My One & Only (Ashrald)

Chapter 16

         I felt Rach kneel down at my side chuckling as she ruffled my ebony hair. “Awww someone’s angry. But at least you liked th-”

         “OUT!”, shoving her out of my tent but only manage to make her stumble back off her feet. She laid on the floor, with top-half of her body outside the tent, clutching her stomach laughing. I am pretty sure she was laughing not because of my face (I was sure she has not seen my face) but probably because of how I am acting like a child throwing a tantrum right now.

         And to answer Rach’s question before I cut her off… okay I liked it! I liked that darn kiss! But it was just a kiss that happened in a flipping dare. I bet Gerald did not even care about that. It just did not mean anything at all! But why the heck am I thinking too much about the kiss? Why?

         “Rach”, I sighed, really not wanting to remember those nine pairs of eyes looking on me as I walked out of the table. “Please… I don’t really want to talk about it”, I pleaded.

         I heaved myself up, grabbing my pillow back that was at my feet to quickly bury my face on it again.

         I so hated this feeling. Torn. Caught. Dilemma. If I explored more of this, yes I would be happy and all but what if he did not want to? What if he did want to but meant no feelings at all like friends with benefits sort of thing? What if I am just going to end up like one of his girls? What if we got to the point that I would like to take things further but then he was not ready to do so? What if he leaves me again like he used to? A lot of questions but no sure answer. What do I have to do?

         A manic laugh erupted in the tent and I was in no mood to hear Rach’s teasing again. I had my face buried in the pillow but to my annoyance I clutched the corner of the pillow and swung it at her with so much force.

         “GET OUT!”, I screamed but only to be greeted by a different shocked face as the pillow left the person’s face.

         “What the hell!”, Gerald yelled rubbing his face roughly. “What did you that for?”

       I looked at him raking in every detail of his face, finding any traces of awkwardness from what happened a while ago but I could not find any. He sure does look okay with the kiss. I guess it was just nothing to him then.

         I was still searching for any traces on his face but only to find one thing: he sure does look handsome. And that, is an understatement. Such a face can break millions of heart, I thought, yet every time he was close to me, I feel safe and protected. Yet it was scary. The moment you totally depended on him and he was gone, you just feel helpless; like a part of you has been separated from you. And that’s what scares me the most.

         I was so caught up staring at his face that I was not able to make a comeback to his question. “What do you think you’re doing?”, I blurted stumbling on few of my words. I grabbed the pillow off him and quickly laid my head on it.

         I felt him move closer to me. Smirking, he looked down at me hovering his face a bit closer than what I really expected. “What do you mean what I am doing?”

         Oblivious of what position we were in, I pushed Gerald out of my face making him droop beside me. He let out a small chuckle as I flipped to my sides not wanting to see those eyes that make my knees buckle. “Like here. In the tent”, I said putting my hand on my cheek casually to try and cover the small blushes that I could feel were threatening to show up.

         “Oh that”, he chuckled lowly and his sweet sound reverberated in the tent, shaking my inner core. Darn. Why does he have this effect on me? “This is actually my tent. So it should be me asking you that question.”