The Diary of Existing

TWENTY FIVE

I immediately excused myself from the table and walked out towards the balcony. I closed the sliding door and punched in a call to my father. I waited as the phone just kept ringing and ringing. It felt so long, until finally I heard it pick up. I could hear a loud noise in the background, kind of like he was in a crowd or a party.

"Hello? Alex?" I could hear Alice's voice. I was a bit disappointed, but I should have known that Alice might have answered. If she saw the text she would have probably replied for him. Who knows, maybe she was the one who sent in that text before my flight.

"Hey, is my father there?" I asked and Alice told me she couldn't hear me. She told me to wait as she tried to find a quiet space. And finally, the noise had disappeared.

"There, much better. What were you saying again?" She asked and I sighed. I hate repeating myself.

"I was wondering if my father was there. He hasn't replied to my text, I just got worried." I said, making a lame excuse up.

"I thought he'd reply already to your text." So she read it? "Me and your father won't be joining you and my family for Christmas." Alice finished and I felt my heart dropped.

The trip wasn't just meant for me being away from my mother. But I was also looking forward to spending a family holiday with my father, even if it had meant I had to spend it with Alice too. But now, I'm hearing that they won't be joining us? What about New Year's? Am I ever going to get the chance to spend a holiday with my father?

"Okay. Tell him I said Merry Christmas then." I said and hung up before Alice could butt in. I was just feeling too disappointed to even push further with this. I heard the sliding door open, I turn to see Angel who had a smile on.

"It's cold out here. Come back inside." Angel said and I smiled.

"My father and Alice aren't coming for the holidays." I said and Angel looked at me, as if she could read the disappointment on my face. Which she probably could since I was too exhausted to even hide it.

"I'm sure he just got caught up with something. You should tell Henry so he can tell his dad." Angel said and before she could walk away I called out for her.

I didn't want to think about my sadness, or disappointment for that matter. And I know I would be contradicting myself and proving Dr. Palmer's point of me trying to escape my issues and shed light on someone else's, but in a way, this was related to me. Jacqueline and Morgan are my friends, I deserve to know who Tessa was, what the history between the three are and if Henry wasn't going to tell me then maybe Angel would.

"Who is Tessa?" I just bluntly asked and Angel's posture changed. She wrapped her arms around her and tried to look around. She was uncomfortable and I could tell. Was the information about this Tessa person disturbing? So Angel does know huh?

"I think it's better if you don't ask. Don't mention that name ever, not even to Jacqueline. And especially not to Morgan." Angel warned me but I needed to know. I blocked her off from going back inside. I needed to know.

"Henry already told me that Tessa, Morgan and Jacqueline used to be friends. That Tessa was Jacqueline's best friend and that she befriended Morgan but Jacqueline wasn't happy about it but got over it quickly. Now, tell me what else happened." I said and Angel really didn't want to open her mouth.

"I know Morgan killed someone." I said and Angel looked at me, her face serious and surprised. I bit my lower lip, did she even know?

"Who told you? Because whatever rumor you heard is a lie. And Jacqueline really needs to keep her mouth shut and get over it." Angel's voice was filled with anger. An angry friend, she really was Morgan's friend. It was good to know.