[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

NOTE:

Trigger Warning

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The morning was slow and gloomy. 

All three paid their respects at the memorial shrines of Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian. For some reason, Jiang Cheng couldn't stop thinking about his  Shìjiè.  He tried to focus on positive thoughts about his parents, but his soul was rebelling too much.

Those people had destroyed his life, teaching him all the wrong things. And then they got themselves killed because of pure vanity and hubris, and stupidity and malice too. His beloved mother had burnt her own bridges, dooming the Clan, engineering its downfall single-handedly. Now he had to take the blame. Now he had to unlearn all the hurt, and learn how to love. He had to learn how to let himself be loved.

He missed his Shìjiè.  She should have been here. She always knew what to do, always. He turned to look at Wei Wuxian, and to his surprise  –  he saw tears in his eyes. Only the Gods knew what memories were swimming in his head...

- Huan... Please... I don't...

Lan Xichen turned to him immediately, and snapped:

- Are you sick, my love? Should we go? Just say the word, Wanyin!

- Please... I don't feel so good...  -  he whispered.

Lan Xichen helped him stand up and led him out in the open straight away. Jiang Cheng inhaled the chilly air deeply, and it helped a little. 

He leaned in on Zewu-Jun's strong shoulder and murmured:

- I haven't... I haven't felt the baby today at all, Huan...  I hope with all my heart that she's sleeping...Oh, Huan...

- Gods!

Lan Xichen was terrified. 

He growled:

- I shouldn't have let you come here. This is all my fault. You cannot bring new life to a place of death! Forgive me, husband!

Jiang Cheng hid his face in his neck and said weakly:

- I asked you to, my love... I am just...tired.

- Should I take you back to bed? Wanyin?

Sandu Shengshou closed his eyes. He felt so heavy all of a sudden. Feeling that he was staggering and almost falling, Lan Huan immediately lifted him up and held him in his arms now.

- A-Cheng!  What... Do I seek for a doctor?! Wanyin!  Talk to me!  –  he yelled desperately.

- No... No, no. Take me to the lake... Take me to the banks...

Wei Wuxian was just getting out of the building to see, astounded, how Zewu-Jun randomly grabbed the reins of one of their horses, placing his brother on the saddle in front of himself with some freakish superhuman strength, and they rode off at a great speed, scaring the amazed crowd off.

- This one is a mad man.  –  he mumbled to himself.  –  My brother has bewitched him. This cannot be the Zewu-Jun I have known for so long!