It's you I'm thinking of > Patrick Feely

Ruby

     I swiped a hand over my nose and sniffled, I didn't even have the energy to open my eyes but I guess I'm always there if someone needs me.

It was Oscar today, Katie when she wants to chat about Hughie, Erin when she's upset about what horrible thing Alex had done that week.

"Osc, I told you not to go into the woods." I scolded, rubbing Aloe Vera all over his legs as he restlessly kicked them about. "Stay still."

"I can't." He whined, dragging his hands down his sweaty face. "They sting."

"Yeah, well, you walked straight into a nettle bush, one of the exact reasons I told you not to go any further than the green." I told him, shaking my head.

"I'm sorry." He groaned for the third time since he'd come racing into my bedroom as he tirelessly scraped and scratched at the skin of his legs.

"You don't have to be sorry, Osc." I sighed, "Just know when I tell you things, it's usually for a good reason."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He screeched, jumping down off the chair and racing out of the kitchen and through to his room.

My head fell on cue, the strength it took to even hold my head up was waining by the second. I practically climbed onto the chair in front of me from my perch on the ground.

Get up.

Please, no.

Get up and be a good sister.

I was a sister to the greatest big brother in the world. I am a sister to a little boy who deserves better.

Pulling myself to my feet, I shook off the dizzy feeling as all the blood rushed away from my head. I stumbled to the ajar door of Oscar's bedroom where I could see him curled up in a ball at the end of his bed.

"Osc." I whispered, still remaining in the doorway.

"Don't hate me." He begged, burying his head further into the covers, "please don't hate me."

"What are you talking about?" I questioned, sinking down onto the floor because my eyes had betrayed me and I could hardly see straight.

"Conor told me that his big brother hates him." He whimpered, still scratching at his legs with his feet. "I don't want you to hate me."

He should hate me, not the other way around.

I crawled, yes, crawled, over to the edge of Oscar's little bed and rested my head against the mattress so I was eye to eye with him.

"How could I hate you, Oscar? You're the best little brother I could ask for." I told him, quietly. And I meant it more than I've ever meant anything in my life.

"Really?" He stared over at me with such hopeful and pure eyes,

"Really." I choked back everything that I had bottled up for the last six months and made sure my little brother knew how much I loved him and always will. "No matter what happens, Osc, I will always be your sister."