Exit to the Right ??

Once Hel and Justin had drifted off to tend to whatever tasks on their to-do-list they deemed most pressing, Matis remained behind, hidden from the world like so often lately. But he wasn't alone with his own thoughts. Some words spoken by Justin and Hel echoed in him. It wasn't so much their last sentiment, the hope they expressed that he'd soon feel better. Better how? They'd said it themselves, there was no easy way to walk away from an injury of the kind that he had suffered.

No, there was definitely no easy way for that. All it had taken to rattle him to the very core of his bones – again – had been one look at Ed's body. It had been perfectly untouched except for the big hole in its skull. And as if that had not been enough, large amounts of blood had soaked the sheets on the other side of the bed where a second dead body had been, but had been removed already. If Matis was honest, it had been this empty space drenched in blood that had thrown him off more than anything else.

It had been the blueprint of Matis' nightmares: Justin gone before him, irrevocably, vanished without a trace. Justin who was frightening him with the power of his love, gone while he – well, all he had proven was that he wasn't enough. In any aspect, not enough. And yet, it was he who had been given chances, again and again.

Compared to Ed however, who had shared the experience of a hole in the head with him, Matis had gotten away lightly. Not considering the fact that Ed was decisively dead now, before his leaf had been chopped by Justin he had been destined by others to live on without a brain and without knowledge that something vital had been taken from him.

Whatever had happened to him, Matis never had lost his ability to ponder his situation and make his own decisions. Not until he had riled himself up so much that the rage had killed his internal voice. Leash or no leash, his ability to think and to make informed decisions amounted to a freedom that Matis had always been able to choose to use. Their brain, and more precisely their free will, was the privilege of humans, the crown of their being.

Their curse too. After all, humans with their brains could create their own hell. The ability to remember and to come up with whole worlds filled with pain was the reason why there was no easy way to walk away from the kind of injury that Matis had suffered. Not even choosing permanent death would provide it because human never lived in a complete vacuum. There were always others attached.

What did Matis imagine would happen when the expressed hope for his recovery wouldn't pan out? When his leaf had been dissolved? The least thing was that Hel and Justin would still be alone, fighting on too many spots at once.

Matis caught himself fingering the bracelets again. Nigel's words couldn't be ignored either. What truth could be found in them? Whether he wanted to claim the position and title or not, he was Vlad' son and heir. Matis was the strongest of the Immortals. As such he was an object of desires and fantasies. He couldn't allow himself to become anyone's pawn. Nor would he let anyone get away who tried to put Justin in such a position.

He had also to consider why the witch sought him out twice. It could have been a simple wake-up call, even though a rude one. It could be that he had been hexed. If the witches could create zombies with their power somehow, he could be a danger. Depending on the witches' master and intention the danger would then be directed at the other side. Who did he truly think was the other side? Who did he trust? Trust.

Yes, Matis missed Perdita to talk it through with her. But it wasn't that he only discovered logic once he met her. What he needed to do was to use this brain of his that he still owned, to all their advantage.