The summer everything changed | C.F

Helping Conrad study for his test was long and difficult. The only ones who really knew the material was Conrad and I. I have been talking college level classes since I started high school. But I had been struggling a bit more since last summer. Mostly because I stopped caring. I just wanted to be with Susannah. But we had a reward system, his notes, and flash cards Steven made to rely on. Pulling an all nighter wasn't something I was used to either so I kept dozing off. But when we were finally confident enough we all passed out in the living room.

Only to be woken up a short two hours after by mom. It started to feel slightly normal again when mom made us take our usual picture together. But in the back of my mind was the lingering thought of that kiss with Conrad yesterday. I tried to not let it cloud my thoughts. But it was so hard when things were still a little complicated. Someone snapped in my face to catch my attention from my daze and I looked into mom's eyes.

"I thought you guys could use some caffeine for the drive to Brown." Mom signed the words she knew to show she was still practicing.

"Are you serious?" Belly asked looking at me and mom shrugged.

"That doesn't mean you guys are off the hook for lying to me—repeatedly." She looked between us and we both knew we would have some sort of repercussions when we got home. So pushing it further wouldn't change anything. "But I'm proud of you. I know Beck would be too."

"Thanks mom." We ran toward the boys. "Guys we're coming with you."

"Shotgun!" Belly yelled.

"Bring them right home after." Mom scolded the boys. But we didn't leave before the boys did one last Belly flop.

Sitting in the car it was very quiet. Belly and Jeremiah in the front. Conrad and I in the back. It was just the sound of the radio faintly playing and the sound of the AC blowing. I didn't understand how Conrad could read while someone was driving. It always made me so sick. I still tried a lot, but that usually ended in my throwing up as soon as the vehicle was stopped.

"You cold?" Jeremiah spoke breaking the silence in the car. Belly's hair was still wet from being thrown in the pool just before we left.

"No, I'm okay. I like it chilly. I just need—" she went to dig for something and Conrad without looking up handed her a hoodie from the back seat. His hoodie.

"Oh thank you." She simply responded pulling it over her head, making my eyes jealously dart between the two.

"Alright. I'm gonna play something to lighten the mood." Jeremiah turned up the volume of the radio.

"I'm trying to study." Conrad complains. After their little singing break it was quiet again for the rest of the drive so Conrad could study. When we arrived we all got out of the car to stretch.

    "You got this bro." Jeremiah encouraged. I'm kind of glad they are getting along again.

    "Yeah it's cool if you don't, but I think you do." Belly added to me it sounded a little backhanded.

    "You think you could show me somewhere to read?" I asked him and he nodded simply back.

    "Yeah, I'll see you guys after." He said to them nodding for me to follow him. I followed walking beside him. I kind of liked this campus, I have never visited here before. Maybe in some alternate universe I have, to see him. But not in this universe. "You just didn't want to be stuck around them huh?" He signed.

    "I have my cochlear you don't have to sign." I spoke avoiding the question.

    "I know." He said. "But mom told me that you wanted to be fluent in sign language. So she told us that whether you had them in or not we should sign." I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed.

    "She is so thoughtful." I responded.

    "Was." He mumbled with a frown. I looked back at him and that comment made me sad. Undoubtedly not on purpose. I was sure he didn't mean for me to hear that. "Sorry." He signed.

    "It's okay." I replied in the same way.

    "You didn't answer my question though." He looked at me, I knew he was meaning the Belly and Jeremiah thing.

    "I just want to read my book." I held it up as proof.

    "Right." He laughed. "What's this one?"

    "Picking Daisies On Sundays." I replied, he hummed.

    "Well here's big ass tree to sit under. There's a bench but I doubt I'll find you there when I come back out." He knew I preferred lying in the grass.

    "Thank you."

    "Wish me luck?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

    "Good luck. Not that you need it though, you're brilliant Conrad."

    When we were younger, I was always asking Conrad for help on summer homework. Then, he thought it was silly that I wanted to learn and do more work during summer break. But now that I think about it, I was just wanting the same one on one time with him that he had with Belly. To me it was just an excuse to have him help me. I mean it benefited me in other ways, but the main reason was to spend time with him. I wrote all about it in my diary that specific year, Belly and I were only 11. I was obsessed with writing everything down in that little unicorn diary with a lock that could be opened with a bobby-pin. I got it from the book fair the school year before.

   
Dear Diary,

    Yesterday Conrad taught Belly how to do this fancy dance. I was super jealous. It looked like so much fun. So today I asked Conrad to help me with my pre algebra work. It is really advanced for me. But I am determined to be able to take pre algebra this school year instead of sixth grade math. That way I can take algebra 1 in seventh grade.

    I just want to be in a different class than Belly. They ALLLLLWAYS put us in the same classes. It is really annoying. People would always compare Belly and I. Our differences. My differences.

    It took some convincing (not a lot) but he helped me. He was really nice too. Also very helpful. I like the little freckles on his cheeks. But anywayssss I just want to hang out with Connie how Belly does. But it wasn't the same. I wish he taught me how to dance too.

Ollie 7-16-16

    I saw a shadow cast over my face, my eyes were closed but I could tell there was someone standing above me. I opened my eyes to see Conrad standing his head blocking the sun from my face. I looked around and sat up the book was open sitting in my lap. I blinked a few times before realizing. I fell asleep, I didn't even get to read the book. I looked at him clueless and he had a small sideways smile on his face.

    "Did you even read?" I shook my head.

    "Not even a word." He smiled surprisingly, holding out his hand to help me up. I took it grabbing the book with my other hand. He pulled me up. "I was tired, didn't get enough sleep."

    "Oh I wonder why." He spoke sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

    "I was too busy making sure you would pass your test." I said then paused looking over at him. "Speaking of how did it feel?"

    "Good." He nodded as we walked back in the direction where Jeremiah parked Conrads Range Rover. "Really good." He looked over at me. I looked forward as we walked up we both saw something we weren't expecting.

    Belly and Jeremiah, making out against the car. His car. I stood shocked and Conrad cleared his throat. Making them brake away and look at us standing in awe. But I didn't know how to feel because Conrad was very clearly upset. But was I supposed to be jealous? Upset? Or neutral? She is his ex girlfriend now. So should I be overthinking that he's upset? Did he still mean everything he said to me if he was upset? Honestly I don't know but this was extremely awkward.