¡îFaith¡î (A Series Of Poems)

A subject I once adored

Believed, like all things, that I was passionate enough to care for it

Wanting to participate

Willing to make sacrifices to learn more

I thought you would be a great teacher

Someone I thought I might trust

Maybe write a letter of recommendation

Ask enough questions to rise up

At least that's how I felt

Until the school year started

I believed things would be good

But right away it seemed you already had favorites

You can say it's all my fault

Already dealing with depression

The gradual withdraw from things that once brought me joy

The distraction of having to learn from home

Where so many already struggle

Where others have found their voice

Yet the way you tried to teach the class

made me the utmost bored

I didn't learn anything

Only that you wanted to see our faces

Spent minutes lecturing us on the usefulness of interaction

Yet refused to give us any personal space

And I don't remember anything you've ever said

Maybe in-person class would've been different 

But in the reality that we're currently living in

I can't stand to enter that zoom meeting

So obvious you only care for few

So obvious that other kids are struggling too

It could've been so obvious that I loved the subject

But just being in that space made me lose that love too

What's the point of constantly nagging

If all I ever do is want to leave

Spend the days scrolling through my feed

Not willing to care to read

And I'm so behind

Because you treat us like we're in college

You don't clarify shit

You just tell us that questions spur knowledge

SO how the fuck am I supposed to pass

In-class activities only tell me I suck in this class

I lost it

I did

I loved psychology and you took that away from me

I took that away from me

You turned something so fun into something so boring

The only thing I gained from the class is knowledge that I know I won't pass the AP test

So go ahead

I place the blame on myself

But Ms.

You didn't even TRY to make it easier for us kids who need help 

Written: March 10, 2021

A/N: I'm just so pissed at how much I hate this class. I literally used to read psychology articles and books and now I'm just like... another group FRQ... What about teaching me? Or going over key concepts? Maybe it's just how I personally learn, but I can't just teach myself a unit in 5 days when I have 4 other classes and a personal life. Maybe I'm just a complainer. But in my psych college course (which was also online) I learned so much more through personal anecdotes and lectures. And i loved every second of it!