Fatal Flaws

chapter 15

"Aren't you clever" he pouts, obviously not expecting that.

"Here's your shirt smart ass," I mumble, bending down, grabbing his shirt, and wadding it up into a ball. I try to be slick, tossing it at his head, but he catches it in the air before it can hit him. Unwading it, he shakes the wrinkles out before putting it on.

"Well, I guess I need to get going. I have a lot to do today, and it won't get done if I don't. Besides you're not very pleasant in the mornings, pretty grouchy actually" he says, bending over to slide his slides on. "What you know I'm right" he smiles, standing and walking toward me.

"Boy, shut up. I am not grouchy in the morning unless I have a reason to be" I hint, giving him a quick jab with my elbow. Pretending to be injured, he snaps up, grabbing my arm before I have a chance to hit him again. I inhale sharply, biting down on my lower lip.

"Do you know how sexy you look when you do that? It drives me crazy" he purrs, bringing me towards him, wrapping his muscular arms around me from behind. I lean into him as he shifts his hips, grinding against me.

"Too bad someone has to be in such a bad mood. Or we could've had some fun," he coos. Once again, kissing my neck. "But since I'm leaving I guess I'll be seeing you around then," he whines, spinning me around. His lips crash against mine. I notice he still tastes sweet even when he first wakes up. The moment his lips leave mine, I feel empty. My body pines for him, watching him gather his belongings. I know he has to go, but I don't want him to. 

Plopping down on the bed, I watch him walk to the door, nodding in my direction, before leaving.  I take a deep breath, leaning back against the wall for support. Finally, being alone, I'm able to gather my thoughts. What was I thinking? I can't keep doing this. It's wrong. Skylar is my best friend here. My only friend, unless you count Hope. And something tells me she wouldn't have much to do with me if it wasn't for Sky. I mean, I know it's not going anywhere with Hayden. For one, he's a man whore and I'm not going to be another notch on his belt. I can't be mad about that though. I used to be the same way. Sometimes I would wake up the next morning not even knowing the guy's name lying beside me. For two, neither of us has even mentioned liking the other one, unless you count my sexual fantasies. We don't even know each other. Neither of us has made any attempt to learn about the other. The only thing he knows about me is my nickname. And that I'm some easy girl who has weird night terrors.

After last night I doubt he even wants me sexually. I think my sexual urges might only be one-sided.  Who knows, maybe he's acting out of pity for me. He probably thinks I'm too damaged and scarred for anyone else to want me. He wouldn't be the first guy that's done that, sleeping with me because they felt sorry.

And the third reason is because I'm here to better myself. To turn my life around. Which does not include having a hidden sexual relationship with my roommate's brother.Not to mention the fact my mom would kill me if she knew I was slipping into old habits. I've hurt her so much in the past. It's no wonder she was eager to get rid of me. Being gone, I'm one less thing she has to worry about.

Hayden definitely wouldn't fit into one of her categories. She would never classify him as suitable. His tattoos alone would drive her away. She doesn't believe in marking your body with ink or piercings. She had a heart attack when I got my ears pierced. My dad took me for my twelfth birthday without telling her. She's still probably not over that. Now that I'm thinking about it, none of the guys I've dated were up to her standards. Except if you count Zane, and that's still a long stretch.

I don't know why I do these things to myself. It's almost like I'm used to failing, so I automatically set myself up for it. Maybe my old therapist was right when she diagnosed me with self-sabotaging behaviors. It's one of the many perks that come along with being Bipolar. I need to find something to distract myself with before I go nuts.