repeat.

I've been over this for a thousand time,
but I'm still dreaming of situations that might never come alive.
I'm ghosting around the sweet memories of your arms.
I'm still living in the past.
And I'm putting up things built to fall apart.

So I threw away my crown.
Built up my broken palace and I lived in the ruins all safe and sound.
Because in the end love and friends never stuck around;
because a betrayal of one's own self dragged me down.

The mirror on the wall, showed me someone I didn't like at all.
Someone so broken, yet so strong.
Trying to hide his scars and someone trying to escape reality for too long.

So, I lied to myself everyday.
Crossing my fingers and planning my fate, holding back my tears whenever I dealt with hate;
because holding onto something looked so real, it looked so great.
But in the end it felt too wrong, it felt too late.

With love making me blind, the recorded voices echo in my mind;
reminding me of my mistakes, sins and regrets.
But maybe in the end some words are better left unsaid.

So I broke the mirror and shattered the glass everywhere.
For the lies to be turned into moths.
For the truth to be turned into flame,
and all this just to recover from the severe pain.

I never saw the perfect mess again.
His brokenness and his strength all blew away.
Yet his scars still remained.

So I lost myself in overthinking,
as I felt my soul sinking,
as I felt my heart racing;
I saw the flame burn out so I set myself off to reality with unsettling doubts.
Because growing up looked so real, it looked so great.
But in the end it felt too wrong, it felt too late.

When the scars still remained.
When the unsettling doubts drove me insane.
When I met with reality face to face.
When the pain didn't turn away.
Because in the end when nothing went straight enough to be great.
It felt too wrong it felt too late.