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37. Sir Ulgerthorpe AKA The Archipelago's Most Annoying Viking

"Oh, Thor." Hiccup muttered, trying to fight back a smile.

Stoick laughed hysterically in our faces. "Oh, sure. Yeah. Take Berk's entire cache of gold."

Gobber joined in on the laughing as Hiccup and I held unamused faces. "Here, take it all." Gobber pulled out his gold tooth, awkwardly chuckling to a stop when he saw Stoick serious expression. "Not funny, Hiccup."

"If you weren't my children, I'd lock you two up right now. You have no idea what you're suggesting." Stoick said.

"Viggo Grimborn is the most ruthless Viking we've come in contact with. If we don't do something to disrupt this auction, Viggo will make so much gold, he'll he able to buy an armada of dragon-hunting ships and reinforce his empire. No dragon will be safe, and eventually he will set his sights on Berk. And on our dragons." Hiccup explained.

"Well?" Our father asked.

"Well, what?" I replied, tilting my head.

"Well, kids, I'm assuming you didn't fly all the way here without a plan."

Saph, Toothless, and Skullcrusher played as we discussed our plan. Chip slept on my head, for he was to small to play with the other dragons.

"Hmm. A special envoy, you say?" Stoick repeated.

"Exactly." Hiccup nodded.

"Going into the auction under an assumed identity." The Cheif continued.

"Exactly." I smiled.

"Well, he's going to have to be smart, crafty, quick on his feet, and most importantly...not Snotlout!" My father yelled as Snotlout walked out in his disguise.

Snotlout clapped twice. Nothing happened. He clapped again. Nothing happened. Grunting angrily, he said, "I'm clapping. When I clap, that means you two servants serve me!"

Fishlegs pushed the twins onto their knees in front of Snotlout. Ruffnut hummed as they started to polish his boots.

The Cheif started to walk away.

"Now, before you shoots this down, and by the way, you have every reason in the entire archipelago that you should, there is a method to my-" Hiccup was cut off.

"Madness?" Stoick asked.

"Yes." I replied.

"I need you to trust us on this, dad. It's foolproof." Hiccup claimed.

"'Fool', maybe. 'Proof'? Not quite with you on that." Stoick said.

Hiccup and I both frowned.

"Oh, don't look at me like that." Our father groaned. Then he sighed. "Fine, on one condition."

Snotlout's POV:

"Hear ye, hear ye. The honorable...uh...Sir Ulgerthorpe." Gobber announced.

"Don't just stand there babbling to the peasants. Carry my gold." I said in a posh voice, shoving the chest of gold into his arms.

Counting a few coins I threw them at people. "Get yourself a new axe. You? Get yourself a new tunic."

Then I walked up to Viggo an Ryker.

Sir-" I cut Viggo off.

"Ulgerthorpe. Learn the name. Live the name. Love the name." I said.

"Of?" Viggo asked.

"Does it matter?" I motioned to the chest, Gobber showing off the gold. All of Berk's gold.