Finding Myself

I frantically knock on Riley's door and the person who answers is not who I expected.

Riley's dad stares at me in shock as the tears rolls down my cheeks and I try to hold in my sobs. "Riley!" He yells at the top of his lungs.

I can't help it anymore, my knees start to buckle and I'm about to drop to the ground. Luckily, Riley's dad grabs me before I hit the ground and he holds me as Riley and her mom come running over.

"Oh my god, Quinn. What's wrong? What happened?" Riley asks frantically as she helps her dad carry me into their house.

I try to explain what happened, but I can't. As soon as they sit me down on the couch I grab Riley's arm and she sits down with me. She wraps my arms around her and I lose control. I start weeping into her shoulder as she hugs me tight.

"Quinn, sweetie, you need to tell us what happened. It's very important," I hear Riley's mom say to me, but I refuse to say anything. My hold on Riley gets tighter, I don't want to let go of her.

"Quinn, please say something, we don't want to see you in so much pain," Riley's dad adds.

Their concern just makes me cry harder because in this moment I'm comparing them to my parents. Instead of yelling at me like my mom and dad, they are worried and trying to fix the situation. It feels awful to think that this could have been my parents, but they had a much different reaction. I just want this painful feeling to go away. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

"I think the most important question is why are you wet, Quinn? You're sort of getting my shirt damp and the slight breeze coming through the window is chilly," Riley comments out of the blue.

I freeze in shock at her comment and I'm pretty sure her parents did as well. The silence overwhelms us for a few seconds before I start grinning. Before I know I start chuckling and I pull away to look at Riley in disbelief.

"That's the first thing that came to mind?" I ask.

Riley gives me a sheepish smile and replies with, "I'm not great at comforting people."

I give her a small smile and reply, "Yeah, I can see." I start to smile widely and soon enough I start laughing along with Riley.

"What the hell is happening here? Did I miss something?" Riley's dad speaks up.

"Hush," Riley's mom replies to him then she faces me. "Quinn I don't want to push you, but its is very important that we know what happened. We are here for you, no matter what."

I hesitate before deciding that I should probably explain everything to them. They must be thinking of the worst things right now.

"I had a horrible fight with my parents......and I sort of ran put because I couldn't take it anymore," I begin but take a breath because I'm starting to tremble again. Riley grabs my hand and starts to lightly trace a circle into my palm to calm me down.

"Well I think everything is going to be okay, Quinn. All parents fight with their children, it's life. They will get over it and so will you, everything will be back to normal in no time," Riley's dad comments.

"I don't think that's going to happen now. This fight was much worse than anything un the past....you see, this fight was very personal for both parties..." I stop to catch my breath again so that I don't start sobbing. Riley gives me a reassuring squeeze and I try to continue the conversation. "They aren't very happy with me. They are really disappointed with me."

"Disappointed!? Why the hell would they feel that way? You're the opposite of disappointing. You're incredible!" Riley blurts out making us all stare at her in shock. Riley widens her eyes and her cheeks get flushed. "I'm sorry for interrupting, carry on!"

I smirk at Riley and then focus on her parents so that I can continue explaining things to them. "The reason they are disappointed is because...it's because...well you see. The thing is that I'm...I think. Well no, I know for a fact that I'm..." for fucks sake I can't get it out. This is so stupid. I cover my face with my hands, I can't bare to look at any of them in the eye right now.

"It's okay, Quinn. You can tell us anything. We are here for you," Riley whispers to me as she wraps an arm around my shoulders.

I take another deep breath and spit out, "I'm gay!" After, I brace myself for another slap and close my eyes expecting it to happen any second, but it never comes.

I open one eye and funs them all grinning at me. "Why isn't anyone saying anything bad?"

"Sweetie, we don't care that you are gay. You're still you and the three of us will continue to care for you the same," comments Riley's mom.

"You guy's aren't upset at all?" I ask.

"Well, of course I'm not. You're my best friend and I already knew," replies Riley which makes me roll my eyes at her as her parents chuckle.

"It would be absurd to be upset over something that you have no control over," add Riley's dad.

Their kind words make me tear up again. I'm an emotional mess and I can't help it. "Come here, Q," Riley says as she pulls me in for a hug. Then her parents hug us tightly and my heart starts to hurt less.

Life won't always be bad. Even though there are some people out there who won't understand, there will be plenty of people who will accept you as you are. These lovely people are the ones who really matter. They are the ones we should keep close and never let go.

However, people can always change. We learn and grow everyday. Riley has taught me that, she's taught me you can never judge someone before giving them a chance. So despite how badly things went with my parents, I'm not giving up on hope. Maybe one day they will begin to understand me. For now, I will be strong and accept myself because that's what matters the most.

Despite all that, I really don't want to go home now. I just want to stay here a bit longer. "Can I stay for the night, please."

"Well we actually need to talk to your parents about that. I know you guys aren't on good terms now, but they are still your parents and we need permission to have you stay with us today," Riley's mom explains.

"Don't worry, I'll sweet talk them into saying yes," Riley's dad jokes. Now I know for sure where Riley gets her humor from. It's adorable.

Riley's mom chuckles before saying, "We'll talk to them and try to diffuse the situation. Can you give us their number?"

I nod and write my mom's number on a piece of paper that they hand me. Both of Riley's parents head to their backyard to call my parents while Riley and I stay inside. I glance at her and she gives me a reassuring smile. "It will be okay. And no matter what, I'll be by your side. I promise," she whispers.

I grab her hand and intertwine our fingers before laying my head on her shoulder. The close contact with her makes me feel so much better already. It's like Riley is my light, I can't help but be warm and happy around her.

Regardless of how today started, it's going better now. I just hope that Riley's parents can convince mine to let me stay here for just one day. That's all I need. One day away to heal before going back home to face everything. I just need one day with the girl I love.

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Author note: I loved writing this chapter. I hope you guys liked reading it.

I'm officially done with finals and I'm so happy! I did good on all my tests and I get to rest for a few weeks before starting my summer classes.

Does anyone want study tips? I can make a video on the things that really helped me.

If you made it this far, I'm thinking of doing a live stream on youtube one of these days because I would love to talk to you guys about anything. If you would be into watching and engaging in that, please comment here.

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