Trying to live

Summer Before Junior Year

I miss my friends. More than that, I miss Priya, my best friend. Priya and I became fast friends, possibly because of our shared Indian heritage. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. We met during a group project and discovered we had similar tastes, were both good listeners, and shared a sense of humor.

But the Indian connection did play a role. If you didn't know, my grandmother was half-Punjabi (her mother was from India) and half-British (her father was a British officer stationed in India before its independence who fell in love with her mother). Grandma spent most of her life in Great Britain but visited India frequently to reconnect with her roots. Exploring India, becoming enchanted by its culture, and bonding with her mother's relatives were important to her. My great-grandmother, Grandma's mother, passed away in her hometown, but before that, Grandma married into a prestigious American family, the Vermonts. She tries to teach my dad and me about our Punjabi heritage and shares countless stories of her time in India, which I absolutely cherish.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit on edge because no one has called me—neither Henry, Priya, nor Scott. I don't have any friends here. I've just met someone—well, she started talking to me. Maya Abrams. She looks familiar, but I can't quite place her. She has a blunt way of speaking and can be unintentionally harsh, but I'm trying to keep a low profile. I don't want to make friends since I'll be leaving soon, and this place doesn't seem like it's conducive to forming lasting relationships.

Beginning of Junior Year

I guess I don't need friends. No, I don't need them. People who ignore you for long stretches without good reason aren't friends. They never were. And Priya... well, I think she's one of them. She left me alone for Juliette. Didn't even bother to call. No 'welcome back' hug.

Maybe she was right. Maybe it's better to be alone, to never let anyone get too close, even if they think they're your best friends. Let them believe it, but never let them in, never share anything about yourself. Because the only person who'll stay by your side forever is you, as she said to me.

"After interviewing students, we heard that you were the one who started the food fight," Principal Richardson addressed Rose sternly. "Is that true?"

"Yes," Rose admitted meekly, and then, a moment later, added dramatically, "My honor."

After I accidentally threw a pie at none other than Ms. Smith, she gave everyone penalty points and summoned us to Principal Richardson's office. By "us," I mean Rose, Cam, Henry, and me. To say Principal Richardson was displeased with my repeated visits to her office would be an understatement.

"All further questions you ask me will be answered when my lawyer arrives," Rose announced, adding an unnecessary layer of drama. "For now, I won't say anything more."

I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but her statements wouldn't help her situation. Last summer, before junior year began, there was a big party. You know the kind—one thrown to celebrate the end of summer break and the approach of graduation. That was where Henry and I went our separate ways, and where Rose and I started to be on the same way. I met Rose at that party; she was the new girl, and her family was the latest addition to Lakewood's gallery of the Rich and Wealthy. Another gem dripping with affluence.

Two weeks into junior year, Rose declared herself my best friend, ignoring the rumors about me. It was as if she was immune to them, and no one seemed to try to spread rumors about her. Rose was the goddess of the school, an angel walking through the halls.

Juliette might have been the reigning queen of Lakewood Prep—pretty and popular—but Rose was gorgeous in a way that seemed otherworldly. She was born with an ethereal beauty that couldn't be described. I never called her my best friend or confirmed it outright, but I accepted her presence and never minded that she never took offense when I didn't label our friendship. Now, I was questioning why I had ever accepted her so readily.