Mixed Signals.

I sat up and looked around the room. I couldn't really see out my right eye properly but my left eye was okay, painful and swollen but it was so very swollen that I couldn't see because it wasn't open properly. I put my hand on my shoulder because it was hurting and I felt that I was wearing a shoulder pressure dressing that went from my shoulder to my elbow. I sat back and just looked at my wedding ring even though my hands were swollen as well. Then I heard the door open and I jumped so I looked up and saw Jay there.

**

She looked like a different person, she was completely purple and green, brown, blues just covered in bruises.

"Jay." She smiled. I went over to her and sat on the edge of her bead. I just smiled and took her hand. "What's going on?"

"I haven't been sentenced to a prison sentence I've just been told I have to serve this full term out with the rangers." I smiled.

"Oh okay.. that's better than nothing. I mean no wait that come out wrong, I'm glad you've received something but at the same time I'd rather you were at home." She sighed. She just looked down like she was a bit scared.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I smiled.

"I know but you can understand why I'm scared? Like I know you won't. I'm sorry I love you.."

"I love you too." I squeezed in her hand gently. She smiled again before laying back and closing her eyes again.

**

Saturday Morning.

Kim took my bags out the boot and put them into the living room. The police tape had literally just been cleared up, my house had just come back from being a crime scene to now being a house again. I took a slow walk into the living room holding my ribs because they were hurting I don't think I should of actually been discharged yet because they said if it was going to help me they would do it and I had physio booked still. I went into the living room to find Jay stood with Kim. I went over to him and he hugged me.

"I'll see you later. Call me if you need me." Kim smiled as she left, Jay hugged me gently, I rested my head against his chest and he stroked my hair gently.

"Where are the children?" I smiled.

"Hank has them for now." He smiled. I nodded and kissed his cheek gently before he went into the kitchen and I went upstairs I just laid in bed, curled up under the quilt, hand resting on bump. I looked at the photo of myself and Jay that sat nicely on my dresser next to my bed. We were both so happy and smiling, I missed things like that. The thing that made it worse was I knew he did what he did because of his PTSD and going back to the rangers would make it worse, he hated himself already, the 4th of July was hard because he couldn't be around the fireworks or anything. Even sometimes work got the better of him and if we were on a gun call he would be a different person or after wards he would end up crying and breaking down in the staff room so it was hard for us all really. But I knew I didn't help, I had a temper on me as well and we both knew I was stubborn but it was because I cared, I care about my children and this pregnancy is putting a lot of stress on us both. Jay's PTSD was really bad and he wasn't very good at calming himself. Like he struggled with different things and he really was not good at being the calm one but when I was stressed out as well I couldn't stay calm. That was the hardest bit we didn't know how to help each other and I think right now when we needed the most help Jay was being sent away.

**

I sat on the floor with all the photos scattered around. We were so happy in them all. I picked the 10 or so photos I was taking and I packed them in the bit of my bag with my notebook and pens. All that was left was packing my clothes and then I was sorted for Monday. Facing Erin was the hardest thing, seeing the injuries I had caused broke me. I went upstairs and knocked on the bedroom door but got no answer so I just went in there, she was fast asleep on the bed, wrapped in the quilt, box of tissues next to her. I smiled and began pulling clothes out of my wardrobe and folding them into piles on the floor. I heard her mumble and then she smiled at me.