Fatal Flaws

chapter 40

I can't help but laugh at him. "Boy, shut up. You sound like a crazy person. Did you hit your head a little too hard on the wall?" I tease, coming up for air, My fingers tapping him on the temple.

"It's a great idea. Neither of us wants to deal with roommates. It will be ours. We can do whatever we want whenever. And I put money on it that your mom will flip," he smiles, biting his bottom lip.

"Quit talking, and fuck me," I demand, assisting him inside of me. Rocking my hips back and forth, his body matches each stroke. His hands remain on my hips, guiding them. Arching back away from him allows me to watch him thrusting in and out. His cock is already glistening from my juices. You can hear how wet I am with each move.

Coming back closer toward him, he nibbles on my neck. His touch ignites my body. Bringing my hands to rest on his shoulders gives me more leverage. He moans as my body bounces against him, up and down. The harder I bounce, the tighter his grip on my hips becomes. This was exactly what I needed, a quickie to clear my mind. I enjoy having passionate, meaningful sex that can last hours. But sometimes a fast-paced rough session does the same trick.

I continue slamming my hips down on him repeatedly. Each time faster and faster, until both of us release together. Instantly, my entire body goes limp, collapsing onto him. We both sit silently, naked, panting. He would never admit it, but he needed that, too.

"Am I allowed to speak yet, since you got your fix?" he asks, destroying the peace.

"Hayden, be serious for one minute, okay? We can't move in together for multiple reasons. For starters, we have only known each other for a few months. I mean, being secret, well now public, fuckbuddies is one thing. It's nowhere close to living together. And yeah, it would piss my mom off, but for good reasons. Besides, we're not even a couple, we're barely friends. And I doubt being roommates would work out. We are both too jealous and it would be weird," I stammer, trying to make him see the reality of his question.

"Wow, you don't get it, do you?" he snaps, sliding me off his lap. His anger rises with each article of clothing he puts on. He's fully dressed and pissed by the time I follow suit.

"What the fuck is your deal? Not even ten minutes ago, you had your dick inside me, asking me to be your roommate. Now you're all pissed off because I told you the truth, how crazy that sounds," I spat, throwing my shirt on over my head.

"The truth, that's funny. Especially from someone who takes a pretend boyfriend home to meet the family. You talk a good game, I'll give you that. You talk about always living a lie and having to please other people. But when someone offers you a chance to do something crazy, a way to live your life for you, you're a coward. Maybe it isn't your family holding you back. You should look in the mirror," he screams at me, his face flushed with anger.

"Fuck you, Hayden! How dare you sit here and act like you know what's best for me? You don't know what the fuck I want," I yell back, matching my anger to his.

"You can lie to yourself, but I know the truth. You want me, and I want you. The only difference is I'm not scared to fuck up. Do you know why? Because I know I'll mess up. Everyone does." His eyes narrow, glaring down at me.

"Not even two weeks ago, you were with someone else. What, was she not good enough for you? Did she not get your dick hard enough? Oh, let me guess, you were thinking about me the whole time, right?" I hiss, my shoulders dropping. I don't want to fight with him. And especially not over some whore.

"I didn't fuck her. I got my dick sucked when I was blackout drunk. Not to mention I was single. I don't deny that I'm fucked up, but so are you. No one said life was easy. But it doesn't have to be boring either. The entire world is against people like us. It's designed to keep us down. But at least we have each other. Maybe together we have a shot." He makes it sound so simple.

But he's right about everything. I do care about him. And I love him so much, with every ounce of my being, it hurts. I'm miserable when we are apart. But he and I together will never work. One of us will get hurt. We're destined to destroy each other. It's only a matter of time.

"Hayden," I whisper, dropping to sit on the bed. My watery eyes focused on the floor, looking everywhere but at him. I don't want him mad at me. He always leaves when we fight. I need him to stay. I don't want to be alone.

"Look Bex, I know it's a big decision," he kneels before me, his hand cupping my chin. "And I know you're scared. But it's okay. We got this. I promise I'll try harder to act better, but only if you do. I'm tired of playing these games with you. Aren't you worn out?" He whispers, lying his head in my lap.

Why would life throw this at me? Why do I have to be so screwed up, so damaged? Every day millions of people live life, without a care in the world. They have good jobs, and spouses, even children. They have healthy, happy relationships with other normal people. All the books I've read or movies I watch have happy, endings to love tales. Two people fall in love, one damaged and one not. They work together to fix the broken one, leading to a fairy tale ending.

But this isn't the case here. We're both damaged. Two broken people can't fix each other. That's not how the laws of romance work. Instead, they end up shattering, ruined beyond repair. In the end, all you have is the classic toxic relationship. The unheard horror stories that never get told.

I would do anything to be with him. To be happy and have a healthy relationship. I wish we had met in another life, another time. Even before we met, the people who broke us, we might have had a chance.

"Let's try, okay? I'd rather fail, and fall on my face than never have tried at all," he pleads, looking up at me, still knelt. His body leaning in, he kisses me.

A few stray tears escape down my cheeks. With each swipe of his tongue comes the taste of salt, welcoming my tears.

"Shhh, don't cry please," he coos, gently wiping my tears. My head is spinning. I feel like I'm suffocating. How is it I finally convinced him to want me, and I'm scared? I want to be with him. And only him. I want to try. But knowing what the outcome will be, is it even worth it?

Right now, I hate myself. He's right, I am a coward. I don't deserve him, but I need him. Am I being selfish? Taking a deep breath, I swallow the newly formed lump rising in my throat. My tongue swipes across my lower lip, lapping up the remaining tears.

I nod slowly. "Okay, you're right. We should at least try," I speak, before changing my mind.

"Are you sure? You mean it?" He asks, trying to cover the huge grin creeping across his face.

"Yeah, I guess. And hopefully, we won't crash and burn," I tease, shrugging my shoulders.

Using his body against me, he shoves me backward onto the bed, once again hovering above me. His soft hand strokes my cheek before pressing his lips against mine. His other hand plays along the hem of my t-shirt.

I reach down, stopping his hand, mid-movement. "Ugh, raincheck on round two," I moan, attempting to convince myself. "I didn't tell you earlier but I have a job interview tomorrow morning. It's at the campus library. And I have to wake up, super early to shower and catch the bus." I whimper beneath his seductive touch.

"Or I can take you. And cut out sometime," he offers, kissing up my neck. His hand massages my groin, attempting to make me reconsider.

"I better not be late," I warn him, arching my back off of the bed, allowing his hands to slide in beneath my pants. His fingers touch me, playing in my wetness, sliding in and out. He removes the only obstacle between us, in one quick motion throwing my pants to the side.

My mind goes blank, unable to register the rest of what he's saying. Moans escape my lips, the faster he feverishly licks and sucks my neck. Thrusting his body into mine, he fills me. I can barely breathe, his lips swallowing each breath before it leaves my mouth. He keeps the same pace, curling his hands beneath my shoulders. Each thrust pulls me closer to him.

"You're mine and I'm yours," he whispers between kisses. His movements speed up the closer he comes to finishing. I release in a state of ecstasy.

My body is numb and weak from exhaustion. The bed whines as he rolls off of me, landing beside me. His face nestles in my hair, with his arm draped across me. I'm relaxed and at ease. My eyes flutter shut, drifting off to sleep.