[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

Absolutely everybody in the Cloud Recesses was happy to see their Masters so close. It seemed that Sandu Shengshou's injury changed their Master Lan, and while before he would not even look at his husband – now he could not bear to be away from him. 

They would hunt together, eat together, bathe together, as if their wedding had been just yesterday. They looked truly in love.

At night, the master bedroom was filled with moans of pleasure; sometimes the Masters would not even wait till night time – they would fall to bed and just lock the door, forgetting about duties and meals. Any piece of skin was covered with licks and kisses; Lan Xichen was just drunk on his husband's body.

In the beginning, Jiang Cheng was embarrassed; then he was amazed – he still could not believe there would exist a person who would like him the way he was. And then, as they got fully used to each other, then came the pleasure. They did all that could be done, except the final penetration, the actual sex. Jiang Wanyin grew to love his husband's fingers that were caressing him, and pushing into all his openings. His mouth would thirstily lick him, and his tongue would reach so deep into him that the waves of pleasure were making him lose his mind.

He, on his part, was trying to give to Zewu-Jun any piece of joy and pleasure he could. Often copying his husband's moves, he would kiss him and suck on his skin hungrily, enjoying his moans, always asking him what he could do to make him more content and happier. He was living in a golden haze, feeling too lucky, kissing his lover's hands, and worshipping at his feet. In the eyes of the others, they were just happily married, but when they were alone he craved to be Lan Huan's slave in love, he yearned to please him.

***

Weeks passed in this bliss, and Zewu-Jun's birthday approached. Today, the housekeeper stayed after breakfast so that they could discuss the preparations.

- Master, you are a married man now; we must have a bigger celebration! – she scolded.

- Hmmm. – Lan Xichen was frowning. – I only want family this year. I want a peaceful day for once.

Jiang Cheng was sitting at his feet, but now he looked up and smiled:

- Husband, please? I really wish we could have a prettier celebration this time. We missed the Mid-Autumn Festival...  the Summer Solstice, and then the Equinox too...  - he blushed, biting his lip.

- And whose fault was it, my darling? – Lan Huan laughed out loud.

Zewu-Jun was away for the first one, and they literally missed the date of the second and third one as they never left the bedroom, unable to part and be away from each other.

- Ummm... Not just mine, Zewu-Jun.  –  he pouted and leaned his head on his knee.

- True. – Lan Xichen patted the top of his head gently, too glad that his husband was now carrying his hair down, all except a small bun to collect the locks from his face. – I am not sorry, Wanyin! – he grinned. – But if you want a party... I guess I could agree. – he sighed.

- Masters. – she bowed to the one, and then to the other. – I think it's wise to actually plan both of your birthdays, as they are just a lunar month apart from each other.

- No, no. I have a special surprise for Sandu Shengshou's birthday.  –  Zewu-Jun said gently and caressed his face as he immediately looked up at him with new love and surprise.

- Ah, I see. Alright then. So, do I plan for just 100 people then?  –   she smirked.

Lan Xichen choked on his tea.

- What?!  –  he yelled. – Gods, woman, I was thinking about 20, tops.  –   he frowned.

- Hmmm. – she huffed. – Well, Master Lan, if you could make a list of which Clans to invite, and which ones to ignore  in the middle of the war, I would appreciate it.

Jiang Wanyin giggled, now relaxing more in his husband's lap, wedged between his legs, lifting his face and watching him with curiosity.

- To Hell with it! Invite all the Clans! I will spend the day in bed with my loved one anyway!  –  he scoffed, annoyed.

- Well! Perfect, Master!  –  she huffed, content in her own way.

She grinned and bowed, and left them alone. And she did not notice that Jiang Cheng had suddenly gone very pale, as his heart almost stopped. Lan Xichen had not yet confessed to him, and it was eating him up inside. His husband was very gentle with him, and paid constant attention to him, but the words were hard to speak, it seemed. He guessed it was also because they did not truly belong to each other, not yet.

- Are you alright, Wanyin?  –  he leaned in to look in his face more carefully, caressing his cheek.

- I...  -   he swallowed hard. – I am fine, Zewu-Jun. I am.

- Are you upset about the celebration? We could invite more people... Or we could---

- It's not that, Lan Huan. – he said coarsely, and hid his face in his lap.

Lan Xichen stroked his hair gently, thinking back to the conversation, wondering what might have gotten his husband sad. It was just boring stuff – he was not a huge believer in big events. His mind ran through it all again, but could find nothing.

- Tell me, Sandu Shengshou? What is it?  –  he murmured, caressing him.

- It's nothing important, husband. –  he mumbled.  –  I am getting old, that's all.

- I am older than you, and always will be – you know that, right? – Zewu-Jun laughed out loud. – But if you don't want to celebrate your birthday, or mine! – please, let me know! I would be more than happy to oblige! – he grinned.

Jiang Cheng shook his head and sniffed, and Lan Xichen realized that he was crying in his lap.

- Hey... Gods...! What is it...? Wanyin?

He pulled him up and placed him to sit in his lap, hugging him carefully. Jiang Cheng hid his face in his neck and mumbled, trying to calm down:

- I am sorry... Sometimes I get too emotional... on certain days... Uh... -   he blushed.

Lan Xichen nodded. He had already noticed that on certain days his husband would only want to cuddle and would sometimes stay in bed for the whole day, looking pale and exhausted.

- It's alright, sweetheart... What upset you this time? Mm? Tell me? Please, Wanyin, I need to know.  –  he was cooing, worried.

Lately, it was extremely rare that Jiang Wanyin cried, and he loved it that way. His husband's tears were killing his heart.

- You will be mad at me...  -   he whimpered.

- Me? Never. When was I ever mad at you, darling?  –  Lan Huan murmured.  –  Come on now. Don't be a baby, tell me. – he smiled.

He felt Jiang Cheng smile too in his hair, and he mumbled unhappily:

- You called me your "loved one"... Am I your loved one, Zewu-Jun?

He sat up in his lap, looking in his surprised face, biting his lip as he expected his husband to be angry at him. He knew well that he was pouting about something very childish, but for some reason these words were very important to him.