Idols | LisRene (Revised Version)

5

"That doesn't matter. I'll see you—"

"No. Stay there."

I hesitated. "Lisa, I want to talk about it too. I can't sleep either. And honestly... I want to see you."

Silence filled the line. I could still hear her breathing, heavy and uncertain. Then, after a long pause, she finally spoke.

"Send me the plate number of the taxi you take..." Lisa reminded me softly, and without thinking, I smiled.

"And please... take care."

***

I stepped into their dorm, only to find Lisa already waiting for me at the front door.

Before I could say a word, she grabbed my hand and pulled me away. She was in a hurry—determined, even—as if making sure none of her members saw us together.

We walked for ten minutes, no destination in sight, but she never let go.

Lisa's pace suddenly slowed, and she let go of my hand. This felt like the right moment to finally bring up the issue.

I noticed the dark circles under her eyes—she looked exhausted, like she hadn't rested at all. And yet, despite everything, she was still breathtaking. No matter how tired she was, her face remained beautiful in my eyes.

"About the kiss, Joohyun..." she spoke up suddenly.

Then, with a sharp breath, she blurted, "You shouldn't have done that!"

Her voice was louder than I expected, making me flinch. Was she mad? Frustrated? Why did it feel like I had done something terribly wrong?

"Oh God, I don't know anymore." She pressed her hands against her head as if the weight of her thoughts was suffocating her. "What is this feeling? Joohyun, help me. Explain it to me."

"Lisa..." I reached out to take her hands, hoping to calm her, but she immediately stepped back—like my touch burned her.

"Please, just calm down. We can talk about this. Just... don't raise your voice."

To be honest, she was scaring me.

She stared at me for a moment, her chest rising and falling rapidly. But slowly, she started to relax. She was listening.

"Should I start with the kiss?" I asked gently.

"Yes. Why did you do that?"

Because I wanted to. Because in that moment, you looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Because..." The words hovered on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't bring myself to say them. "I don't know. I just... kissed you."

"Jesus, Hyun!" Lisa ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "You can't just kiss someone because you don't know! You shouldn't have kissed me just because—oh my God, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore." She covered her mouth with her palm, her entire demeanor unraveling before me.

This was a side of Lisa I had never seen before.

"I don't even know why I'm reacting this way, Hyun. Is it because it was my first? Tell me... does a first kiss always feel like this?"

I blinked. Her first kiss?

"I-I don't know..." I hesitated, my voice barely above a whisper. "You were my first kiss too."