Omniscient
The music played softly as keith looked at the gun in front of him.
"Am i really gonna do this?" Keith thought.
Jocelyn Flores ~ Xxxtentation started to play as keith thought about her.
"I know you're somewhere, somewhere
I've been trapped in my mind, girl, just holding on."
Keith started to cry again. Yn was his only source of life left.
Without Yn.. he'd die.
"I don't wanna pretend we're something, we're nothing."
I mean, He barely knew Yn, she was just some girl at his school.
"I've been stuck thinking 'bout her, I can't hold on"
Keith and Yn both suffered major depression. Keith has never gone as far as suicide.. but as for Yn..
"I'm in pain, wanna put ten shots in my brain, I've been trippin' 'bout some things, can't change."
Shes attempted suicide about twice..
"Suicidal, same time I'm tame."
Keith and Yn have talked about suicide but they never went as far as to do it.
Unfortunately, that wasnt the case for Yn.
"Picture this, in bed, get a phone call
Girl that you fucked with killed herself"
Reality hit him hard as he cried even more, Yn had attempted suicide for the 3rd time, and well, 3rd times a charm.
"That was this summer and nobody helped. And ever since then, man, I hate myself."
Keith hated the fact that he could've helped. He could've stopped her.
"Wanna fucking end it. Pessimistic."
Ever since Yn killed herself keith has been moping for days. Hes been off his meds and has been very suicidal.
"All wanna see me with no pot to piss in."
And it doesn't help that Yn's family blames him for Yn's suicide.
"But niggas been excited 'bout the grave I'm diggin'"
Keith has never been so sad in his life. Over a girl he talked to occasionally.
"Havin' conversations 'bout my haste decisions"
Keith always thought out his decisions before taking action. This plab was thought out for years.
"Fuckin' sickenin'; at the same time
Memories surface through the grapevine"
Keith stood up and locked his room door he was about to do it.
"'Bout my uncle playin' with a slip knot
Post-traumatic stress got me fucked up"
Ever since Yn died, all he saw was her. Dreams, Visions, Her ghost. He saw her all the time.
"Been fucked up since the couple months they had a nigga locked up"
Keith rewatched the video as Yn stood on the chair. She kicked it down as the crimson blood fell down her wrist.
Yes Yn made a video, someone left her phone for Keith as he watched the video over and over and over again.
"I'll be feelin' pain, I'll be feelin' pain just to hold on"
He was putting himself through hell, only to remember Yn.
"And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb"
It was so common to be "depressed" now and days, no even notices Keith anymore. Its 2018 whos not "depressed"?
"I'll be feelin' pain, I'll be feelin' pain just to hold on"
"Keith?" His mom knocked. She tried to open the door.
He started to cry more as he loaded the gun and pointed it to his temple.
He was really going to do it.
"And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb."
"Keith! Open the door! I heard the gun let me in! Its ok!" He mom banged. He finger got tighter around the trigger.
Boom. The gun went off.
The door opened as keith dropped the gun as his mom rushed in and hugged him.
He cried in her arms as she put the gun on safety and threw it across the room.
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Rip to X. Ik ik, im hella late but i couldnt listen to his music without crying.
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