Dude coming up with a title for this chapter was a bitch. Anyway more flashbacks! Sorry I didn't get this up sooner. I was out shopping all day, ngl. Also, just in case it wasn't clear in the last chapter, Stevie is slowly beginning work on Trouble in Shangri-la. I just don't want you guys thinking I'm making up the lyrics if you haven't heard the album because I'm not that talented and also you should probably listen to it. Also I know you guys are probably all like ugh what's with the flashbacks; but I think it's time that we need them to show us where our couple is today. Also some trigger warning about ectopic pregnancies if that bothers you.
October 1999
Stevie Nicks had always wanted a little girl. Lindsey knew this and he was happy to be able to give her that.
What he did not expect was a colicky infant baby girl. She kept them up at all hours of the night. They took turns sleeping. They had to get a calming sound machine for Max's room just so he could sleep at night. He was probably the most well rested of any of them.
It was Stevie's turn to take over and she groggily made her way down the stairs, but Lindsey waved her off, "she just fell asleep."
"Why don't you put her to bed?" Stevie whispered.
"I'm too afraid to move. What if she wakes up?" He whispered back.
Stevie nods and sat down on the couch with them. She pulled Lindsey gently towards her so he could rest his head in the crook of her neck, where he placed a gentle kiss. She covered the three of them with a blanket and that's how they sleep their night away.
They awake the next morning to a fussing baby, ready to eat, and to Max (who had learned how to climb out of his crib), standing at the top of the stairs yelling for someone to come get him.
Lindsey sat up and handed Lizzie over to her mother before stretching, "I guess I'll get Max considering I don't think I can feed Lizzie."
Stevie laughed, "his oatmeal is in the cupboard and if he's still hungry he can have some Cheerios. I know how you like to go overboard."
"He is a growing boy!" Lindsey said on his way upstairs. He could hear Stevie's laughter and it made him smile.
Stevie sat quietly as her mind floated back to 1974.
July 1974
She was tired. God, she was tired. This was not domestic bliss. This was hell. She worked too many jobs and he didn't work enough.
Once, what seemed like years ago, she had wanted him to stay home and work on his music. She would be the one to go work and bring in the money and that would be enough.
They had some money left from Buckingham Nicks, but they used it to buy a car. Lindsey took it to the studio most days, but he was usually there so late that she had to take the bus home.
She was exhausted; bone weary. Part of her just wanted to go home, and it was tempting when her father offered every time they spoke. She just didn't know if she could do it; if she could leave Lindsey and the life they built together. It wasn't much of a life by any means, but it was theirs and they loved each other like the moon loved the stars.
That had to be enough to help them get by.
October 1999
Once Elizabeth was fed and dressed for the day, Stevie brought her into the kitchen, the sound of Cheerios crunching under her feet.
She made a face and wiped them off, "don't say I didn't warn you, Buckingham."
"I was completely powerless. He looked at me with those puppy dog eyes and said, "cheer-os daddy pease?" And what was I supposed to do. I didn't know he wanted to throw them all over the floor to see if Sulasmith would eat them."
Stevie laughed and handed the baby over to Lindsey. She grabbed a broom and a dust pan to clean up the Cheerios and sat down to feed Max his oatmeal, even when he refused to open his mouth.
Lindsey held Elizabeth close as he watched on, "you are incredible at this." He stated.
"At what?" She asked, not looking up from the task at hand.
Lindsey shrugged, "being a mother. It's like you always know what to do."
Stevie laughed, "I definitely don't always know what I'm doing. Most of the time I just wing it and it turns out okay."
This, Stevie felt, is supposed to be what domesticity should be like. It shouldn't be coming home after a double with a bunch of passed out musicians who had too much weed, too much to drink and got literally nothing done.
Would it be like that again though? If she let him stay, let him be a dad and let him be...whatever the hell they would be; would he be part of their lives or would he be hiding out in the studio all the time?
He has three kids. Those are not responsibilities he can just ignore. It's not as though she was asking for child support. She was just asking him to be there.
He had wanted to be there before. He was so eager it made her heart ache.
July 1974
"Lindsey?" Stevie called out as she entered the house. He came out from the bedroom and smiled when he saw her.
"How's my girl?" He asked, kissing her cheek.
She was trying hard to keep it together but all she could manage was a slight nod, "will you sit down, honey?"
Lindsey sat down on the couch and she sat on the edge next to him. She fiddled with the strap of her purse.
"Sweetheart, are you going to tell me what's going on?"
Stevie nodded and decided to rip the band aid off for both of them, "I'm pregnant."
"What?" Lindsey asked, in case her hadn't heard her right. "That's amazing!" He said, gathering her in his arms.
She clung to his shirt and buried her face in his neck, where she sobbed.
"You're not happy?" He asked, suddenly concerned.
She shook her head, "we can't keep it."
"Yes we can. I'll get a job. I'll do whatever it takes."
"No, Lindsey, money isn't the issue. I have something called an ectopic pregnancy. It's too dangerous for the baby and me," she cried into his shirt.
"So...we can't....we have to..."
She nodded.
Lindsey took a deep (and what he hoped was a calming) breath. "okay Steph. This is going to be hard but we're going to get through it and I will be by your side the entire time."
"Promise?" She asked with a sob.
"I promise. You know I'd follow you to the ends of the earth and back."
Perhaps it was that moment in time that Stevie Nicks knew she'd never find a man who would live up to the bar Lindsey Buckingham had set in her life.
