Idols | LisRene (Revised Version)

LISA

I crumpled the evaluation sheets in frustration, my hands shaking as I tried to read through them. With a sudden burst of anger, I slammed my fist against the wooden table, hoping—praying—that the sharp sting in my knuckles would somehow distract me from the unbearable pain in my chest.

It didn't.

So I did it again. And again.

Blood smeared across the table as my knuckles split open, but it was nothing compared to the ache tearing me apart from the inside. If my manager hadn't walked in at that moment, I don't know what else I might have done. Gasps echoed around me. The Chinese staff. My fellow mentors. Everyone was staring in shock, horror evident in their eyes. But I didn't care.

Nothing could hurt more than this. How could Joohyun do this to me?

January 1. It's supposed to be a fresh start. A new year, a new beginning, a chance to move forward.

But if January 1 only brings me the news of Joohyun's dating scandal with another man, then I curse this day forever.

Breaking News: Dispatch's January 1 Couple Revealed

EXO's leader Kim Junmyeon (SUHO) and Red Velvet's leader Bae Joohyun (IRENE) are reportedly dating. Sources state that the two have been seeing each other since early 2018.

I felt my entire world collapse. Every plan I made—shattered. My heart, crushed beyond repair. It felt like someone had reached into my chest and ripped it straight out.

How could I let this happen? How could she let this happen? How could I be so stupid?

Messages flooded my phone.

Nini: Please reply ASAP.
Chu: Lisa, don't watch the news or check social media.
Seulgi: We hope you're doing okay.
Chaeng: Do you want me to come over?
Nini: Reply, please. Tell us you're okay.
Seulgi: I don't know what she's doing anymore. We're just as shocked as you are.
Chaeng: Jennie wants to fly to China.
Chu: Lisa, please be okay. I'm worried sick about you.
Chaeng: Just reply. One reply. We're all worried.
Nini: Lili, please. Answer my call.
Seulgi: SM is holding a press conference. Unnie is really doing this. I'm sorry.

***

"I'm going home," I announced as soon as the doctor finished bandaging my hand.

My manager exchanged glances with the three staff members assigned to me for the show. Even one of my co-mentors—who had become a close friend—was still lingering nearby.

"No, Lisa. You can't go to Thailand," my manager insisted. "You have to attend the celebration party tonight."

I shook my head. "I want to go home."

Desperation clawed at my throat. I would have fallen to my knees if it meant convincing them.

"I need to see Joohyun," I choked out, my voice cracking at the mere mention of her name. I needed her to tell me, to look me in the eyes and say this was all a lie. That it was just another horrible nightmare. That it was still me. That she wasn't seeing anyone else because she had me. That she still loved me.

Please, just say you love me.

"Sweetheart, listen to me," XingMin gently cupped my face. "You can't leave yet."