The Diary of an obsessive idiot(diary 4)

got my fuckin license a few days ago, fuck yh... i mean i'm twenty so it's about bloody time but stfu.

once upon a time this goal wasn't something i'd have the ability to do, i wouldn't have the competence be it stupidity, the lack of ability to hold a train of thought, plain ass anxiety or whatever that barred me, but i fucking did it!

i was kinda nervous about the test but it was relatively easy, the assessor was pretty chill, forgot to shoulder check once, as well as one missed shoulder check, but first try is an absolute dub.

anyways be able to drive is genuinely great, my friend once said being an adult felt like they had freedom and i mean sure you can make your own decision without restraint, but its not physical freedom, you can't just go wherever you please. say i wanted to go to the store and back, that'd be like 40 mins walking, while a drive is like 4 minutes both ways if that, my 50 minute commute to work is now 15 or so, and i don't get there half an hour before my shift even starts because i have to catch the bloody bus.

sorry i know this is something almost everybody has done but it's just feels so freeing.




anyways what else is new,

i put in my resume to hopefully get a job at a certain location. 

friends are a rare resource but i really like the people i work with, but i have a feeling that they're going to remain as a work friend, i believe they see me as a kid which i can't really blame them i'm anxious as shit, anxious as shit, covered in shitty acne, and look young as shit, shit. it is disappointing that i'm probably going to remain on the outside of the social circle but you never know when that'll change.

 my cars breaks are getting fixed (hopefully) next tuesday which is nice (i still struggle to believe my neighbour just up and gave it to me).

got a 3d printer awhile ago, don't know if i mentioned that in any previous installments but it's absolutely epic, i've got armies of minis. talking about mini's i'm starting to get into warhammer cause what's better then racism? SPACE RACISM! that being said #teamnids

i came to the realisation that the degradation of my friendships with certain people is partly my fault, though i still feel like my friendships are rather one sided.

anyways that's it for now, cya cunnies