suicide notes 「 jungkook 」

미칠 듯 달러도 또 제자리일 뿐 뿐 뿐
even if i run like crazy, i'm only in the same place.

"Noona, what's going on with you? Lately, all you've been doing is staring off blankly into space. Are you okay?" Jimin asked me the next day while we were sat down at our newly-claimed table at lunch with Hoseok and Namjoon as they nodded their heads in agreement.

I blushed slightly. I didn't realize that it was that obvious that I was consumed in my thoughts all day, all of which revolving around my new neighbor, Jungkook. His thoughts ran around in circles in my own thoughts, repeating themselves over and over like a broken record. I wanted to see if he needed help or not, and to be the one to help if he did need it, but I didn't even know the first thing about how to approach him. He was so cold and aloof.

"Just... This boy who moved into the apartment next to ours," I admitted, picking at my ddeokbokki.

All three boys erupted in "oh"s, wiggling their eyebrows at me suggestively, causing my face to burn even more.

"Minnie has a crush~" Hoseok sang with his crinkly eye smile as he grabbed my shoulders and shook me lightly, causing Namjoon and Jimin to laugh.

"Ani, it's not like that," I grumbled in embarrassment, covering my cheeks with my hands. "Besides, I only met him yesterday."

"Then what is it?" Namjoon asked as he took a bite from his apple.

"Well, I bumped into him in the halls," I began, purposely leaving out the fact that all of my clothes and underwear were knocked out of my arms and spread across the hall for him to see, knowing that that would make them laugh their asses off. "And I introduced myself and tried to be nice and make a good expression, but he was very... Cold. He acted like even having my presence around him was painful."

"Sounds like an ass," Jimin spoke without thinking.

"Don't cuss, little boy. Leave that to the adults," Namjoon said as he flicked him on the forehead. Jimin pouted.

"Is that all?" Hoseok asked after he was done laughing at the face Jimin made.

"No... As he was waiting for his hyung to come out so they could leave together, I heard something in his thoughts that got me really worried," I said, frowning deeply as I stated down at the table.

"What was it?" Jimin asked, suddenly a lot more interested than he was a second ago, just like the other two boys.

"He said, 'I need a cigarette. Maybe if I smoke enough, I'll just stop breathing altogether'," I revealed as I felt the words echo in my head.

"Dark," Namjoon said with widened eyes. The other two boys nodded in agreement with similar looks.

"It was," I agreed. "And I don't know if he fully meant that, but I really wanna find out. The only problem is, like I said, he's a really cold person, so I don't know how I can go about this."

"Why don't you just leave him notes like you did with us?" Jimin asked, looking confused that I hadn't already come to that conclusion.

"This is different," I sighed. "I don't even know what's wrong, or how to figure out what's wrong. And even if I did leave him notes, he has a roommate. What if his roommate picked it up and he never even got it?" I was becoming even more stressed out with each word I said. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.