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In the far distance Jimin notices through the droplets of rain hitting his window the Park Mansion coming into view.
Instead of being filled with a giddy feeling every child perceived when visiting their childhood home he felt nothing, absolutely nothing, no joy, no fear, no sadness, just emptiness.
Between those wide and expensively ornamented walls, under the high ceilings of each room he stepped foot in, he absentmindedly watched nannies, tutors and assistants growl instructions at him...
"Chin up, back straight, shoulders, focus Park"
"What would your father say if he heard you using the wrong tenses in such phrases?"
"Are those brand-less sneakers?"
"Wrong fork Jimin"
"You need to be quick on your feet"
"What do you mean you don't want to learn the waltz?"
All he wanted was to be alone.
The only moment he felt he could be himself was when drained and exhausted he'd close his bedroom door and slip into the darkness that surrounded him.
He used to have these multicolored lights when he was younger, that lit up his entire room, constellations installed onto his ceiling and just out his window he'd watch the stars and the moon and wished he could just...
...Leave.
He'd watch the moon and notice how peaceful and calm it seemed.
"That must be how death feels, unmoving, cold and yet beautifully calm and welcoming" he used to whisper in awe as he stared up at the night sky.
He'd impatiently wait for the voice in his head to manifest, just for a conversation, that was all he wanted, an honest and open conversation.
He didn't want lies, he knew he was young and everyone sugarcoated everything but he wanted the brutal and scary truth about everything and anything and the voice in his head granted his wish every single night.
They'd stare back at each other and Jimin always found it fascinating how much they looked alike, how much they thought alike, how much they were the same...
His loneliness had driven him off the road of sanity and he had grown to accept him in all its forms and sizes.
