Newt x Reader || A13

08 | victim

"Look at me and tell me you believe that." I whisper. He meets my eyes. Whatever affection was cast in them earlier is now gone.

"We've tried, and we've failed. The most we can do is to stay safe here in the glade."

I feel my eyes burn, so I avert them, turning away.

"It's not enough." I say quickly as I turn fully, and I run. He doesn't call out for me.

I run until I can't feel the shame in my cheeks, until I can't feel the throbbing in my boots, until I can't feel the adamant tears running on my cheeks, but most of all, until I can't feel the deep gash he's tearing in me from the inside out.

I thought him before to be a thief, and suppose I truly am the victim, just not in the way I'd imagined.

- - -

"You're sure you want to do this?" He asks. I nod as sternly as I can. I need to do this.

"Positive." I swallow.

"I'm behind you." Julian leans toward me, his forearms resting on the wooden rails of the treehouse.

My thoughts flash to my first night here with him, cryptic messages which still remain unresolved and all.

"I know." I tilt my head up to the night sky. There are never stars in the Glade. Instead, the sky is a black abyss. "You always are." I look at him. The corners of his lips turn up in a tiny smile. He opens his mouth to say something, but then pauses.

"What?" I prompt, at unease with the strange look on his face.

"I just.." he starts, then breaks off again. "Nothing. It's fine." He says, backing up from the railing.

"Don't think I'm letting you off that easily." I tease, grabbing his wrist instinctively. He goes still, looking down at my fingers wrapped around his arm. After a moments' pause, he jerks his wrist free.

"If you're sure, we go to Alby and Minho." He says softly, a little apologetic.

I nod.

"Then let's go."

- - -

Later, we stand in the homestead within the meeting room beneath the living hammocks.

Julian remains by my side as we face the centre of the room. Select job leaders surround us, Minho on the left with two other runner. Alby sits in front of us.

Newt came in late, without a word. He simply made his way over to his usual pole, and silently leaned against it, eyes trained at the floor.

I look sideways at Julian, and he meets my eyes with his grey ones, subsequently giving a small nod.

"I have a proposal." I say to the room. At this, I feel a hand on my wrist. My attention snaps to Julian, who's leaning towards me.

"Are you sure?" He whispers into my ear, close. I look up at him; his eyes are narrowed in worry.

"Yes." I whisper back. When I look up, Newt has finally decided that the ground isn't interesting to stare at any longer because now he's glaring at me- no, not me. Julian.

I look away.

"I'm sorry for calling this meeting so abruptly," I start, "but I just wanted to say something- and ask permission for it, actually." I look at Alby. His face is as emotionless and unyielding as Newt's.

"Go on."

"I know what's out there. I've known for a long time." I say.

A pause.

"What's your point? It's common knowledge." Alby says, "We tell all the Gladers. In time."

"I mean I know what's been happening out there." Alby doesn't move. "The-"

Julian silences me by putting his hand on my arm. Alby leans forward.

"How?"

I don't risk a side glance at Julian, deciding completely ignoring his question is the best course of action.

"I want you to let me into the maze, Alby." Suddenly the room grows silent. Nobody moves. Nobody makes a sound.

"If it's a maze, there's got to be a way out, wether it be a hidden passage, a complicated algorithm, or simply a passage you've just missed every time you've mapped. I think-"

"What makes you so different from everyone here?" Alby finally says.

"I'm not." Everyone is silent now. Everyone is listening. "The rules were made to keep us safe. If I'm endangering myself, what concern is that to you?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Newt's head snap up towards me, his gaze boring into me. I avoid it.

Suddenly, one of the Track-hoes pounds their fist on the table.

"Each of us know there's a maze out there. It's pretty common knowledge."

"But you've never experienced it for yourself." Julian cuts in from next to me. I look over at him. His jaw is set, and his grey eyes are hooded.

"That's ridiculous. Why should we break the laws just so that greenie here can have a field trip into the maze?" Gally protests from the corner of the room. I bite my lip.

"Yeah!"

"Lock her up!" Catcalls sound from all around the room. I don't step down; I just grit my teeth and look at Alby.

"You get one day." He finally says. I breathe. The room goes silent yet again. One day is nothing, one day is not enough.

I begin to protest, but Julian surprises me by grabbing my hand quickly and squeezing once. I don't look at him, but I stop talking, heat rushing to my cheeks once I sneak a glance at Newt to see him glaring again.

"Thank you, Alby." Julian says. Alby turns to Newt, and I swallow.

"Second in command, objections?" Everyone turns to Newt. I stare, watching his brown eyes sweep from the floor to mine. For the briefest of seconds, our eyes meet, and I see an unmistakable sadness within, but the moment swiftly passes, and he looks at Alby. I see a muscle in his jaw twitch before finally he scoffs and shakes his head.

"Not that you'd change your mind." He says coldly and swiftly exits the room, leaving the door open. I hear everyone breathe. I hear everything, though the pounding in my ears is most prominent.

"You leave tomorrow morning at first light." Alby says, breaking the silence, "Accompanied by Julian and company."

"Okay." Julian takes his hand away, but puts it on the small of my back, guiding me out. I take a breath once we're outside before pulling back and giving him a weak smile.

In the distance, the maze gates beckon to me.

The twisted labyrinth awaits.