The Wait Game-Varsity Blues

For the past couple of weeks as football season was coming to an end, me and Tweeder's relationship was strained. He didn't walk me in the halls like he used to and blamed it on morning practices. He wouldn't stop to talk to me in the hallway like he normally does when talking to a crowd, he just gives me glances. He doesn't come over after practices anymore and when he does he prances and is hyped up about football scholarships and football and winning Kilmer's 22nd conference championship. I'd try to hang out with him on weekends but of course he's busy and when I ask if I could talk to him, he'd always give a nod and say later. I was slowly getting pissed off about these sort of things and I could only tolerate so much. I felt like I was Tweeder's shadow and there to fill his fantasy and void in his life. That missing piece of a girlfriend he didn't know he needed. Hell if I was a cheerleader I'd complete his story.
"You ok Ny?" Billy Bob whispered to me in class the next day.
I didn't realize I snapped my pencil in half due to Tweeder ignoring me when I walked right past him and when I said hey to him he just gave me a what up nod like I was one of his friends.
"Yes I'm fine," I said giving him a smile.
"You don't seem ok," he says and gives me a sad look. "You and Tweeder ok?"
"We're perfectly fine," I say giving him a pained smile.
"Um ok," he says and continues doing his work. "I'm here if you need anything."
"Thanks," I said.

"Are you coming after practice today?" I asked Tweeder as we were walking to the practice field.
"Mhm I don't know," Tweeder mumbles. "It depends."
"It's not that hard," I scoffed. "It's yes or no."
"Well, I'm busy," he says sounding annoyed. "But I'll come over after I eat dinner."
"You promise?" I asked looking at him. "I mean you don't have to if you want to."
"No I'm coming over," he says and gives me a smile. "I'll see you later."
He gives me a kiss and jogs to the field.
"Trouble in paradise?" Mox asked coming behind me.
"I don't know," I groaned.
"Well did you tell him how you feel?" He asked me.
"Tried," I sighed. "It's useless."
"Well Tweeder's easy to talk to sometimes," he says. "He's just stubborn."
"Yeah," I said agreeing.
"Well I guess I'll get going," he says and jogs off to the football field.
I rode with one of my friends home. When I got home, I just did my homework, clean up a little and to prepare for Tweeder.
I heard a knock on the door and ran to see who it was. It was Jules.
"Hey," I said opening the door. "What brings you here?"
"Nothing," Jules says leaning against the door frame. "You look like you're not excited for me to be here."
"I am it's just I'm expecting Tweeder," I said.
"Tweeder will come," she says comforting me. "It's just they have two more games left and winning the district championship and you know how guys get."
"Yeah," I said. "I just wanna talk to him."
"Well you see him everyday."
"No it's just...when I try to talk he says later and it's really frustrating."
"He'll come around eventually-"
The phone started ringing and I ran over towards it.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey," I heard Tweeder's tired voice over the phone.
I already knew what it was going to be about.
"You're not coming over tonight huh?" I said.
I heard him sigh loudly.
"Look I'm really sorry Ny. I'll make it-"
"No don't worry about it. Seriously," I said interrupting him.
"You sure?"
"Yes Tweeder I'm used to it. Good bye," I said hanging up and slamming the phone on the hook.
"He does this every time Jules," I said and plopped myself on the couch.
"Tweeder's a man," she says. "What do you expect?"
"I don't know at this point," I said.

"I'm really sorry," Tweeder says as I put my things in my locker. "I was real tired last night and coach made us stay afterwards."
"It's fine Tweeder," I said rolling my eyes.
"You sure? You don't sound fine," he says.
I glanced at him for a moment, he had this sad look in his eyes which were full of regret.
"I just don't like disappointing you," he says.
"You've done that alot here lately," I muttered.
"I don't mean to seriously Nyla. You know I got a lot of shit going on. I have coach on my ass, football, hell a scholarship-"
"I get it Tweeder," I snapped. "I understand and it's ok."
Tweeder had sadness in her eyes and looked away.
"How about this Friday me and you hang out?" He insisted.
"Isn't there a party this Friday?" I asked.
"So?" He chuckled. "I'm hanging out with you Friday. The last home game and boom next week is the 22nd conference game. Andddd I'm all yours and your all mines Nyla Kane."
I laughed to myself a little.
"I'll see you later Tweeder," I said and kissed him on the cheek. "See you Friday."

I waited on the couch for about half an hour. Momma was out in Houston for her job so I had the house to myself. It was eleven o clock and the football team was already done with there away game and of course they won. The game wasn't far away, maybe about thirty minutes out and thirty minutes back. I began to worry a little about Tweeder. Maybe he was taking a shower or on the way over here. Maybe he went to the damn party. I heard a knock on the door and ran to see who it was. I flung the door open and saw Jules in her night robe looking mad.
"I see Tweeder ain't here," she says folding her arms.
"He's coming," I said rolling my eyes.
"You look like you're half way asleep," Jules says. "You need some sleep."
"Not until Tweeder's here," I yawned.
"He's at that party Nyla," she says. "I know he is go check it out."
I sat there for moment while Jules leaves.
"How am I gonna get over there?" I called to her.
"I'll take you," she says.

Me and Jules got out of the truck and the party was crowded. People were getting drunk like crazy and talking amongst themselves.
"I hope I can prove you wrong Jules," I said.
"He's here watch," Jules says and leans against the truck while I go search for Tweeder.
"Hey Nyla," Billy Bob says with a worried look. "You came to party?"
"No," I said trying to walk past him but he was blocking my way. "I came for Tweeder."
"I don't think Tweeder's here," he says.
"Billy Bob move out my way please," I said in a stern voice. "Tweeder's in there ain't he?"
Tweeder came out with a couple girls and a guy talking. We met eyes and he cursed to himself.
"Excuse me for a moment," Tweeder says and walks over towards me.
"So I guess we're not hanging out tonight," I said and turned my back. "You know Tweeder I was gonna let it slide but I said fuck it."
"Can we go somewhere more private," he whispers to me.
"Yeah sure so I won't have to fucking embarrass you," I said loudly causing a couple people to look.
"Look I'm sorry for not coming tonight," he apologized. "It's just the party is tradition and I couldn't miss this-"
"You think you're better than me Tweeder? You think I'm just some black girl to be apart of your fucking football fantasy because your getting all the girls, the scholarships and I try to talk to you but no your so wrapped up in shit?" I snapped.
"What the hell are you even talking about?" He said in disbelief and taken aback.
"You know what I'm talking about," I said folding my arms. "Tweeder I can't drive myself crazy because you know for a fact you haven't been talking to me, you barely notice me and we don't even hang out anymore. I try and try to understand that you have football but you never have time for me."
"I have a life too Nyla. I can't just drop stop and roll for you because your bitchin' about shit-"
"Who the fuck is bitching Tweeder?"
"You are! Like I have alot of shit going on with my life and you know this. After football season is over I'll be free. I promise."
"You made so many promises to me I don't even know you'll hold up to that. I don't even know if you want a relationship with me Tweeder. I can't be some side character in your story but until you figure something out I think we just need to be together anymore."
"You're not leaving me," Tweeder scoffed. "We just need to talk things out tomorrow."
"Why not now?" I said. "I've been trying to talk to you about things-"
"Maybe stop bitchin' about it," he said sounding annoyed as he took a sip of his beer.
I could tell Tweeder was drunk as hell right now and wasn't in his right mind to even stand or to talk to me.
And in a flash of moment, I slapped the shit out of Tweeder.
"Fuck you Charlie Tweeder," I said as I walked off.
I didn't realize a crowd of people were around us and I heard ooos echo through the crowd. I wanted to break down and cry but I just ran to the truck so Jules could take me home. I started sobbing silently to myself and realize what I had just done.