Newt x Reader || A13

The sun is just rising over the walls of the glade as I settle upon the rocky outlook I now visit daily. The gladers are still asleep; the gates will open momentarily.

My head still throbs from the revelations of last night's jarring glitch. I'm getting better at controlling the physical pain, but each revived memory takes a heavier toll on my heart. I often wonder how much more I can take.

My memories are coming back now, in glitches, just as Julian said they would. I can't make sense of them cohesively yet, but I'm on the brink of it; just one more push, and eventually I'll teeter over the edge and finally into the knowing, but for the present, there is still an obstinate veil of uncertainty which obscures the truth.

I am caught off guard by the rumbling of the gates. Stone grinds on stone, echo on echo; the gates take a couple minutes to open, and in that time, I watch as two figures dart into the maze at top speed. 

Minho and Alby, by the looks of them. The other runners are nowhere to be seen. 

Perhaps they've given up. I wouldn't blame them, Gabe and Julian, their friends, having both died in the maze. Minho is now the only keeper; perhaps the runners have lost hope. 

I am no stranger to the feeling.

I am wrenched out of my thoughts when, suddenly, there's a rustling in the bushes next to my rocky outcrop, followed by a loud tump.

 "Shuck!" Someone curses loudly, and I stand quickly, reaching out to push aside the foliage. Thomas looks up at me, lying in a bush with a sheepish smile on his face.

"Hey," he winks.

"What are you doing?" I ask, extending my hand to help him up. He grabs it and winces as I pull him to his feet.

"I could ask you the same thing." He nods, looking into the corridor of the maze that's opened up. We are silent for a moment. 

He's here for the same reason I am. 

To watch. To think. 

"Would you believe me if I told you I've been in there?" I gesture towards the maze. He raises his eyebrows and leans forward, towards me.

"For real?" I nod in response. "What's it like? Is there a way out?" I turn and look at him. He has a jarringly familiar look in his eyes; it's one of hope, of futile promises. I wonder, for a moment, if I'm looking into my mirror image.  

"It's dark," I say slowly, "confining." I wring my hands in front of me, "but when I'm in there, it feels more real than anything in here."

Thomas stares for a moment, slowly blinking. 

"Would they let me in? To help find the way out?" He looks on expectantly, and I can't bring myself to tell the truth.

"You'll have to ask the runners and Alby yourself." 

"Never seen him go in before- Alby, I mean." Thomas says, gesturing towards the opening of the maze where Alby and Minho are long gone.

"Me neither." I watch as he opens his mouth to indefinitely ask what he's doing, but his eyes flicker as he realizes that, like him, I am also in the sark. 

We sit in silence for a couple minutes before he stands, reaching out for my hand. I grab it and he pulls me to my feet. 

He stares for a moment longer, eyes unreadable. 

"Are you happy here?"

I am caught off guard. 

I pause, searching for the words. There are little things each day which make me happy- the sunrise over the maze walls, the sizzle of bacon in Fry's kitchen, a crooked smile from a sandy haired boy- but since Julian went over the side of the wall, since haunted memories have begun bombarding me unexpectedly, there's a lead in my heart which I cannot shake despite my best efforts.