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hiraeth - part one hundred-three

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Y/n was sure she was going insane spending all of her time inside the walls of Capsule Corporation. When it wasn't her thoughts dragging her down a spiral of depression, she was somehow accessing muscle memory that she shouldn't have access to, and when it wasn't that, she was pushing her limits to her base form training with Goku and Whis, and even Vegeta. Even little things, like running into Gohan were starting to stress her out. It was nothing like staying in the Land of the Kais. She felt like she had to be doing something at all times, making use of herself, or else her thoughts would spiral. It was maddening.

The muscle memory thing was the worst of all. She hadn't put too much thought into it when she had accidentally helped Bulma, but now she kept finding herself in front of her old room. Like her body was intentionally doing this to her. She chalked it up to her feelings of having nothing to live for anymore, her body searching for things that she may have once done before she lost her memories.

Time had started to fly by once again, each day spent either training, or curled up in bed, hiding from the rest of the world. And before Y/n even knew it, six months had passed her up. Six months of training her body in the gravity chamber, six months of her and Goku's wedding plans coming to a standstill, six months of being trapped in an endless loop. And no matter how much she talked to Goku about it, nothing changed the fact that she never felt a need to continue her life anymore. Her life had come to a complete halt.

"Huh?" Y/n stared up at Goku with wide eyes, her mind processing the words that had just come from his mouth. She had to wonder if she had just imagined it, if he really did ask her such a question, but the nervous smile he gave her as he rubbed the back of his neck told her she wasn't hearing things. He really was trying to leave.

"Vegeta is leaving to train with Whis, and I really want to go," Goku explained further, taking her hands into his. "I think you should stay. You need to get used to living on Earth again, you've been gone for way too long."

It wouldn't have been an issue if only he hadn't said that. That meant they would be split apart, and Y/n wouldn't have anyone to lean on anymore. It was hard enough facing a past she couldn't remember, but now she was having to do it alone. She wanted to say no, that he could stay here, even train with her. But Y/n knew she couldn't hold Goku back. One of the core things that made Goku who he is was how much he pushed himself to improve, how he was constantly honing his skill. Y/n should have known from the beginning that this would inevitably happen. And it wasn't like she had much room to talk, she was leaving everyone behind all the time.

But that didn't change the fact that she didn't want to let him go, her hands squeezing his tightly as she looked down to the floor beneath their feet. She could feel Goku sigh, one of his hands sliding out of her fingers and tilting her up by her chin. He gave her as soft a smile as he could manage, pressing the tip of his nose against hers. "It'll be okay, Y/n. I'll make sure we won't be gone longer than a couple weeks, a month max. And heck, Bulma has that communication device that Whis gave her, I could even call sometimes."

Moving back, Goku pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, cupping her cheek in his large hand as his smile grew, giving her a toothy grin. "You could even make more plans for our wedding! I'm sure Bulma will be willing to help if you need it. And when I get back, you can show me all of your ideas. I'm sure I'll love them."

He was trying to soften the blow of leaving Y/n behind on Earth, even if only for a short time. Y/n knew this, but she couldn't help the small smile that tugged on her lips. He was always so smooth about making her feel better, making her forget her worries.