Trying to live

Chapter 33 (Edited)

We headed to the last booth in a row, but as I ducked under a hanging plant, it smacked me in the face. I pushed it aside, only to have it swing back and hit me again.

Cam chuckled as we slid into the booth, but before I could respond, a waitress in a red uniform and white apron approached us, her messy bun bobbing as she gasped in surprise. "Cameron Avilla, is that really you?"

I glanced at Cam, who scratched his reddening neck, clearly embarrassed. "Hey, Mary. I didn't think you'd still recognize me."

Mary waved off his concern with a laugh. "Pfft, I'd recognize the boy who drank four milkshakes in a row and always begged for free cookies anywhere!"

I chuckled, picturing a younger Cam guzzling milkshakes and charming his way to free treats. Cam gave me a sheepish grin before Mary turned her attention to me, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"And who's this? Your girlfriend?" she asked with a teasing smile.

I gaped at her, then at Cam, who answered at the same time I did.

"No," I said almost hysterically, while Cam muttered, "Maybe."

I shot him my best death stare, which only made him chuckle, but at least he dropped the subject. "I'll have the burger menu and a strawberry milkshake," he ordered, still grinning.

Mary nodded and jotted down his order before turning to me. "And for you, darling?"

Her warm use of 'darling' melted some of my awkwardness away. "I'll have the same, but with chicken nuggets instead of a burger and a soda."

"Coming right up," Mary said with a smile, then bustled off to the kitchen.

I turned to Cam, who was already staring at me. "What?"

He shrugged. "You don't like burgers?"

I laughed at his serious expression. "I do, but I'm more of a chicken nugget girl."

"Noted," he said, pulling out his phone to type something, making me shake my head with a smile.

"So, you brought me all the way out here to a diner?" I asked, still curious about his choice.

Cam waited until Mary returned with our food, then leaned in slightly, his expression softer. "If you don't like it here, we can go somewhere else."

For a moment, I thought he was joking, but the more I looked at his face, the more I saw that he was genuinely concerned. I quickly shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt. "No, I like it here. And I like Mary. It's just... you know this place so well, and she knew you, so..." I trailed off, unsure of how to reassure him.

Cam gave me a small, apologetic smile and explained, "When I was younger, my parents used to bring me here every Sunday. My dad, being who he is, wanted a place where they could go without being recognized, and this diner became our little secret. Mary never knew who my dad was, and that made it even more special."

I picked up a fry and popped it into my mouth, trying to process his words. "A place full of memories, then."

"Yeah," he said softly, his smile tinged with sadness. "After my parents divorced, they stopped coming, but I never forgot this place. It made me happy, so I come here sometimes. No one knows about it except my aunt, Henry, Jake, and now you."

An odd feeling settled in my chest, a mix of unease and guilt. Why did it feel wrong that Cam was sharing this with me, trusting me with a piece of his past?

"Jake?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Cam laughed, the sound more genuine this time. "Yeah, I brought him here once when he was having a rough day. He needed to escape, so I figured this place would do the trick."

I nodded, understanding more than I wanted to admit. "Makes sense."

After that, the conversation flowed effortlessly, filled with stories of old friends, shared memories, and inside jokes. It was easy to be with Cam, to feel like an ordinary girl without the weight of my secrets pressing down on me. 

Cam's hair fell slightly over his forehead as he leaned forward, resting his chin on his palm. There was a gentle, easy smile on his lips, and I found myself wondering how different my life might have been if I'd fallen for him instead. How much simpler things would be if I could lose myself in his warm, brown-black eyes instead of the piercing green ones that haunted my thoughts.

Cam had been there for me in New Heaven, calling me, making me laugh, distracting me from the loneliness. He'd kept me sane when everything else was falling apart. And yet, when I returned, I pushed him away, ruining relationships and eventually breaking up with Henry. It was strange to think about how much had changed in just a few weeks, how quickly everything had unraveled.

"So, I heard you're having dinner with Wyatt and his family," Cam said, curiosity lacing his tone.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in the booth, crossing my arms. "You heard right."

"Are you two...?" he began, trailing off suggestively.

I narrowed my eyes, already knowing who had fed him that idea. "No, we're just friends. I can't believe Henry—"

"I like you," Cam interrupted, his voice suddenly serious.

My eyes widened, and for a moment, I was stunned into silence. A rushing sound filled my ears, like the ocean's waves crashing against a rocky shore. My heart pounded in my chest, each beat more frantic than the last.

I swallowed hard and forced out a laugh, hoping to diffuse the tension. "Of course you do. I'm your friend."

But Cam's expression didn't change. His brown eyes held mine, steady and unamused. "I like you more than a friend," he said quietly.

No. Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes. "No, you can't. It's wrong."

"Why? Because you're my cousin's ex-girlfriend?" he asked, a sharp edge to his voice.

I shook my head, feeling lost. "Yes. No. I don't know." My words tumbled out in a jumble, nothing making sense. Desperate to escape, I stood up abruptly. "We should go."

I didn't wait to see if Cam followed or paid the bill. I just pushed through the diner door and out into the parking lot.

If I'd had my own car, I would've driven away right then and there. But I didn't, so I was stuck, pacing in front of Cam's car, my thoughts swirling in a chaotic mess.

How could he say that? Did he really mean it?

I was still trying to make sense of it all when I heard the jingle of the diner's door behind me. Cam's footsteps were cautious as he approached.

"Em," he said softly, his voice careful. "Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to face him. "I don't know. You shouldn't have said that. It's not right."

Cam looked confused, running a hand through his hair. "But it's the truth."

"No, it's not," I insisted, my voice trembling. "And even if it is, how can you be so sure?"

He shook his head and let out a humorless laugh. "I think I'd know if I liked you or not. And I do, Em. I've liked you for a long time."

The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. "Don't tell me you liked me while I was with Henry?"

Cam's face drained of color, and he quickly looked away.

No, no, this couldn't be happening. Why would Cam do this?

I stared at him for a moment longer before turning to open the passenger side door. But before I could reach it, he grabbed my arm and spun me around.

I opened my mouth to protest, but the words died on my lips as he pulled me closer and kissed me. His lips were firm against mine, and for a brief, dizzying moment, I didn't know what to think—except that everything had just changed.