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hiraeth - part one hundred-nine

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       Staring at the girl that lay lifeless in the freezer capsule, Goku hesitantly approached, as if unable to believe his own eyes. Only a few days ago, he had been holding her in his arms, basking in her warmth. And now, as he cupped her freezing cheeks in his hands, he couldn't feel even a hint of that warmth. She had been gone for a while now, he could tell right away. He wanted to ask what happened, to get mad, to murder whoever had done such a thing to Y/n, pushing her to her limits, but he couldn't even move his eyes away from her, let alone work his voice.

"The Red Ribbon army came back," Gohan started slowly, letting each word sink into Goku's mind. "They made another Cell, way different from the last. We were losing, and... Y/n sacrificed herself to weaken him."

It felt like he was finally admitting that Y/n really was gone. Gohan still couldn't wrap his mind around how she could be gone. Even though she liked to tell herself that she had lived enough for two lifetimes, she was still just a young girl, taken too soon. She shouldn't have had to give up her life like that.

Goku's legs shook, suddenly giving way as he collapsed by Y/n's side. They were supposed to get married. Goku was supposed to make her his own, and finally move into a home of their own. He even wanted to have a baby with her one day, when she was ready. He was supposed to love her until the end of their natural lives, and even beyond that. And now, he'd never hear her voice again, never see the way her eyes lit up when they met his own.

"What am I supposed to do now?" Goku mumbled, looking up to Y/n with tear filled eyes. "You were my everything, Y/n."

Goku had never known a despair quite like this one. He had failed her in every way possible. He didn't get her memories back, hadn't been there to protect her when she needed it, and wasn't there for her in her final moments. He never helped her find a reason to live.

Goku didn't even realize he was shaking, tears streaming down his cheeks until he felt a pair of arms wrap around him, Bulma hugging onto him tightly as she bit back her own tears. Gohan dropped to his knees as well, hugging onto Goku. It was all that could be done, words would never heal the scars that would be left in the wake of Y/n's death.

Goku cried out all of his tears until he couldn't manage any more, eyes puffy and tired. There was nothing that could be done now. Goku would have to move on, alone. He would never even be able to join her after death, as her soul had disappeared. For now and forever, he was alone.

"We'll have to find her a resting place, Goku," Bulma spoke softly, as if scared her voice might shatter him. It just might, as he nearly crumbled at the idea. Even if they were going to preserve her, the idea that he would have to decide where she slept forever was haunting.

There was really only one place that Goku thought suited it. Rising to his feet, he brushed his fingers against her cool skin, closing his eyes as he basked in the cold night air, wet stains on his cheeks freezing. "I know where. I'll take her."

Sliding open the door, Goku coughed as it kicked up old dust. It had been quite some time since he had been out to visit his old place, his childhood home. Behind him stood Bulma and Gohan, who looked around as Goku stepped inside.

"I was thinking about building onto this for us," Goku muttered as he looked around. He let out a soft sigh as his eyes drifted to the floor. As little energy as he had, he had to do this for Y/n. After he laid her to rest, he didn't think he'd ever leave his bed again.

Cleaning up the inside of the small room, the freezer capsule rested in the center, Bulma smiling softly as she stepped back after laying down some flowers inside. Hesitantly, she closed the lid to the capsule, the door sealing. From now on, her body would be preserved for as long as the freezer capsule lasted. It seemed more right than to just bury her. Like they were holding out hope that one day, she might just wake up again. It's not like she hadn't before. But those were just false hopes.