The Diary of Existing

TWENTY SEVEN

I tried my best to get some sleep, but it wasn't working in my favor. My phone conversation with Sarah ended in two hours, and I just laid in bed at 3 in the morning staring at the ceiling. It was a really white ceiling. You couldn't even see dirt, not even a tiny speck. If there was though, it wouldn't be that hard tos spot.

I got up from bed, put on my robe and walked downstairs. It was pretty quiet, the place was quite dark. Faint lighting came from the Christmas tree that was left on. The lights were blue, and I stood in front of if, inhaling in how beautiful something could be. It wasn't even a real tree, mainly because Tom's building did not allow it. But nonetheless, it was beautiful.

I stepped outside to the balcony, and immediately I was greeted with the cold breeze of New York. The city was beautiful and even at 3 in the morning it was shining bright, as if it was a child crying for attention. It was beautiful, almost impossible to miss how everything was just gorgeous. I wondered what it would have been like if I grew up here. If I had lived with my father in New York, yes even with Alice, would it make me a different person? Would my existence in this world just shift?

Hell, why do I even exist now?

"You couldn't sleep either?" I turned to see Wesley standing by the door. He looked rough, like he hadn't slept in a thousand years. I guess I wasn't the only one having a difficult time getting some sleep.

"I just didn't feel like sleeping." I said and he walked over, closing the sliding door behind him. He leaned on the railings and looked at the view. He complimented it the same way I did, and I found myself smiling.

"What's with the smile?" He asked and I immediately dropped it and shook my head. We stood there in silence for a minute. The sound of cars honking from a distance was the only thing we could hear echoing throughout the city.

"Why haven't I met you before?" Wesley asked and I gave him a confused look. I wondered the same thing actually.

"Angel, Morgan and Henry have met you, I was the last one and it took till Christmas for me to even meet you." He commented further. I never knew he existed as well, until now. When they mentioned Henry's friend was going to join us I didn't expect it to be someone like Wesley.

Earlier at dinner we were all talking and Wesley was the topic, considering I never met him before. I got the gist of who he was, his mother was a dermatologist and all that, but they spoke even more highly about him. Even Angel and Morgan complimented him and hyped him up over dinner. They only spoke good things, the positive things. And from remembering how he gave me his coat when we bought food was a clear example of it.

"Well, we know each other now." I said and smiled. He smiled back.

"I don't know you." He said and sat down on the chair next to me.

"I know your name. But that's it." Wesley said and he was right. He only knew my name, and just Alex, not even the full name. I don't even know if Angel and Morgan know it. Henry possibly does since he's apparently known me longer, despite my foggy memories. But was I really willing to share my life story already to someone I had known less than a week?

"Soon you will." I said and just got up and walked back into my room. I didn't look back, wasn't sure if someone as nice as Wesley should know someone with a messed up life like me.

The following morning, Tom had cooked breakfast for all and it was a feast. There was so much food I felt overwhelmed and unsure of what to eat. Angel had stacked her plate high, even taking a second plate and going back three times. Morgan and Henry just had an average amount and Wesley was eating the same as me, not as stacked as Angel's but close enough.