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The Diary of an obsessive idi...

By Scarletmonk720

610 5 3

my diary, read it or don't i really don't care More

struggling
Sweet disapointment
An endless cycle
Fragile
change/wrongdoings
Endless cycle
Miserable
Back on the beat
Ranting... Again
Divorce
Quick Notes
[Random Title]
Sad Sac (Moody Hours)
"You're sweet"
Need to chill
I think this is over
Let me just backtrack
Quick notes (general life)
"Once is funny, two times is fucking annoying"
Clarification
Invisible Prison
Recharged
Appreciation
Spud
Unwell
Working on myself
Isolated
Depravity
Resentful
notifications
Stepped up
pop's sick
mundane
Random poetry i wrote
Ghosting
got into another argument with my dad
I'm lost
war inside of me
I have brain damage
anything you wanna know
idk
i still don't know
Disinterested
There's nothing i can do
starting to get annoyed
Cracking at the seams
Mundane
Fake Friend
Friends
worried
fun times
What do i want?
going out
cancelled
hiking
FU-
parents
Struggling... again
Friends on there terms
miss one day
Content
Untitled Part 66
we g
bro i'm sick again
detrimental
Casper
idk what to title this so... yeah
and down the spiral we go.
short spiral
im so god damm tired
obsession
ok, what now
i miss sugar
fuck family
nothing
beauty
advantages of being braindead.
mha
malnourished
terrified
no longer terrified
job hunt
fun
decision
surgery
easy done
giddy
worst
sensory overload
hits differently
and just like that
old news
night sweats
issues
sad reality
job
social
pills
oh god
e
"people don't change"
[insert creative title here]
vegetarian
Untitled Part 129
what can ya do
e
Conare, Mori, Repetere
manic
Car go broom
perpetual persistence
withdrawal ramblings
Filters
Untitled Part 147
honestly
eh
not fair
backwards
thank
ash
happy
f

ranting again :)

18 0 0
By Scarletmonk720


i apologize if this entry seems a little unintelligible it's late and i'm exhausted.

anyways so last time i mentioned how i tore the ligament in my foot again, well i then had covid, after that i had a bad sinus infection so i just returned to work last tuesday, which is fine y'know, work's work. the only pressing issue is that i may do my ankle/foot again, but i have an appointment on thursday so hopefully that can help me get back on track.

so this is just me thinking of the past, more just the me of the past in highschool. i don't really know how to word it, i felt like an outcast so i don't know why, but my personality kind of adapted to that of an outcast. around the girl i like i'm always stumbling over myself, and at work i'm normal, at least i feel it. my point is am i just going to fill the role i feel i belong in? it's something to think about in the least. man that was one incoherent paragraph.


serious for a moment however ever since i started my latest meds it's felt as though the world has become slighthtly less frightening and much more hospitable, like i'm not scared of every little insignificant action. if i could describe this feeling i would, but it's just so freeing i'm at a loss for words. cue tomorrow when i'm feeling like ass.


aanyways it's late, i got to be up at 5:30 tomorrow so i'm going to go to sleep :')

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