Promise to Sirius (An Utapri / Uta no Prince-sama Fanfiction)

Ai Mikaze

The rain, the flowers, the leaves. Numbers, words, and even time... They all wish to convey something and do so in a way that nothing else can, like how the rain dribbles down the sky in the place of tears and time fades by never to be retrieved. They know what they can convey and what they want to convey.

His fingers were motionless on the keyboard of his laptop.

The question is... what do I want to convey? And can I... will I be able to convey it right?

Ai was currently in the living room of the apartment, seated comfortably on the right end of the sofa that was simultaneously his bed, the left end containing a fluffy white pillow and the penguin plushie from Natsuki, Pina, propped above his neatly-folded lavender-and-blue quilt. His laptop was leaned against his thighs and with a quiet sigh, he peered from above the sofa at the glass window behind which countless raindrops were cascading down the ash-grey sky like a waterfall of tears that could no longer be held. It was a Thursday afternoon and almost a week ever since the live where Natsuki opened up about his struggles to the fans and sang the ballad version of "Orion de Shout Out." After a hectic morning of interviews and guest appearances, all five of them had the afternoon all to themselves and took the opportunity to get much-needed time away from the public eye before evening came and they had to star in a TV show. Camus had disappeared into his room with a mystery novel and a cup of hot chamomile tea and not come out ever since, while Ranmaru had fallen asleep on his sofa mere moments after showering. Natsuki and Reiji were currently outside buying bubble tea and dinner for everyone, while Ai was working on his solo song.

Or attempting to, at the very least.

His eyes lowered themselves to the laptop screen, quietly staring at the blank word document and the motionless white cursor.

He had not been at all successful for the past 2 hours, 11 minutes and 54 seconds.

Why... am I struggling this much?

During lunch at a hot pot place 17 minutes from the apartment, before the rain even started, the five of them had talked about their respective progresses of their solo songs for the STARISH X QUARTET NIGHT project. Natsuki was nearly finished and all that he had to do was finalize the lyrics, whereas Reiji had decided on a more mature and serious theme in contrast to his normally-energetic and light-hearted songs. Camus, Ranmaru and Ai, on the other hand, had yet to even confirm what they wanted to sing about despite the fact that the STARISH X QUARTET NIGHT project was nearing its halfway mark. And at this very moment, despite having 100% concentration on his work, the word document before Ai's very eyes remained blank with words that had been typed only to be deleted mere moments later, a blunt indication of 0 progress.

For a few brief moments, he allowed his focus to shift over to Ranmaru, whose body was spread across the length of the red sofa and under a thick maroon quilt, his normally-standoffish expression now shrouded with a serenity that was almost never associated with the rocker when his eyes were open. Ai quietly observed as Ranmaru's chest rose and fell in a slow, constant motion, the latter's head moving slightly on the pillow, his lips mumbling something inaudible. He was honestly puzzled as to how relaxed Ranmaru could be despite the deadline and having no progress on his solo song. The same applied to Camus. Ai turned to face the door to Camus' bedroom, from which no trace of sound could be heard. Ai was at a complete loss as to what to do - he was not at all accustomed to this severe lack of inefficiency. He was created to be of use, not to be stuck at what he should be able to handle without any stumbles or falters. And yet as he reminded himself of his purpose and what he was supposed to be capable of...

Quietly, he placed a hand over the left side of his soundless chest, concentrating on what had come uninvited.

... something about it... hurt.