me and alejandro are cuddling when jackson and everyone gets home. he comes in my room.
jax : hey, ro, can i talk to you real fast.
alejandro leaves the room and goes downstairs with his sister. jackson sits on my bed.
me : what's up?
jax : so..i see you and alejandro are getting a little close. but don't you think it's a little fast? you like literally just met him. with mattia you waited so long. and also, what about mattia? i thought he was the one you wanted.
me : yes, me and alejandro are dating. and you probably don't remember this because i never brought him over when you were home, but alejandro and i dated. we broke up because of...issues. but i'm happily back together with him now. and mattia hasn't been in contact with me for weeks. i don't think he even has feelings for me anymore. he didn't even tell me happy birthday, jax.
jax : i'm sorry, roro. i know it's painful. but i don't think you should give up on him this fast. what if he can't get in touch with you?
me : i don't know.
jax : just promise me one thing. give mattia another chance if he comes back to you.
he pats me on the shoulder and goes back to the living room and alejandro comes back in my room.
alejandro : i gotta go, but i'll miss you darling.
me : i'll miss you too.
i give him a hug and a kiss and he leaves.
i sit back down on my bed and think to myself about everything.
does mattia have feelings for me still? is it a good idea to be with alejandro again? is it all worth it? am i worth it?
i start balling, getting stuck on that last question. am i worth it?
then emmie walks in my room. she sees me crying, runs over to me, sits on my bed, and hugs me.
em : ro, what's wrong?
me : am i worth it? am i enough?
em : what are you talking about? of course you are!
me : then why would mattia do this? why would he avoid me like this? just when i thought things were going great with him, he starts avoiding me. just like alejandro did except mattia's doing it for longer. em, mattia is really hurting me.
em : rowan, i understand that you're in pain. but that doesn't mean you have to question your worth. you are an amazing, kind, beautiful person with a huge heart. anyone who doesn't think so is literally an idiot. but you also have to think about it. kayla is very hard on mattia and you know that. if mattia can't contact you, then it's different than him ignoring you. you really meant a lot to him, ro. this isn't something he would do on purpose.
i sit up a little shocked because she has a point.
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