imagined that we were dating. Surprisingly, nothing in my life really changed. It was nothing like I'd imagine it to be. The loneliness in my heart didn't seemed to disappear. Omar would occasionally kiss me sometimes, then he'll disappear when he's satisfied. There was no such thing as "consent" between us.

"That's just horrible..." Luna interrupted.

"It was, yeah." I said dejectedly. "But the worse is yet to come."

"Seriously?" Luna asked.

"After about a year of dating, I learned that he had a girlfriend all along." I revealed.

"What the hell?!" Luna raged, it's understandable.

"Yeah and a lot of shit went down, honestly, let's talk about it some other time I'm tired." I said lazily as I stretch my arms. "Moral of the story is that Nova was the one who saved me and I loved him ever since."

"That must be painful." She said with a sad expression.

"Maybe, but I'll be rooting for you two!" I exclaimed.

"Wh-what? How did you..." She's cute when she blushes. I should tease her more often.

"It's obvious you know?"

"But what about you?"

"Don't sweat it. I knew it was impossible from the beginning." I admitted. "But you Luna," I held her hands, "you have a chance and you shouldn't let it go."

She didn't say anything in return, she just looked at me with a sad expression. I had really grown to like her. Maybe we're Soulmates.

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