LISA
The Asian tour was announced, and we've been practicing nonstop for it. Day after day, all we did was rehearse for the concert. It felt like weeks passed, but it was only days.
We were stuck in the practice rooms, at YG building, doing routines, vocal exercises, mentoring—everything in preparation. Even during breaks, when it was just the four of us in the same room, I felt a strange sense of isolation. It wasn't that my members were making me feel alone, but the atmosphere shifted ever since that night.
Jennie's gaze toward me changed. Chaeyoung, it seemed, had made it her responsibility to comfort me every time. I appreciate it, even though it wasn't always necessary. And Jisoo became extra attentive, checking in on me after bed, making sure I was okay—like the caring older sister she is.
The choreography for "Sixteen Shots" has been a struggle for my members. The choreographer is pretty strict. She called Jisoo out multiple times, asked Chaeyoung why she was offbeat, and pointed out Jennie's mistakes, which were too obvious to miss. After giving us a 20-minute break, she made it clear she expected us to perfect the routine after that.
"Lisa... can you?" Jisoo asked, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I smiled, setting my towel down, and turning on the speaker.
Chaeyoung stepped in to join us, though Jennie was still sitting on the side, holding her head and watching quietly.
"Unnie, aren't you going to practice?" Chaeyoung asked Jennie, since I didn't have the courage to speak to her. We hadn't really talked when it was just the four of us.
Jennie nodded, though it was obvious she was exhausted. We'd been dancing nonstop for two hours, so I understood why she felt that way.
"Give me 10 minutes," she said, taking a sip of water from her bottle.
I didn't look at her but focused on teaching Jisoo and Chaeyoung. Step by step, count by count, and soon there was progress—little by little, but the moves were becoming more precise.
Jisoo even commented that I was a better dance teacher than our choreographer, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Lisa... If it's okay, could you teach me too?" Jennie asked this time.
Jisoo and Chaeyoung suddenly said they were heading to the restroom, probably giving Jennie and me some space to talk—or maybe just privacy, even though we'd be practicing.
"Of course, unnie."
Jennie picked it up quickly. With just a few adjustments, less than ten minutes passed and her moves were clean. We both sat on the wooden floor, feeling the sweat drip down from my forehead. Ten minutes passed, and the two of them still hadn't returned from the restroom.
The only sound in the room was our heavy breathing, and the silence seemed to fill every corner.
How did we end up like this? Jennie and I haven't had a serious fight in years. But now, it's been three weeks without speaking to each other. We exchange fake smiles when someone else is around, and when we're at the dorm, it feels like we're strangers.
Even Jennie and Chaeyoung are talking to each other, like nothing's wrong. But with me? She's distant. And I feel the same.
"I'm sorry." Jennie's words broke the heavy silence, a silence that felt like it was suffocating me.
Her apology made me look at her. Only now did I realize she had been looking at me, probably for longer than I'd noticed.
"I'm sorry for everything I said," she continued, her voice breaking. It made my chest tighten. She was so sincere, and I could hear the raw emotion in her voice. "I was just... shocked and confused, and I didn't know how to feel in that moment. Trust me, I didn't mean any of it, Lalisa."
A tear fell from her eye, and that was all it took for me to pull her into a hug.
I held her tightly, the same way I did when it was announced I was the second member of BlackPink. The same tight embrace we shared when our debut was confirmed.
"I'm sorry that I let my panic take over and say all those things. I didn't even stop to think about how you'd feel. I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry, Lisa."
"Unnie, please. I understand," I whispered, but she shook her head, insisting.
"No, Lisa. I said hurtful things. You didn't deserve any of it. I don't... I didn't..." She broke off, and I whispered, "It's okay. Can we just forget about that? Just let it go?"
"Lili, I said too much," she said again, but I reassured her.
"And you're sorry for it. That's what matters. That means a lot to me. You and I—we're okay now."
"We're okay?" She looked at me, her eyes searching mine.
"We are," I repeated, offering her a smile.
"You don't hate me?"
"Nini, why would I?" I smiled again, feeling relief wash over me. Fun fact: I could never hate her.
"We're okay," Jennie said with a sense of finality. "So, this means you're not sneaking out at 4 a.m. anymore?"
I froze, my soul almost slipping from my body at her words. I had no idea Jennie had noticed.
"W-w-what..."
She took my hands in hers, concern evident in her eyes as she looked at me.
"Lisa, I know what happened between us is hurting you a lot. That's why you're doing this, right? You're sneaking out because you think it's the only way to clear your mind." Jennie scoffed slightly, her grip on my hand tightening. "But please, if you're going through something, talk to us. Don't go out at those hours. It's dangerous."
"J-jen..."
"I've seen you three times already," she said, her voice softening. "Well, I've been checking on you, to be honest." She gave a faint smile. "For some reason, that 4 a.m. thing has become your routine, and it worries me."
"I'm sorry for making you worry," I said quickly.
"It's okay. Just promise me you won't do it again."
What?
I... can't... promise that.
I fell silent because the words Jennie wanted to hear were stuck in my throat.
Of course, I knew I needed to stop sneaking out for my own good, but not seeing Joohyun... that would be unbearable.
"Lisa?" Jennie's eyes searched mine, but I couldn't meet her gaze. I couldn't promise her something that I knew I'd break.
Then, just in time, Jisoo's voice filled the room, and I couldn't have been more grateful for her perfect timing.
"See?! See?! They're okay now!" Jisoo cheered as she spread her arms wide. "Group hug!!!" she yelled, running toward us. Chaeyoung rolled her eyes at Jisoo's antics but followed along anyway.
It was a perfect save for me.
The four of us bundled into a group hug, bursting into laughter as we realized how long it had been since we'd done this.
***
"Red Velvet wants to have dinner together," Jennie muttered as she continued swiping on her phone. We had already finished practicing, and it was 7 p.m., the perfect time to grab dinner. But it wasn't exactly what I had expected.
"Yeah, Joy texted too. She asked if we're free," Rosie chimed in from the side.
I slumped against Jisoo as the two of them were busy confirming the dinner plans on their phones.
"I got a text too. How about you, Lis?" Soo said, eyeing my phone with suspicion.
Why would she think I'd have received one?
Sure, my members are close to Red Velvet, but that doesn't automatically mean I'm included. Besides, Joohyun isn't the type to stick to her phone.
"Nothing," I said with a smile, brushing it off.
"Just check it, idiot." Jisoo emphasized the idiot part, making me glare at her. Jisoo suddenly leaned in, grinning mischievously. "Maybe Irene sent you a message," she teased, causing Jennie and Rosie to look at us.
"Unnie!" I couldn't help but blush. She had just mentioned Irene's name, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. Damn. "Mind your own business!"
I scooted a little farther from Jisoo and checked my phone. There was still a part of me that hoped Irene had sent me a message.
But who was I kidding? We've been texting for a while now, so receiving a message from her wasn't anything new. What concerned me more was the possibility of Jisoo seeing our messages.
Irene had been sending me selfies lately, saying it was to cheer me up. And of course, she always added "send yours too" with a bunch of heart-eye emojis, like those little hearts could speak for us.
And there it was.
Joohyun: Lisa, let's have dinner?
Joohyun: With the group, of course. What do you think?
Joohyun: We're up for it. Just waiting on your reply.
Joohyun: Jennie confirmed. Hope to see you!
The last message had just come in a few minutes ago.
"We're in, right? No one has plans tomorrow?" I nodded, a smile creeping across my face that I couldn't erase.
***
We made it back to our dorm quickly. I rushed through a shower, and even though I hadn't finished drying my hair, Rosie was already knocking on my door.
"Yahhh, hurry up!" she called.
"I'm not doing my makeup yet!" I yelled back. I wanted to look nice for tonight, but rushing me wouldn't help.
"Lipstick's fine. Just put on some foundation and let's go," she chuckled. "Park Chaeyoung, give me ten minutes!"
"Five minutes!"
"Eight!"
"Lisa, let's go," Jennie called, followed by Jisoo shouting my name.
Great, just great.
I don't usually do my makeup in a van, but tonight was an exception. Jisoo laughed at me as I hurried, but thankfully, Rosie helped out. She's the best.
I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail just as our van came to a stop. Perfect timing, I'd finished just in time.
***
Red Velvet was already seated in the VIP room, gathered around a round table. They had taken their spots, chatting comfortably.
My eyes instinctively searched for her. She was already looking at me, her gaze unwavering. Without thinking, I raised a hand and mouthed a small hi.
Maybe that was a little too much—especially since we had walked in silently, making my greeting stand out.
Awkward. Very awkward.
Irene looked away almost immediately, as if she didn't know me at all. My heart sank.
Her hand rested on the table, fidgeting with her phone, flipping it over and over. I hadn't expected her to act this way—so indifferent, so distant. Not when she was usually calm and composed in group settings like this.
I thought we were okay...?
I stood frozen for a moment, but thankfully, Rosie pulled me down to sit beside her.
The room was lively, everyone chatting about their week, catching up like close friends. Meanwhile, I sat there, feeling out of place.
Joohyun never once looked in my direction. She was engrossed in conversation with Jennie. Joy had claimed Rosie's full attention, while Yerim was deep in discussion with another bandmate.
On my other side, Seulgi was laughing at something Jisoo said, Wendy joining in on their fun.
I hated this.
Dinner arrived, and the night carried on just as it started—full of lively conversations and bursts of laughter. I tried to chime in when I could, but it never lasted long. One question, one answer. That was it.
Once again, I felt like an outsider. And no matter how much I tried to ignore it, I couldn't shake off the way Joohyun was deliberately avoiding me.
There was an unfamiliar sting in my chest every time she laughed at something Jennie said. And when she did catch me looking at her, she would just shrug nonchalantly and go back to talking—like I wasn't even there.
Like we hadn't just spent dawn together, watching the sun rise with hot coffee in our hands.
Like I was nothing more than Lisa from BLACKPINK to her.
It stung.
So when her gaze finally landed on me, I rolled my eyes—on purpose. I made sure she saw it because if she wanted to act this way, I could play the game too.
With a sigh, I pulled my phone from my bag. Maybe scrolling through Instagram would be more entertaining than this awkward dinner.
But as soon as I unlocked my screen, I froze.
Three unread messages. From her.
My eyes darted back to Joohyun. She was still watching me, as if she couldn't believe I had just rolled my eyes at her.
Joohyun: Hello.
Was that supposed to be a response to my greeting earlier?
Joohyun: You look pretty. Eat a lot.
Joohyun: I reserved a seat beside me for you, but maybe next time.
My heart slammed against my ribs. Oh my god.
I had completely missed it.
Joohyun had looked away when I greeted her, and Jennie had taken the seat next to her.
How could I be so stupid?!
Without thinking, I quickly typed a reply.
Me: Joohyun, I'm sorry.
I didn't even know what else to say when—
"Hey."
I jumped, nearly dropping my phone as Seulgi poked my side.
She grinned at me, eyes crinkling. "I heard you have cats."
...Huh?
Cats?
She leaned in, her voice barely above a whisper, as if what she was about to say was top secret.
"I'm thinking about adopting a cat. Can you help me?"
Oh.
"You like cats?" I asked, momentarily pushing aside the awareness of a certain pair of eyes watching us.
Seulgi nodded enthusiastically, a soft giggle escaping her lips. She shifted closer, turning to face me properly.
"Yeah, but I don't know if I'm ready. I'm kind of..."
"You should get one," I cut in before she could finish. It wasn't every day that I met someone in the industry who preferred cats over dogs, and this shared interest could be the start of something—a friendship, maybe.
"I can help you with that."
"Really?" Her eyes lit up.
"Yeah. We can start by looking at my Leo and Luca," I said, unlocking my phone to pull up some pictures.
But before I could show her, Joohyun suddenly stood up, murmuring a quiet excuse before heading to the restroom.
The conversation around the table resumed as if nothing happened, but I couldn't stop staring at the spot where she disappeared.
Should I follow her?
Why does it feel like she wants me to follow?
No.
I shouldn't.
But... what's the harm in going? No one would question it if I said I needed to use the restroom too.
Actually, forget it. I need to talk to her.
"I like this one," Seulgi murmured, snapping me out of my thoughts. I hadn't even realized I was still showing her pictures of my cats.
"Luca? Yeah, he's a pretty boy," I replied, smiling at the image on my screen.
"I'd love a cat like him. Maybe I should—"
"Seul, I think I need to pee," I blurted out before she could finish.
I didn't even realize how casually I'd called her Seul instead of sunbae or unnie. But thankfully, she didn't seem to mind.
"Ahhh. Sure," she said with a nod.
I took long strides toward the restroom, hoping Joohyun hadn't already left.
Pushing open the door, I found her standing in front of the mirror, arms crossed over her chest. She wasn't fixing her hair or checking her makeup—she was just waiting. For someone.
For me.
"Joohyun, look, I'm sorry," I said immediately.
She clenched her jaw, looking away, but I could tell she wasn't angry—just stubborn.
I stepped forward, closing the distance between us. Her eyes, which had been so cold a moment ago, softened when I pulled her into a hug.
I took her crossed arms and placed them around my waist, wanting—needing—to feel her closer. But she let them fall to her sides instead.
"I'm really sorry," I murmured. "I didn't mean to roll my eyes at you. I was just frustrated that you wouldn't look at me."
It was just an eye roll. But somehow, it felt like the biggest mistake I'd made all week.
Joohyun finally met my gaze, her expression unreadable.
"And you think I didn't feel the same," she muttered, "when you were talking to Seulgi that close?"
Now this was getting interesting.
"We were just talking about cats," I chuckled, amused by the hint of jealousy in her tone. "And it was barely five minutes."
A part of me was overwhelmed—because knowing she felt this way? It meant everything.
"Let's just be a little less obvious around them, okay?" I murmured, slowly breaking the hug. "But please, don't act like you don't know me. That was brutal."
Joohyun let out a small hum, her gaze flickering away for a second.
"And honestly," I continued, smirking, "you don't have to look this pretty, Hyun. It's torture. Imagine not being able to stare at this beauty."
This time, a soft giggle escaped her lips, the sound making my heart flip. She playfully slapped my hand away, shaking her head.
"Whatever you say, Lisa," she said, amusement dancing in her eyes. "I'll go first. Wait a minute before following, okay?"
I nodded, watching as she turned back to the mirror, adjusting her hair. That pretty smile of hers hadn't faded—not even a little.
And before I could stop myself, the words slipped out.
"I like you, Joohyun."
She froze, her eyes meeting mine through the reflection.
I had this habit—I needed to remind her how much I liked her every chance I got.
She turned to face me, her warm hand gently cupping my cheek, her thumb tracing slow circles.
"I like you too, Lisa," she murmured. "So much."
And just like that, my entire day felt complete.
But then again, that was just Joohyun. She had that effect on me.