Finally, after what seemed like hours, you got up. Your legs were shaky, and your face was a mess, but you managed. In the time you had... gotten acquainted with the floor, nobody had bothered you. The silence was deafening.
"Queen Y/N." you shakily smiled at the servant, making your way to Kyoka's room down the hall.
"Could you-" you placed your arm on your handmaiden's shoulder, interrupting her conversation with Shoto. "You wouldn't mind if I borrowed Kyoka, would you, my dear step-son?"
"What were you talking about?"
"Nothing."
"Hmm, it didn't sound like nothing. Come on, you can tell me." you looked up at her, giving her your best attempt at puppy dog eyes. She sighed loudly, giving you an annoyed look. "He just said that he heard you crying earlier. So did the entire palace, though. You were loud."
"You know, normally I'd be panicked, but I don't think I have the energy to be right now." you went back to looking at your nails. "We only heard yelling. The walls are thick, nobody could really understand what you were saying."
"Good. That means we can make up a lie if anyone asks. Sorry you had to hear it, though."
"I am too. What were you even yelling about, anyway?"
"I told him I didn't wanna have his kids, he told me that it was a requirement and that my feelings didn't matter. You know, just your basic misogynistic sentiments." you rolled over, placing your head in your friend's lap.
It felt like a weird realization was waiting to crash over you, but it just wasn't. Like, you had some revelation on the tip of your tongue, but it just didn't come to you. It made you mad, but no matter how hard you thought, it just wouldn't hit you.
You and Enji slept in separate rooms that night. You were with Kyoka, and he was in your room. Luckily, she wasn't tired, and you had been able to sneak out into the bar you were at last time.
"Kyoka, what's the point?" you slurred, waving your drink around, the alcohol splashing on your wrist. "I'm gonna have to have his kid anyway. Momo doesn't love me back. I have no allies in the upper class. My own parents pretty much disowned me. I have nothing to live for, so what's the point?"
You had rendered her speechless. Your handmaiden, a quick-witted genius of a woman, was speechless. Her mouth opened, and then closed again.
God, she was so pretty. Who gave her the right to be that pretty? And she was just wonderful. She was perfect, one kiss couldn't hurt, could it? She liked you back, right? Even if she didn't, you would have your kiss, and you would be satisfied.
You moved forward, putting your drink down. Kyoka was still stunned, and she didn't know what you were doing. Your hands moved to tangle in her hair, and then you were slamming your lips onto hers.
The kiss was magic. Literally. It wasn't like when you had to kiss Enji. No, this was fireworks. There were fireworks appearing behind your eyes. It was pure euphoria, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
Her hands ghosted over your neck and shoulders before coming to rest on your hips. From your position, you realized that she smelled like orange blossoms. It was lovely. She was lovely. The kiss was lovely.
It seemed to last forever, and then she was pulling away. "No, no. You're drunk." she breathed heavily, handing the bartender a gold coin. She pulled you up out of your seat, throwing your arm over her shoulders. "You don't like me. Don't do that, Y/N. I can't handle it."
She started to walk, helping you onto the horse you had stolen when you had gone out. "I'm not drunk. I like-" you tried to protest, but she was humming too loudly, probably trying to drown out your words. "Kyoka, please, let me explain-"
"It's not real. It's not real." she whispered, pulling on the reins. "Y/N, you don't get to do this. You're in love with Momo, not me." your heart heart, and you reached out to touch her shoulder, but she slapped your hand away.
"Why me?" her voice was small, yet it held so much pain. "Kyoka, I-"
"No. We're here. Come on, we gotta sneak past everyone." she helped you off the horse, not even bothering to take it back to the stables as she walked you back inside. She helped you onto her bed, still whispering to herself.
"You take the bed. I got the floor." and that was that. You fell asleep, an empty feeling blossoming in your chest.
so i accidentally licked my phone charger and now i can't taste anything. please send help
