It's you I'm thinking of > Patrick Feely

Patrick

     If Erin hadn't of strolled into my room twenty minutes ago and asked me to go pick up Ruby, I probably would have sat there all night staring at the wall.

I was in a bad mood because of a purple bruise I was sporting just above my eye and a cut on my forehead. Some prick had given me a box right across the face after I had accidentally 'pushed' him during a match yesterday. Complete bullshit.

I couldn't even get in a hit back because Hughie had hauled me away before I could get close.

I already had a fucked up jaw from an altercation two years ago, I didn't need a fucked up eye to add to the package.

I had absolutely no plan on leaving the house today but here I was, sulking in the car while I booted it to Ruby's house.

I was sulking because I looked like a fair aul' git, right? Because that guy hit me and I couldn't hit him back. Surely that had to be it.

And not that I hadn't spoken a word to Ruby in nearly a month, and the longest month of my life at that. Because she could barely look at me the next day in school after that night at her house and I was completely pissed off with myself. I'd done it, I'd fucking gone and done it. I'd scared her away. Of course I had.

And it ate at me more and more as the days turned into weeks and the only interactions between us were one sided and mainly were times I'd spotted her across the canteen during lunch and wanted nothing else but to grab her and take her everywhere with me. And it was fucking with my head even more that Hugh had spoken to her more in the last month than I had. Ever since Katie started hanging around with Erin and Ruby, I'd not heard the fucking end of it from him.

And then I saw her in the field with Katie and Erin during lunch a few days ago while I was moving goal posts and collecting any equipment left on the back pitches with Johnny.

She was fucking glowing.

The sun shining was something I think we all needed but the fucking way Ruby looked that day was unspeakable.

And for the first time since I'd met her, I believed that she really was happy.

I'd seen her smile and laugh before but the way she looked laying in the middle of the field with her friends basking in the sun was different.

Which made me hate myself even more because I had no way of telling her how happy she looked because I fucked everything up.

I was pathetic. I practically jumped out of my bed at the fucking mention of her name and wasted no time in jogging downstairs and out the front.

I cursed as I took the turn for Ruby's estate too fast and had to dodge a cat. God I hated cats. Especially whatever the fuck Gibsie's god awful cat was, that thing was beyond evil.

When I slowed to a stop outside her house, Ruby was sat on the front step with the remains of a cigarette balancing between the tips of her fingers. It was pretty dark by now, but nowhere near as dark as the black hair that flowed around her beautiful face. And her skin which looked paler now than when I'd seen her last.

She was huddled up in a navy zip up hoodie with a pair of worn out blue jeans and when she stood up and waved at me, I could see a silvery piercing hooked through her belly button. Her smile soon faltered as I got closer to her down the drive.

"Who did that?" She gasped, her fingers hovered over the purple bruise on my forehead, and I let her. I willed her to press them to my skin but it was to no avail. "Were you in a fight?"

"No, some arsehole boxed me straight across the face yesterday during a match." I grumbled, still sour.

"It looks bad. Is it bad?" She winced.

"Five stitches so it'll be grand." I shrugged as I looked down at her.

"Is anyone in?" I asked. Changing the subject. "Yeah." She nodded as she stared up at me. When she saw the unconvinced look I had on my face, she continued.

"My mams in, she's not in work til' half seven." She assured me. Though I still wasn't convinced.

I wondered what her mam was like, I had never met her but it seemed like she worked a lot. I was always wondering what went on in that big lonely house.

I nodded before placing my hand on her lower back and leading her towards the car. I tried my best to ignore how good her skin felt against my palm and how much I felt the absence of it once she got in the car.

"How are things? How's Oscar?" I asked, once I pulled out of the estate.

"Oscar's good." She smiled "He just lost his first tooth. I swear I've never seen the boy so happy."

I chuckled, "oh yeah? Did the tooth fairy come?"

I saw how Ruby tensed up out of the corner of my eye. "Uh yeah." She cleared her throat, "He got some sweets from the shop yesterday."

"Well that'll help with the rest of them." I joked, I realised how stupid it sounded once it came out of my mouth, Ruby laughed anyway.

"Here, play some music." I told her, nodding towards the glove compartment where I had numerous CD's.

After a few minutes of nothing but the sound of scraping plastic and soft hums from Ruby as she sorted through the discs, she finally pressed play on a song.

Rockwell's 'Somebody's watching me' started playing out of the speakers, I snickered.

"I thought it was fitting." Ruby let out a soft laugh "It is Halloween n'all"

~ ~ ~

     "Come on, babe. This party will be fun, I swear. You won't regret it." Hughie pleaded as we followed the girls downstairs and into the kitchen.

Katie stopped and turned to look at Erin who then looked to Ruby who looked at Katie again.

"No- Don't do that." Hughie interjected, poking his head in between the three.

"Do what?" Ruby asked, shrugging her shoulders.

"That little look you just gave each other." Hughie grumbled, clearly irritated.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Erin shrugged, a gleam in her eyes.

"The— Never mind," Hughie groaned, "Are yous coming to the party or not?"

The girls then, once again, darted their eyes between each other. A subtle way of communicating without anyone being able to know.

"Give us twenty minutes."

It in fact did not take twenty minutes.

It was an hour later by the time we pulled up to a jam-packed detached house on the other side of Ballylaggin.

When we got inside, it wasn't long before Ruby ran off into the crowd.

By the time I'd fully registered what was happening, she was already gone.

Hi