Finding Myself

The second I walked out to the front of the school I spotted my parents. I stood there frozen as Mason turned to me to figure out why I had turned pale.

I didn't dare try to explain. I was still trying to figure out why my parents would be here. I haven't seen them since the day I left the house, but the school probably called them and notified them of what happened today with Joshua.

My parents walked closer to me and and I told Mason that I needed to talk to them. He said he would wait by in the corner to take me to the hospital after to see Riley. He never seizes to amaze me, he is a wonderful man. He can also be very insightful, he could tell how nervous I was and he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before walking away. I'm sad that he's no longer standing next to me, but I'm glad he isn't too far away. If anything goes wrong I can yell for him and I know he would be by my side in a few seconds to help me.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" My mom asks before she jogs over to hug me. This isn't the reaction I was expecting at all. It was so sudden and completely took my by surprise that I didn't know how to react to the hug. I didn't wrap my arms around her like I normally would, I left my hands at my side and I think my mom got the idea that I was still hurt. She let go and called my father over. Unlike my mom, he doesn't jog, he walks closer. He stays a few feet away, but my mom grabs his arm to pull him closer.

"The school called. Your father and I came as fast as possible," my mom explains. "Are you okay? We know a fight happened and someone got injured, but we werent sure who got hurt. We were worried about you."

"I'm okay. I didn't get hurt. My girlfr...... Riley got hurt. She was pushed and hit her head very hard. She's at the hospital now," I respond. I'm slight trembling for almost telling them that Riley is my girlfriend, but I think they caught on because my father looks displeased with me. My mother also refuses to look at me, she is intent on staring at the ground.

"Look, if you came to check on me im fine, okay. You guys can go home now, but I'm going to go see Riley," I say coldly before turing to leave.

However, my mom grabs my hand to prevent me from leaving. "Please, Quinn. Please wait."

I stop trying to leave and I turn around. Yet I don't face them, I look to my left and keep my jaw and hands clenched. "Quinn, we are trying, okay. We are trying to understand because we miss you so much. It's hard though. It's hard when you go your whole life Epping your daughter to be one way and then all of a sudden your wrong about who your daughter really is."

"What are you talking about? I'm the same person I have always been. Being gay isn't a personality trait! It's simply a preference in what gender I like, that's all. I'm not a different person, I'm still your daughter," I yell.

"You don't understand. You don't know what it's like for us. We had always envisioned how your future would be like and now you're taking that away from us," my father finally speaks up.

"Me taking something away from you? How? By being me? By being free? By loving who I want? The way you guys are acting is taking something away from me. It's taking away my happiness and my courage to be me. Don't you see i can't change this. It's how I was born. It's not my fault that you made up a fairytale in your head without asking me how I felt. You two always make plans for my life without telling me and I'm suck of it. All you guys do is teach me to be ashamed for not being the best. I'm tired of it. I don't want to be the best! I just want to be happy! I don't want to hide anymore and live in fear. I want to be me!" I reply exhausted. I've used up so much of the energy I had left today for this speech and now I feel exhausted. I'm so tired of going through these feelings. I couldn't help but lash out and tell them these things.

"Whether you like it or not, I'm gay. And I'm in love with a girl. Im in love with Riley and that will never change," I suddenly add. Im too lost in the moment that I completely forget that Mason is nearby. I glance over to him to see how he would react because I never intended to say those things out loud. I don't want to hurt him. However, instead of Mason being angry or upset he is smiling at me. That small smile is enough to give me all the courage in the world as I face my parents who are looking at me in shock.

"I'm sorry, but I need to go now. I need to see the girl I love," I add before leaving them there to walk over to Mason. Maybe it wasn't the beat idea to leave my parents, but I had nothing more to say. I don't want to hear their points of views, I've been listening to them all my life. It's time they listen to me and understand how I feel. They need to attempt to understand my view and get that im not changing. I hope they begin to understand.

Mason doesn't say a word, we just walk alongside each other when heading towards his car. I think he knows that I need to process what just happened and im grateful for him not saying anything right now. We make it to his car and get in and ride in silence to the hospital. Once we park, I wait for a few seconds before turning to Mason who turns to face me as well.

Before I can thank him for everything he has done today, he says, "I hope I can be as brave as you one day."

"What are you talking about? You're the one who defended me against Joshua. You're the one who was ready to fight for what's right. You're the most courageous person I know, Mason."

He smiles before replying with, "I would have never realized the person I was without you. Whether you accept it or not, you changed my life and Riley's. You changed how we see the world and gave us the courage to fight for a real love and to not care what other people expect from us. You taught me to put myself first and you taught Riley what it's like to really be in love..."

I don't let him finish before I start sobbing. I didn't expect this, but I just couldn't hold in all these emotions. I'm scared about how Joshua reacted today and with him trying to get everyone to turn against me. It's scary to think there are horrible people like him in the world. It was also too much to see Riley losing blood. I never wanted her to get hurt and I know what happened today is going to affect her a lot. Not to mention I had to see my parents today. It hurts that they still don't accept me.

Mason softens his expression and leans over to hug me tightly. He lets me cry in his shoulder and repeats, "It's going to be okay. Riley, her parents, and I are here for you. It will be okay."

Mason lets me cry out all my frustrations and eventually I stop. I apologize for his damp shirt from my tears. He says it's okay though and adds, "Want to go see Riley now?"

"Yes," I laugh along with him. Then we get out of the car and walk into the hospital.