I'm Not A Simp.

Cameraman #211 - SS

While applying a new set of wax to my body I couldn't help but think of Simp. His manners, his cheerful attitude, his resilience. The more I thought about him the happier I got but the worse my sadness got as well. I gripped my shoulders, what is going on with me? I've never been this upset before so why did I feel the need to cry my heart out?

I shook my head of those thoughts and got up, I turned off the wax shower and decided that Doctor cameraman could help me with my problem. On the way there I was reminded of how often me and Simp would walk here together after one of my brothers sessions with him, I could feel my chest tighten at those thoughts. I should've been there for him, I should've stopped my brother from hurting him, I should've cared and mothered him as much as I could. It was an agonizing walk.

Once I arrived I could see that Doctor cameraman was tired, since he had to patch up a bunch of cameramen after the fight, and excited, since we had rescued Titan speakerman. When he saw me his gaze softened, before returning sorrowful since he had a guess on why I was here. He pulled me into a concealed corner where no one would hear see us and signed. 'It's about Simp isn't it?' Just like I thought he knew.

'Yeah, but how did you know.' I didn't even say anything so how did he know?

'Your brother,' he started, 'was talking about how a giant weight was lifted off of his shoulders and how much easier it would be to protect you.' That bastard.

'I see...' I paused, 'Doctor is there any sign of Simp coming back or a mention of him anywhere.'

He casted his gaze down. 'You know his reputation, he isn't exactly popular within the Alliance.' 

I knew that already but it didn't stop any ounce of hope I had left. 'I know, but the alliance wouldn't just leave him!' I translated that part sloppily.

He looked remorseful. 'It's war, things happen and soldiers get lost, anything's possible.' 

I didn't like that answer and lowered my head, he noticed before saying something which reassured me, 'Simp was an original cameraman you know, the third one to be exact.' I looked up at him.

'In that time he was friends with Plunger and Lucky, two of our greatest assets to the alliance.' Where was he going with this?

'And so,' he said signed in a relaxed tone, 'rumor has it that Lucky personally took it upon himself to search for Simp.' That surprised me.

'What do you mean?' I signed a little bit frantically.

'Lucky has been seen in the area where both Plunger and Simp were hit, consecutive times and he would leave the area for a short while before coming back and checking the rubble around the area.' He signed reassuringly before realizing his mistake.

'HE WAS HIT!?' That scared me beyond anything I've encountered so far. 

'Reports are slow but apparently Simp was hit by a falling chunk of a building, pinning him down.' He answered my question assuringly. 

I could feel my core start to overheat again, if Simp got hit with a building the odds of him dying tripled. 'Was he okay?' I signed in a scared tone.

'We don't know, since Lucky rarely ever reports to us we have no idea but the odds are but it's most likely no.' He signed disappointedly.

 The Doctor then signed again. 'Since Lucky has been seen in the same area before occasionally drifting to another area before going back it's entirely possible that he's trying to figure out where Simp went.'

He paused before giving me what he really thinks. 'But we don't even know if he's looking for Simp, if anything it's more likely that he's looking for something that was probably lost during the fight and since Simp was trapped in the middle of the action the odds of Lucky looking for him in particular are small.' He signed sadly.

In the span of a few minutes my core was absolutely delighted and then shattered again, Lucky whatever your doing please find Simp. 'Simp left the building to save plunger so he must've gotten fairly close to him and if Plunger was by Tv women the surely she saw him!' That's right Tv woman has to have seen him, she's already saved him once.

The Doctors gaze squinted. 'Maybe, but it's entirely possible that Simp is trapped under the rubble or worse...'

I won't imagine that, I refuse to imagine that, if the Toilets got Simp then the torture they would put him through would be extreme. Every time we liberated a prison of cameramen and speakermen it would take months of rehabilitation to get them back on the battlefield.

Just imagining Simp in that state made me queasy, but I don't even know if death is a better option since it would take him away from me. Doctor cameraman looked at the clock, he still had patients to look after so he started leaving but I grabbed his shoulder. 'Just one more thing,' I signed.

He looked annoyed but got back into a listening position. 'Since I've started thinking about Simp my whole body has been feeling weird.' I signed embarrassingly.

He looked thoughtful before giving me his answer. 'You just lost someone important to you I would be shocked if you weren't feeling weird.' He signed thoughtfully. 'Describe it.' Was the next thing he signed.

'Whenever I think about Simp, my core feels hot and I wonder what he thinks about me and I always have this strange happiness with butterfly's whenever I think about him before it's replaced with a sudden dread.' I needed to know what was happening with me.

He answered me almost instantly. 'You love him,' He signed blatantly. 'It's expected, especially now since you're a woman.'

I froze, love him I don't love him, well I do but not that type of love! Unless... the more I thought about me and Simp being in a loving relationship the happier I got before I realized that he was probably dead.

'Calm down,' I was interrupted, 'stop shaking like that, Simp is strong and he will definitely live so just hold out for him.'

I didn't even realize I was shaking then he signed again. 'I'll give you a head start, Simp likes being called Brown, he told me this during one of his visits I just didn't listen since I'm required by the Alliance to refer to members as their respective title or number.' He paused. 'But you're not so if you call him something other than Simp you can definitely carve your feelings into him when he returns, because he will return.' He looked at me reassuringly 

 Call him Brown? He did look happy when I called him that before he left so I guess it wouldn't hurt. 'Thank you.' I signed as we both left. Telling Doctor cameraman that I was a girl was definitely the right call, since he can help me with my girl problems that my brother wouldn't understand and fix me up normally since he knew my anatomy.

When I first told him he was shocked like anyone would be but once he figured out why he promised not to tell anyone and so far nobody outside of my brother and him know, at least not yet their will be a third person very soon.

That night I stared at Browns bunk before stealthy grabbing his pillow, I held it in my arms cradling it like I may never see it again while thinking about how I should tell Brown that I'm a girl or even get me feelings across to him since he likes Tv women.

The Doctors words gave me reassurance, Brown will be okay I know he is. Despite the difficult day I powered off rather peacefully thinking about Brown and us being more than squad mates. 

My last thought before deactivating for the night was me and Brown being together, the sheer idea made me happy.