Sage

Sage pov

"This is my last time doing it for you, after this you're on your own." Denise told me preparing to clean my hand again. I got the wrapping part down but that cleaning shit confuses me. Plus I like her being this close and personal in my space. "You said that the last time." I reminded her. She looked up from my hand meeting my eyes. "And I mean it this time." She told me and I smiled. Dawg I'm so gay. "Yeah okay." She started cleaning it and I silently watched my heart beating unsteadily. It always did when she was this close, I'm nervous as hell right now.

For no reason at all it's just the gay in me.

The gay never settles.

"Have you started regaining feeling in it yet?" Dee asked attempting to make a conversation. "I think so it's just a lil sharp sting every now and then and a tingly feeling." I described looking back up at her face. "That's good." You look good.

Delectable even.

"Are we going to talk about us having sex or are we still ignoring it?" I asked her. I'm not ignoring it she's ignoring it because every time I try and talk about it she walks away saying she doesn't want to talk about it. It's infuriating really. "I mean what would you want to talk about? We had sex, I enjoyed it, you enjoyed it, and it just can't happen again." Dee answered. "But that's not all to it though. What if it happens again?" I asked. "It won't." She quickly said letting my hand go. "What makes you so sure?" I followed with after curious. Every time I bring it up she says it can't happen again, she's getting married never that she's In-love with someone else. She most certainly doesn't say 'because I'm in love with Jordan' .

She might say she loves Jordan but love and in-love are two different things.

For example; I love rye but I'm not in-love with rye because that's hetero activity. I'm In-love with someone I know because they're a great person all around. Or for the simple fact that inlove means romantically and love can mean many different things including PLATONICALLY. Y'all heard that? Pla ton ic ally so I have a chance. "You know I'd rather not talk ab-" Denise said beginning to walk away but I grabbed her with my left hand. My left was still strong and stuff but was NEVER going to be better than my right hand.

Wasn't even going to be on the same level.

I've always disliked my left hand for not being right .

"So when will you talk about it? And this walking away shit when I'm tryna talk to you is really starting to get on my nerves." I told her. "I don't know sage like I said there's nothing to talk ab-" she repeated but then I cut her off. "Because you refuse to acknowledge it happened."    "Or maybe there's really just nothing to talk about we had sex that's it."    "We made love, but somehow someway you still find a way to discard that like it's nothing." I watched and waited for her to say something else. If this was anybody else I probably wouldn't care as much and would be happy they're ignoring it. But this is Denise.

She's different, in all aspects.

"Look beautiful, I'm not trying to argue wi-"

"Oh are you sure? Because it seems like it!" Dee rhetorically asked me and I smiled. She had a small lil attitude she'll probably be crying in a couple of minutes.

"Yes! I don't wanna argue with you or overstep any boundaries that I think aren't there. You keep giving me these crazy mixed signals because one minute your engaged and it's wrong the next we doing couple shit cuddled up on my couch and I'm rubbing up on ya body while you talk about your day. Shit we used to do way back when we were together that we're not supposed to be doing as-" I put up my left hand for quotation marks. "Friends. That was way before we had any sex or kissed.  What do you want? What are we doing here?  What did the sex mean to you?" I questioned softening up my voice.

"I don't know what you want me to say sage. I can't exactly say anything without admitting something that I don't want to be true. I need us to be friends, and stay just friends so I won't hurt Jordan more than I already have. We had sex, I loved it I still think about it because it's genuinely the only time I've felt 100% safe and comfortable since I was raped. And I feel so guilty because I can't feel the same way with someone who I'm engaged to. It meant a lot to me, it meant more than I can express and I would love to experience it again but I can't without hurting Jordan. I like you sage more than I should, more than I'm supposed to and me finally saying this out loud makes it more true. And I don't want that to be true." Denise explained to me.

"Then we can be friends if that's what you truly want. Im relieved I made you feel that way because I keep thinking that I might've taken advantage of you." I got off my chest looking down. The thought was always in the back of my mind seeing as she's kind of been dodging me the day after it happened. I never brung it up because I was afraid she would've confirmed it and I would've quite literally jumped off a bridge. I think that's why I've been kind of pushing for us to talk about it.

She took a step closer then put her hand on my cheek making me look her in her eyes. "You didn't, I don't know why you'd think that but you didn't. So please get that thought and any future thoughts out of your head." Dee told me and I nodded.

"I'll keep my distance and we'll still be friends if that's what you want. But I'm not about to front like this 'friend' shit gon work cause it's not. We can be friends but we're not going to do friend shit because we don't know how to be friends. We can try but it's not going to last." I told her alread feeling my self control slipping from the closeness. "You told me what you needed, So what do you want?" I added. Wants and needs were two different things to me, so if she needed me to be just her friend I'll be that. But if she didn't want us to be friends then I wouldn't.

"I can't tell you." Denise told me shaking her head. "Why?" "Because if I do you'll start teasing me even more and I'll fall. I'll fall into your arms and hurt Jordan even more." She answered making me hold my breath. When I get too nervous I forget how to breathe, all my training is gone out the window. I didn't know whether to jump for joy or shout for happiness, I just might even do both. "If that's what you think then you already fell and just refuse to admit it." I stated. I was down to be a dirty mistress, but only for the right reasons. Not just for the fun of it like other people.

"That just might be true." Denise spoke so I asked her what she wanted again. "If this wasn't so complicated I'd want to be able to kiss you, cuddle with you, let you hold me, explore with you in a whole without feeling guilty every time I go back and spend time with Jordan. Guilty because I'm still thinking about you when he should be my focus. It wasn't like that until we kissed and now it's even harder to get you out of my head when I'm desperate for you to touch me again. But everybody always doesn't get what they want so." She explained to me and I nodded biting the inside on my lip.

"Hypothetical scenario. Let's say I wanted to kiss you right now would you let me ?"

"Hypothetical response, yes." She responded making me look back up to her eyes. My hand found its way around her waist pressing her into me while hers found her way to the side of my neck. The tension was thick, my dick was hard, my thoughts were scattered, and my right hand started getting that prickly feeling again.

Too many things going on at once and I was on the verge of passing out from the lack of oxygen. "Breathe." Denise reminded me chuckling then I quietly took one in not wanting to breathe too loud. "Realis-" I started but was cut off from her lips meeting mine.

Oh?

I uh....

After a second I started kissing her back with my hand gripping her shirt. "We should-" "probably-" "stop." Denise said In-between kisses. I leaned back from her lips wanting to respect her wishes but she grabbed my neck pulling me into her again. I feel like she doesn't want to stop.

I don't know what do y'all think?

She started lightly choking me and I started lightly cumming in my boxers.

You can't blame me though I'm touch deprived.

Mb y'all I've been busy😭