Mixed Signals.

Hearing that you're child is seriously ill is heart wrenching. Especially when you are a 3 hour flight away. If there is an emergency I'm a good few hours away and anything could change in a few hours. Jay kept telling me it was fine so I kept in contact with him but I should stay here so I kept with that plan. I stayed here in New York, Florence had been hospitalized for 3 days now and apparently she hadn't woken up yet, she wasn't awake or talking but she was just clinging on. The doctors weren't even sure what was wrong with her.

I sat on the floor of this big empty living room in this lavish hotel in New York and suddenly it hit me how alone I was. I had no-one here with me. I was alone an there was no-one to talk to or be with or see. I was going through old photos from when both the children were little. It had been years since these photos were taken. I mean there were photos there from my labours with both the children.

**

"Come on Florence, you can't go yet. Mummy needs to see you." I whispered holding her hand as I cried. "You've still got fight in you." I kissed her hand and ran little circles on her palm with my thumb.

"Mr Halstead we received the test results."

"Go on? Cancer? Is it cancer?"

"No. Mr Halstead your daughter's heart is failing, the only way we can help is to get her a new heart again but where she is so weak we aren't sure she'll make it through the surgery."

"Oh god no. Please tell me that's it?" I had my hand over my mouth to muffle my crying.

"Unfortunately Mr Halstead, your daughter has a type of cancer in her bones, she needs a bone marrow transplant."

"She needs a heart and bone marrow?"

"Yes. The heart we are working on but the bone marrow is harder, you yourself, family and friends can have a test to see if anyone is a match but the surgery is horrible and will be more painful for the doner. than Florence."

"That's fine, we will begin coming in for tests as soon as possible. Thank you for keeping me updated." I managed a small smile before they left and then I broke down holding onto Florence's hand. She looked so poorly and pale. I felt like a failure. I dialled Erin's phone number and put it on speaker.

"Hello? Jay sweet? Is everything okay?" She coughed as she composed herself.

"Hiya, some stuff's happened. I've got updates on Florence." I sighed.

"Oh okay. How is she?"

"Erin I think you need to get here as soon as possible."

"Can you tell me what's going on and I'll start booking the flight now."

"Erin she's got heart failure and myeloma." I began to cry.

"Myeloma? That's cancer Jay.."

"I know.. we need a heart transplant and bone marrow. This isn't working Erin. We can't lose her." She began to cry as well. "I'm booking a flight back now. I should be back early hours of tonight."

"Okay... I'm so sorry."

"Don't you dare apologise. It's not you're fault. It's no-one's fault. She is poorly and she needs us there so I'll be there."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

***

I booked the flight for 5:45pm tonight. I looked around at my short lived stay here in New York while I began packing my stuff up into the few bags I owned. I found a nice blue dress and some sandals because I knew it was comfortable for a flight. I didn't even bother packing the rest up properly I just threw it all into the bag because at this point I just knew I needed to get home. I packed up all the photos and eventually the hotel room was empty and my bags were by the door. I booked a taxi to pick me up and sat on the bed and rang Kim.