Newt x Reader || A13

As he brings his face closer to mine, all I can think about is how I haven't told him yet.

However, I think also of how desperately I want to lean in, to feel his lips on mine, to run my hands through his hair as I kiss him, kiss someone for the first time.

Though perhaps it isn't the first.

The thought snaps me out of my trance.

His lips are so close to mine, I can't pull away. Instead, I reach a finger up between us and press it to his lips, stopping him from nearing further. At first, he doesn't move, every particle of him stilling against my hand.

"Newt.." I start, biting my lip. He's centimetres away; I can feel his warm breath fanning across my face.

"Listen," he says, "I know I've never- done this- before." He breaks the stillness, leaning forward to rests his forehead against mine; his hands still cup my face gently. I almost sigh at the affectionate gesture.

"No- it's not that. I-"

"And I don't know what this is," he continues, voice tinged with uncertainty, "but I feel like I can be myself, like I can be honest about this place- about everything- around you." He finishes. I am stunned into silence. Words refuse to surface from from deep within where my heart beats so loud it thrums in my ears.

The night after I came up in the box, after I learned what this place was, I made a promise to myself; I promised not to trust anyone.

Not Chuck, not Alby, no one.

I thought I kept that promise, but the truth is that I broke that it weeks ago. I broke it the moment he grabbed my arm and told me none of them would ever hurt me.

Because I trusted him.

And not only did I trust him, but something inside shifted; something began, something dangerous and utterly out of place for where we exist right now.

And it's why I need to find a way out- for him.

I'm brought back to reality when he gently traces my cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. I shiver as I meet his eyes.

The silence is unbearably charged.

When he says my name, I can't take it anymore. I release my lip from my front teeth and tell him what I've wanted to for days.

"I want to go into the maze." I blurt. At first he doesn't move, and I allow myself to relax. I'd expected an outburst or at least some chiding words, but instead, he just goes deadly still.

And slowly, my stomach begins churning as I realize that that's even worse.

No reaction. Just stillness.

Finally, he moves.

He takes his hands off of my face and steps back, separating our foreheads and avoiding my eyes.

Bike rises in my throat.

"Please say something." I whisper. Newt doesn't respond, rather stares at me with this blank look in his eyes; it's like he's remembering something terrible, but that can't be.

Finally he exhales. I hold my breath.

"You're making a mistake." He says,
his words more of a whisper, and his voice lined with thick distaste.

"I'm not," I deny him quickly. Too quickly, "It's what's right."

"You think we haven't tried everything?" His voice rises, "we've tried staying in the box when it goes down, we've tried climbing the walls, all of it- we've tried everything. There is no way out!"