Akin Ka Lang

Chapter 18

"Nagsimula akong tanongin ang sarili ko. Maraming tanong ang nagsisilabasan sa mura kong edad gaya ng may nagawa ba akong kasalan kaya ipinamigay na lang ako? Di na ba nila ako mahal kaya di nila ako kinukuha kay lolo? So many questions that don't have answers but my naive self thought that if I'd be a good girl baka sakaling balikan at kunin na nila ako. So I worked and studied hard to gain my parents attention lalo na't may pinanghahawakan akong nag-iwan ng isang pangako."

Napangiti ako but I know my eyes don't show it only coldness is in it, as my own heart that is numb already started to feel again ay nagsisimula na namang tumigas.

But I don't want that, ayaw kong bumalik sa dating ako. I want to live for my own and not for others.

"But the sad thing is walang pangakong di napapako so I'm telling you... if must beg I'll beg... tama na, don't take away what I only have for you... don't take away my respect sa inyo..." napahinga ako ng malalim at tiningnan sila sa kanilang mga mata.

"Dahil kung pati yon aalisin nyo rin..." napangiti ako ng mapait. "Baka ni isang katiting emosyon meron ako sa inyo... pagkasuklam man o galit ay baka ipagkait ko na rin sa inyo, dahil ayaw kong mag-aksaya ng mumunting galit o muhi sa mga estrangherong taong dumaan sa buhay ko."

#######

Napamulat ako ng maramdaman kong may palad na nakadapo sa mukha ko.

"Do I deserve this pain? Ginawa ko naman lahat..."

"Shhh... I don't know what you're going through but I know this much... di mo deserve ang umiyak ng ganito."

"Huh?"

Ngumiti lang sya sa akin at pinunasan ang luha ko na ngayon ko lang naramdaman.

"We've only known each other for a short time but I'll be here for you as your friend Sven."

Sa sinabi nyang yon gumaan ang pakiramdam ko kahit papaano at laking pasalamat ko ito sa kanya dahil kahit nagkataon lang na narito sya she is here para damayan ako even though wala syang alam bakit ako naririto sa labas malapit sa plaza ng dis-oras ng gabi.

"Thank you Noreen..." pabulong kong sabi at napayakap sa kanya. "At aasahan ko yang binitawan mong salita."

NOREEN's POV

We had a family dinner sa labas with some of my cousins on my father's side this evening.

As you all know my father is an American who remarried a Filipino woman kaya inanyayahan kami ni dad na sa labas kumain para magkabonding daw kaming magpipinsan who just arrived here in the Philippines two days ago.

After the dinner we went home on a seperate car sa parents ko.

Me and my two cousins, Diane and Kylie, were having a catching up conversition tungkol sa mga buhay namin this past few months when I suddenly caught a glimps of a familiar figure.

"Manong, pakitabi po malapit sa taong yon." Bigla kong sabi.

"Do you know who that person is?" Kylie asked.

"Hmm... kind of... she's a friend of mine." Sagot ko.

"Kind of? That person is important to you if just want to stop and talk to her a bit." Sabi sa akin ni Diane.

"Yeah... and we know you, you won't just stop by even that person you saw is friend of yours. Must be one hell of-"

"Mga sira! No, really, she's a friend and I owe her big time. I'll tell you about it later."

Ibinaba ko ang bintana ng car namin and called Sven yet she seems to not heard me.

"Sven!" I tried again but nakatingala lang sya sa langit.