Trying to live

Chapter 24 (Edited)

Until I stopped because I couldn't live in the past. This chapter—Henry's chapter—officially died the day I stopped going through our chat.

I didn't love him anymore, but the memories were still there.

Until I moved on and forgot about him.

Until my feelings vanished.

Henry waited impatiently, phone in hand, raising one eyebrow at me. I swallowed the unwanted bitterness and recited my number from memory. At that exact moment, the bell rang, and students started to fill the halls. I felt relieved when some lacrosse players made their way towards us. Well, Henry... I was just standing next to him.

They called him out, and I noticed the curious glances of not just the lacrosse players but the students around us. This was my moment—I could leave, escape this uncomfortable and weird get-together with Henry. I didn't have to walk with him to class.

The lacrosse players reached us, and some of them looked familiar, but I couldn't place their names. They started talking about sports. I wasn't much of a sports fan. The only sport I ever watched and understood a little was soccer. Of course, as Henry's girlfriend, I cheered him on in his games, whether it was football, basketball, or lacrosse, but I never understood the rules.

Henry always teased me about it but loved that I was cheering him on because I had been his lucky charm.

Now was the perfect time to escape. I shuffled slowly away from Henry and then took a step forward. I started to move when my arm was grabbed, freezing me in place. I looked up and saw Henry's hand on my arm.

He looked at me, and I gave him a questioning look, but he ignored me. He turned his head to the guys, who looked at us curiously. "Gotta go, see you at practice."

Henry smiled at them and then dragged me through the crowd, who threw us puzzled but also hostile glares. The latter were probably directed at me. I tried to yank my arm free or move his hand away, but he didn't budge.

Along the way, Henry's hand found my wrist and stayed there. Part of me was surprised that Henry wanted us to walk together to class and didn't care about the other students.

I knew someone would spread rumors or post pictures. I saw some of them on their phones, but he didn't care. Henry was the king of this place, while I was no one since I fell from the ladder.

Still, my heart swelled at the thought of him touching me and not letting go. I knew it was a one-time thing. I knew Henry hated me, but this moment played not only with my head but also with my heart.

I was terrified of what I was feeling right now. Emotions that shouldn't even be there or exist. I was scared of my feelings and whatever might come from them.

I was scared that all of my sacrifices and pain were worth nothing if I could melt from just a touch of my ex-boyfriend.

It all came back to the anxiety I felt, and my heart threatened to burst with all the emotions surging through me.

****

The bell rang, signaling the end of class, and I hurried down the corridor to get to my locker. I noticed some of the girls and boys staring and whispering as I walked past them. The memory of everyone staring at Henry and me when we entered the classroom together earlier still lingered. The whole room had been consumed by silence.

It wasn't like Henry was still holding my hand; he had dropped it along the way. But we stood next to each other and then awkwardly bumped into each other as we both decided to enter the classroom at the same time.