The moment Lucius left, the walls of the room felt like they were closing in. My chest was tight, my breaths shallow. I needed to get out.
Without saying a word, I turned toward the door, my legs still unsteady beneath me.
"Wait—" Draco started, but I ignored him, forcing myself forward.
I only made it a few steps before my vision swam, and my knees buckled. My hand shot out instinctively, catching onto the doorframe to stop myself from collapsing completely.
"Damn it," I hissed, gripping the wood tightly, my knuckles turning white. My body was shaking, my exhaustion finally catching up to me.
Draco was at my side in an instant, steadying me before I could fall any further. "Will you stop doing that?" he snapped, his grip firm but careful.
Mother was close behind, her voice softer. "You're not well enough to be running off."
I squeezed my eyes shut, swallowing back the frustration, the humiliation, the everything pressing down on me. "I just—" My voice cracked. "I just need to get out of here."
Draco sighed, glancing at Mother, then back at me. "Fine," he muttered. "But you're not going anywhere alone."
I wanted to argue. I wanted to tell him I could handle it, that I didn't need to be babysat.
But I couldn't even stand properly on my own.
I exhaled shakily, nodding just enough to show I wasn't going to fight him on this.
"Alright," he said, adjusting his hold on me. "Let's go."
Draco kept his arm around me as we made our way out of the study, moving carefully through the long, dimly lit corridors of the Manor. My legs still felt weak, but I forced myself forward, focusing on the cool marble beneath my feet instead of the weight of everything pressing down on me.
Mother followed a step behind, silent but watching closely. I knew she wanted to say something—probably to convince me to stay and rest—but she held back. Maybe she knew I wouldn't listen. Maybe, for once, she understood that I just needed to get out.
We reached the grand staircase, and Draco sighed. "We're taking this slow," he muttered.
I nodded absentmindedly, gripping the bannister tightly as we descended. Every step felt heavier than it should have, my limbs still sluggish from exhaustion.
When we finally reached the bottom, I inhaled deeply, trying to steady myself. "Outside," I mumbled. "I just want to be outside for a bit."
Draco didn't argue. He just guided me toward the back of the Manor, pushing open the large glass doors that led to the garden.
The cool night air hit me immediately, a welcome contrast to the suffocating walls of the house. The sky was dark, scattered with stars, the wind rustling gently through the hedges. It was quiet. Peaceful.
I took a shaky step forward, then another, pulling away from Draco slightly. He let me go, but I could feel his watchful gaze on me.
I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling slowly. "Finally," I muttered under my breath.
Draco crossed his arms, standing beside me. "You going to talk about what happened back there?"
I let out a dry, humorless laugh. "What's there to talk about? He doesn't care. He never will."
Draco was quiet for a moment. Then, softer than I expected, he said, "I care."
I turned to look at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice.
His expression was guarded, but there was something else beneath it. Something raw. "You scared the hell out of me," he admitted. "And I hate that I didn't see how bad it was."
I swallowed hard, guilt settling in my stomach. "I didn't want anyone to see."
Draco sighed, shaking his head. "Well, too late for that."
We stood there in silence for a while, the cold air biting at my skin. For the first time in what felt like forever, I wasn't thinking about Father. Or Hogwarts. Or the nightmares.
Just the stars above us, the quiet hum of the wind, and the fact that—despite everything—I wasn't alone.
I let out a shaky breath, staring up at the sky, my arms wrapped around myself as if that would somehow hold me together.
"I just..." My voice faltered, and I swallowed hard before trying again. "I just want to be normal." The words felt fragile, like glass ready to shatter. "I don't want everyone to worry about me all the time. I don't want to be this—this thing people have to constantly look after."
Draco was quiet, letting me speak.
I hesitated before admitting, "But if I'm honest... I'm scared too."
Saying it out loud made it real.
I wasn't just scared of the nightmares or the memories. I was scared of myself—of how close I had come to completely falling apart, of how much worse it could get.
Draco sighed, running a hand through his hair before turning to face me fully. "You think I don't get that?" His voice wasn't harsh, but there was something firm in it. "You think I don't know what it's like to want to be normal? To wish I didn't have to deal with—" He gestured vaguely. "—all this shit we were born into?"
I looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, I realized how exhausted he was too.
"It's not fair," I muttered, shaking my head. "None of this is fair."
Draco let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, well, life doesn't give a damn about fair, does it?"
I sighed, rubbing my arms as another gust of wind sent a chill through me.
Draco hesitated before speaking again. "You don't have to do this alone, you know."
I glanced at him, and he shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I mean it. You're not some burden, and you're not weak. You're my sister. And I'd rather you tell me you're scared than pretend you're fine and... and end up in the hospital wing again."
I bit my lip, looking away. "I don't know how to just... talk about it."
"You just did," he pointed out.
I let out a quiet, tired laugh. "Yeah. I guess I did."
Draco nudged my shoulder lightly, a rare, small smirk on his face. "See? Progress."
I rolled my eyes but didn't pull away.
I exhaled slowly, the cold night air stinging my lungs. As much as I hated being at the Manor, I hated feeling weak even more.
I turned to Draco, my voice quiet but firm. "Can we go back to Hogwarts?"
He studied me for a long moment, his brows furrowed in hesitation. "Are you sure?"
I nodded. "I don't want to stay here. I just... I just want to go back. Pretend everything is normal for a little while." Even though we both knew it wasn't.
Draco sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You're still barely standing."
"I'll manage."
He gave me a skeptical look but didn't argue. "Fine," he muttered. "I'll talk to Mother. She'll make sure we can leave without Father stopping us."
I didn't respond, just wrapped my arms around myself, staring off into the darkness of the garden.
A few minutes later, Draco returned, nodding toward the house. "She's arranging it now. We'll take the Floo back as soon as it's ready."
Relief flooded through me. "Thank you."
Draco just shrugged. "Let's just get out of here."
Draco and I made our way back inside, my legs still unsteady but my determination keeping me upright. Mother was waiting for us in the drawing room, her expression unreadable as she gestured toward the grand fireplace where the emerald-green flames of the Floo Network already crackled.
"It's ready," she said simply.
I hesitated, glancing toward her. She hadn't said much since I told Father everything. Part of me wondered what she was thinking, if she actually cared or if she was just trying to keep the peace.
She stepped forward, reaching out as if to fix a loose strand of my hair, but she stopped herself, letting her hand fall back to her side. Instead, she spoke softly, "Try to rest when you get back. Hogwarts may be safer than here, but you are not invincible, my dear."
I swallowed hard, nodding. "I know."
Her lips pressed into a thin line, and then, just as quickly as the moment had come, she straightened her posture and returned to her usual, composed self. "Draco, take care of her," she said briskly.
"Always," he muttered.
Without another word, I stepped into the fireplace, grabbing a handful of Floo powder. I took one last look at the grand, cold walls of Malfoy Manor before throwing the powder down and calling, "Hogwarts!"
The flames roared around me, swallowing me whole.
The spinning was disorienting, but the moment my feet hit solid ground, I stumbled forward onto the familiar stone floor of the Slytherin common room. I barely had time to steady myself before Draco arrived right behind me, catching my arm before I could fall.
The warmth of the common room was a sharp contrast to the Manor—flickering candlelight, the low murmur of students in the distance, the faint scent of firewhiskey and old parchment.
I was home.
The sound of hurried footsteps made me turn, and before I could react, someone crashed into me—arms wrapping tightly around me.
"Bloody hell," Mattheo muttered against my hair. "You're back."
I let out a shaky breath, nodding against his shoulder. "I'm back."
Theo, Blaise, Pansy, and Enzo appeared behind him, their expressions shifting between relief and concern.
"You look like hell," Theo muttered.
"Yeah, well," I sighed, pulling back slightly. "It's been a long night."
Mattheo's hands stayed on my waist, his dark eyes searching mine. "Are you okay?"
I wasn't sure how to answer that. But I was here. I was alive.
So I nodded. "I will be."
Mattheo didn't let go of me right away. His grip on my waist was firm, as if he was afraid that if he let go, I'd disappear. I didn't blame him.
Theo, Blaise, and the others hovered nearby, watching me like I was made of glass. It was exhausting—seeing the worry in their faces, knowing I was the reason for it.
I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. "Can we not do this?" I muttered. "The whole... staring at me like I'm about to drop dead thing."
Theo raised an eyebrow. "Kind of hard not to when you almost did."
Mattheo shot him a glare, and Theo held up his hands. "What? She wanted honesty."
I huffed, shaking my head. "I just—" My voice faltered for a second. "I just want to forget about it. At least for tonight."
Mattheo studied me for a long moment before nodding. "Alright," he murmured. "Then tell us what you do want."
I glanced around the common room. It was late, and most people had gone to bed, but the warm fire was still burning, casting flickering shadows across the stone walls.
I hesitated before finally answering. "I just want things to feel normal. Even if it's only for a little while."
There was a pause. Then Pansy clapped her hands together. "Well, that settles it. We're staying up."
Theo smirked. "Obviously."
Enzo flopped onto the couch. "Someone grab the firewhiskey."
Blaise arched an eyebrow. "And snacks. She probably hasn't eaten."
I blinked at them, warmth creeping into my chest. They weren't pushing me to talk. They weren't forcing me to rest. They were just here. Making things feel normal again, the way I needed them to.
Mattheo gave my waist a squeeze before finally letting go. "Go sit down," he murmured. "I'll get your drink."
I let him guide me to the couch, sinking into the cushions as the others moved around, pulling out bottles, passing around snacks, throwing pillows at each other like children.
Mattheo handed me the glass, his fingers brushing against mine for a moment before he leaned back against the couch. His arm rested on the back of it, close enough that I could feel his warmth but not suffocating me. I took a slow sip of the firewhiskey, letting the burn ground me.
Theo stretched out in the armchair across from us, tossing a peanut in the air and catching it in his mouth. "Alright," he said lazily, "since we're clearly not just going to sit here sulking all night... who's up for a game?"
Pansy arched an eyebrow. "If you suggest truth or dare, I will hex you."
Theo smirked. "Relax, Parkinson. I was thinking of something different."
Blaise leaned forward, intrigued. "Go on."
Theo's grin widened. "Never Have I Ever."
I huffed out a quiet laugh. "Seriously?"
"Seriously." He grabbed the firewhiskey bottle and refilled his glass. "Come on, you know the rules. Someone says something they've never done, and if you have done it, you drink."
Enzo smirked. "I like this game."
Pansy rolled her eyes but still reached for her glass. "Fine. But if this turns into you lot exposing all my secrets, I will kill you."
Theo raised his hands innocently. "Wouldn't dream of it."
Blaise looked around the circle, then shrugged. "Alright, I'll go first." He thought for a second before smirking. "Never have I ever... snuck into the Forbidden Forest after curfew."
Mattheo snorted and immediately took a drink. I rolled my eyes and took a sip as well.
"Obviously you two have," Pansy muttered, taking a sip herself. "Idiots."
Theo laughed. "Alright, my turn." His eyes gleamed with mischief. "Never have I ever... had a crush on someone in this room."
The group fell silent for a moment before Enzo let out a low whistle. "Oh, this is dangerous."
Slowly, Mattheo raised his glass and took a sip, his dark eyes locked on mine.
Heat rose to my cheeks, and despite myself, I smiled.
A few chuckles echoed around the room as Mattheo set his glass back down, still holding my gaze. His smirk was subtle, teasing, but there was something deeper in his eyes—something real.
I rolled my eyes, taking a slow sip from my own glass.
Theo cackled. "Well, well, well," he drawled, glancing around. "Anyone else drinking, or is it just our lovebirds over here?"
Blaise lifted his glass with an amused smirk and took a sip.
Pansy groaned. "Merlin, you all need help."
Enzo snorted. "Like you're one to talk, Pans."
She huffed but didn't deny it, taking a quick sip of her own drink before crossing her arms.
Theo grinned. "Alright, alright, moving on." He nodded toward me. "Your turn, Malfoy."
I raised an eyebrow, taking another slow sip of firewhiskey while I thought. Then, finally, I smirked. "Never have I ever... been caught sneaking out of the castle."
Mattheo groaned, immediately drinking. So did Theo and Blaise.
"Obviously," Pansy muttered, rolling her eyes.
Enzo took a sip as well, though he grinned after. "Filch is slow as hell, by the way. Just saying."
I laughed softly, the warmth of the firewhiskey spreading through me. It wasn't just the alcohol—it was this. The normalcy, the banter, the way my friends weren't treating me like I was about to break.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt like myself.
Mattheo nudged my knee with his. "You look like you're enjoying yourself," he murmured.
I glanced at him, my smirk softening. "I am."
He held my gaze for a moment longer, his expression unreadable, then leaned back with a satisfied look.
Theo, clearly growing impatient, clapped his hands together. "Right, who's next? Because this night is just getting started."
Astoria smirked as she leaned forward, twirling her glass between her fingers. "Never have I ever... had sex."
Silence hung in the air for a brief moment before, one by one, my friends lifted their glasses and took a sip.
Mattheo drank without hesitation, as did Theo, Blaise, Enzo, and Pansy. Even Astoria herself took a small sip.
I kept my glass firmly in my lap.
I felt the shift almost immediately—the subtle glances exchanged, the flicker of curiosity in some eyes and quiet understanding in others.
Mattheo, who had just set his glass back down, paused. His dark eyes flicked toward me, his expression unreadable.
Theo, always the one to break tension, let out a low whistle. "Damn, Greengrass, coming for blood tonight."
Astoria shrugged, but I could feel her gaze on me, lingering longer than the others.
I rolled my eyes, forcing a smirk. "What can I say? Some of us have standards."
The group laughed, the moment passing, and the game carried on.
But I felt Mattheo's eyes on me again. He didn't say anything, didn't press.
But I could tell—he was thinking.
Draco leaned back against the couch, swirling his firewhiskey before smirking. "Never have I ever... kissed more than one person in a night."
Immediately, Theo groaned and took a sip, followed by Blaise and Enzo.
Mattheo hesitated for only a second before lifting his glass and drinking as well.
Pansy rolled her eyes and sipped, while Astoria took a slow, calculated drink.
Draco himself drank too, looking almost bored about it.
I stayed still.
I didn't lift my glass.
The others noticed.
Mattheo's gaze flicked to me, just for a second, like he was trying to read me. Theo arched an eyebrow but didn't comment. Enzo let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. "Malfoy, mate, you knew that one was gonna get most of us."
Draco shrugged. "Just testing the waters."
"Testing the waters my ass," Pansy muttered. "You're just stirring shit."
"Maybe," Draco said smoothly, taking another sip of his drink.
The conversation moved on, but I could feel the thought lingering in the air—that I hadn't taken a sip. That maybe I was different from the rest of them in ways they hadn't really considered before.
Mattheo nudged my knee lightly, his voice low so only I could hear. "You alright?"
I glanced at him and nodded, offering a small smirk. "You jealous I haven't kissed multiple people in one night?"
He let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. "Not jealous, love," he murmured. "Just intrigued."
I swirled my drink, smirking as I thought for a second. "Well, it's not like I didn't have the opportunity," I said with a giggle.
Mattheo's smirk deepened as he tilted his head, watching me closely. "Oh yeah?" he drawled. "And what stopped you, princess?"
Theo chuckled, stretching his arms behind his head. "Unlike the rest of us degenerates, she actually has self-control."
I opened my mouth to respond, but then it hit me.
My eyes widened slightly. "Oh, fuck," I blurted out, laughing. "I actually have."
Everyone turned to look at me.
"Wait—what?" Pansy asked, blinking.
I lifted my hand, gesturing between Theo and Mattheo. "I forgot—I kissed both of you."
Theo burst out laughing, nearly choking on his drink. "Ohhh, shit," he cackled, looking at Mattheo. "How the hell did we forget that?"
Mattheo raised an eyebrow, amusement flickering in his dark eyes. "Well, well," he murmured, taking a slow sip of his drink. "Is that your way of saying we weren't memorable enough?"
I grinned. "Maybe I was just too drunk to care."
Blaise let out a whistle. "Damn. She really just humbled both of you in one breath."
Mattheo chuckled, shaking his head. "You wound me, love."
Theo wiped a fake tear from his eye. "Truly heartbreaking."
Pansy rolled her eyes. "You lot are a mess."
I just laughed, the warmth of the firewhiskey settling in my chest. The moment had started as nothing—a simple realization—but now, looking at the smirks, the teasing, the easy comfort of being with my friends, I felt lighter.
I leaned back, swirling my drink before smirking. "Never have I ever... had a body count higher than five."
The reaction was instant.
Mattheo, Theo, Blaise, Enzo, Astoria, Pansy, and even Draco all lifted their glasses and took a sip without hesitation.
I raised an eyebrow. "Wow. Not even a second of hesitation?"
Theo wiped his mouth dramatically. "Some of us are just naturally gifted, darling."
Mattheo chuckled, shaking his head. "And some of us like to be generous."
Blaise grinned. "I prefer to call it being thorough in my experiences."
Astoria sighed. "Men are insufferable."
Pansy rolled her eyes. "And yet, here we are, still drinking with them."
I laughed softly, setting my glass down. "Well, damn. I feel like a saint compared to you lot."
Mattheo's gaze flicked to me, dark with curiosity. "And what's your magic number, princess?"
I hesitated for only a second before shrugging. "Zero."
The room went silent.
Theo nearly choked on his drink. "Wait—what?"
Mattheo's smirk faltered for just a second before returning, slower this time. "You're joking."
I raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like I'm joking?"
Draco let out a sigh, rubbing his temple. "Oh, Merlin."
Pansy blinked. "You're actually serious?"
I nodded, suddenly feeling self-conscious under their stares. "Is that... weird?"
For a second, no one spoke.
Then Theo grinned, nudging me. "*Not weird, just unexpected.**"
Blaise smirked. "I mean, considering the company you keep? Yeah, a little surprising."
Astoria smiled. "It's not weird. People act like everyone has to rush into things, but you don't. It's your choice."
Pansy nodded. "Honestly? I respect it."
Mattheo was still watching me, his expression unreadable. Then, he leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "*You really are full of surprises, princess.**"
I smirked, trying to shake off the nerves. "Gotta keep you guessing, right?"
His lips curled into a slow, lazy grin. "Something like that."
The conversation moved on, but I could still feel Mattheo's gaze lingering on me, like he was seeing me differently. And for some reason, that realization made my heart race.
Theo smirked, leaning forward. "Alright, my turn." He tapped his fingers against his glass in thought before his lips curled into a mischievous grin. "Never have I ever... hooked up with a professor."
Everyone groaned.
"What the hell, Theo?!" Pansy exclaimed.
"What?!" He laughed, raising his hands in defense. "I just wanted to see if any of you degenerates had done it."
Draco rolled his eyes. "You've got issues, mate."
"So that's a no from everyone?" Theo asked, looking around expectantly.
Silence.
"Thank Merlin that's a no,*" Astoria muttered, taking a sip of her drink anyway. "I need to recover from just hearing the question."
Theo snickered, then turned to Mattheo. "Your turn, Riddle."
Mattheo leaned back against the wall, lazily twirling his glass in his hand before smirking. "Never have I ever... fallen for someone I shouldn't have."
I froze for a second, my fingers tightening around my drink.
Around me, Pansy took a sip. So did Draco. And Theo. And Blaise.
Mattheo's eyes flickered to me. I hesitated for only a moment before lifting my glass and taking a slow sip.
His smirk deepened, something unreadable flickering in his dark eyes. "Interesting," he murmured.
I raised an eyebrow at him, ignoring the warmth creeping up my neck. "You made the statement, Riddle. Not me."
He let out a low chuckle. "Just making an observation, princess."
Theo rolled his eyes. "Merlin, you two have enough tension to set the bloody castle on fire."
I scoffed. "Shut up, Theo."
He just grinned. "Alright, your turn, Malfoy."
I thought for a moment, then smirked. "Never have I ever... snuck into the Forbidden Forest alone."
Theo, Blaise, and Mattheo all sipped immediately.
Pansy's eyes widened. "You morons. Why would you go in there alone?"
Mattheo shrugged. "For the thrill, obviously."
Blaise grinned. "And the occasional illegal deal."
Astoria shook her head. "You're all insufferable."
Theo nudged me. "Your brother's turn."
Draco sighed dramatically, thinking for a moment before smirking. "Never have I ever... been caught in bed with someone."
Blaise snorted and immediately drank.
Theo groaned. "Bloody hell, of course you have."
Pansy took a sip as well, as did Enzo and Astoria.
Mattheo lifted his glass lazily and took a long sip, his eyes meeting mine as he did.
I raised an eyebrow. "Care to elaborate?"
He grinned. "Not a chance, sweetheart."
I rolled my eyes. "Coward."
He chuckled, setting his glass down. "I prefer to keep some things a mystery."
Theo smirked. "Well, I think that just means it's your turn again, love."
I thought for a moment, then grinned wickedly. "Never have I ever... been kicked out of a bar."
Blaise, Mattheo, and Theo all groaned before downing their drinks.
I burst out laughing. "Oh, this I need to hear."
I smirked, leaning forward. "Alright, spill. Who's getting kicked out of bars and why?"
Blaise grinned. "Let's just say some people don't appreciate a little friendly gambling."
"Or friendly fighting," Mattheo added, smirking as he took another sip. "Some idiot ran his mouth. I handled it."
Theo laughed. "You broke his nose, mate."
Mattheo shrugged. "Deserved it."
I shook my head, laughing. "You lot are actual menaces."
Theo grinned. "Speaking of menaces..." He sat up straighter, eyes twinkling mischievously. "Never have I ever... had a threesome."
I nearly choked on my drink as both Mattheo and Theo raised their glasses and drank.
Pansy's jaw dropped. "Wait—both of you?"
Astoria covered her face. "*You're disgusting."
Draco groaned, rubbing his temples. "I did not need to know that."
I turned to Mattheo, raising an eyebrow. "Well, well, Riddle. You really like to keep things interesting, don't you?"
His lips curled into a lazy smirk. "Gotta keep you guessing, princess."
Theo smirked. "Oh, don't let him fool you—I was involved in that one too."
My eyes widened. "Together?"
Mattheo just took another slow sip of his drink, eyes locked on mine. "Why? Jealous?"
I scoffed. "Not even remotely."
Mattheo chuckled, then leaned in slightly, his voice dropping just low enough for only me to hear. "Have you really never done anything with a guy?"
My breath caught slightly. His dark eyes studied me, his usual teasing smirk replaced with something softer, something more curious.
I hesitated, gripping my glass a little tighter. "No," I admitted quietly. "I haven't."
His smirk didn't return this time. Instead, he just nodded slowly, like he was processing that information—like it meant something to him.
I raised an eyebrow. "*What? You look *shocked.**"
He let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. "*Just... wasn't expecting that.**"
I rolled my eyes. "Why? Because I don't fit the image of some innocent little girl?"
Mattheo tilted his head slightly, his gaze lingering on mine. "No," he murmured. "Because you're you."
Something about the way he said it sent a strange warmth through my chest. I quickly took a sip of my drink, looking away as Theo clapped his hands.
"Alright, enough tension between you two—who's next?"
Mattheo's eyes stayed locked on mine, searching, waiting for something. The curiosity in his gaze made my chest tighten, and I knew he wasn't going to let this go easily.
I leaned in just slightly, just enough so only he could hear me. "I'll explain later," I whispered.
His smirk twitched back into place, but his eyes remained dark, unreadable. "I'll hold you to that, princess," he murmured back, his voice smooth and low.
I pulled away, picking up my drink again, pretending like my heart wasn't hammering against my ribs.
Theo, completely oblivious to the tension still crackling between us, smirked. "Right then, who's up next?"
Pansy groaned. "I swear, if you ask another one of your perverted questions, I'm hexing you."
Theo gasped dramatically. "Me? Perverted? I would never."
Draco rolled his eyes. "That's a bloody lie."*