THE SAME

"What are you doing here? You can't just show up at my job like this. You-"

"Nayla get in the car... right now. I am not in a good mood."

....I got in the car.

I sure did. I sure did. Yup.

There have not been a lot of times when Somchai is in a bad mood but when he is... chile I would not play with him. He is sexy as fuck when he is annoyed but, I don't think we're about to get freaky right now. Not when I have been declining his calls and messages for two weeks.

Been a bad girl and I'm trynna get spanked.

I can't believe how handsome he is driving. He'd usually put one hand on my thigh whilst driving but I can tell he was pissed because... he hasn't even tried touching me. I can see the veins on his hands popping and his hand clenching the steering wheel.

"So you don't want to see me for weeks but now you can't stop staring?"

How am I meant to respond?

I feel so small... and wet.

His jaw is also clenched and he hasn't even tried looking at me... not even at the red lights. He always looks at me when we're at the red lights to check if I am okay or to tell me that I am so pretty.

"Do you want to eat?"

Okay... he still cares. He gets really worried about me and eating because I told him about my complicated relationship with food.

"I'm not hungry."

"When we get home, I want you to choose something to eat."

He won't look at me and it's driving me crazy.

...

It is so awkward and quiet.

We've just sat miles apart on the sofa and usually, I'm always on his lap or something. Like we're not meant to be apart and it is killing me. I am craving him so badly, especially when he is so close to me. I can't stand it.

I want to cry.

"I am giving you one chance to tell me what is going on."

"I-I... Chai, I-"

"Before you say anything," he started, "I already heard the truth so, if you lie to me, it is over."

You got me now, ohhh you figured me out! You got me red-handed! You got me red-handed!

"Chai... I'm sorry, I-I got scared, I'm sorry," I started in a small voice, "your mom- she sounded like she could have done anything." At this point I started crying and begging him, I know I sounded an uncontrollable mess. I felt like I couldn't breathe and my heart was moving a mile a minute like I could barely think about what I was saying.

It's like your mouth does not plan your words. God your mouth just moving like machine.Ehh, cruh cruh cruh.

"I- she offered the cheque but I never planned on using it like you can have it, you can give it back to her, I don't want it. I told her, I told her that I love you but-but... what am I supposed to do when she's telling me she's gonna harm me? Harm my friends and harm the people I love, my mum? She made me feel so small and powerless... I didn- didn't know what to do. I- so scared and missing you but you don't understand... she looked at me like she would make it so easy... so easy for an insignificant black girl like me to disappear."

"Why didn't you ask me for help Nayla?! Fuck, you didn't even tell me, I had to hear from Samirah! Yo-"

"She told me to stay away! What was I supposed to do!? She told me if I tried standing up to her, she would have no problem putting me in my place! I'm not rich like you, I don't have resources like you, I have to stand down when someone from your word is telling me to!"

"So then when she tells you to give up on us, you do?! And you'll settle for a cheque? How much was this worth for you then Nayla?"

We were stood up and face to face at this point... screaming and just arguing but... does he really think I'd spend that money?

All you could hear was my crying and silence.

"Baby, come here."

I sure did. I sure did. Yup.

I just cried harder when he kissed the top of my head. I couldn't hug him any tighter even if I wanted to. His heartbeat was slowing down to his usual calm tone. I know he was still kind of angry but he let out a few long breaths and rubbed my back and focused on calming me down with soothing words.

"I'm so mad right now," he started after I calmed down a bit and was just sniffling, "I'm mad at her but I'm more mad that... you didn't think I would have handled it if you came to tell me."

"Som-"

"I'm crazy about you. I love you Nayla. I love you so I'll do anything for you, no one will ever touch a hair on your head or anyone around you," he whispered in between kisses, "no one wants to see me lose my mind like that."

"B-but Chai... she was right, I am not on your level, I certainly don't have houses in Monaco or own-"

"Fuck that shit Nayla! Why are you mentioning dumb shit like that?! Do you love me? Do you want to be with me?"

"I love you," I sniffled, feeling the waterworks start again as I clenched his sweater and looked into his deep, brown eyes, "I love you more than anything Somchai. I love you. I don't want us to be apart, I want to be with you forever."

"So trust me. I am telling you to trust me and know that I'll handle everything from now, till the end of our lives. If you need help, tell me. If you want something, tell me. If you're scared, come to me first. I will protect you till the end Nayla. I will give you everything you want and more. I will make sure everything is handled, so trust me."

Have you ever as a woman felt safe? Have you ever felt protected? Cared for?

I hope every woman in the world can experience this feeling. I hope every woman in the world finds someone who calms their very being like Somchai does for me. I never thought I could find a man that would relax me like this.

"Okay Somchai," I said after a shaky breath not breaking eye contact, "I trust you."

"Okay baby," he said with a smile pulling me up so I would wrap my legs around him, "oh and... about the money thing... I am not going to be apologetic or patient when it comes to spoiling you and treating you how I always wanted to. We are going to be going on trips from now on to expensive places and I am going to be buying you expensive things like Cartiers and Van Cleefs for fun."

"Som-"

"I want us to move in together too," he said after cutting me off with a kiss, "so I think you should start thinking about what kind of house you want to live in and sending me links to properties so we can go for viewings."

"Somchai!"

"And baby just remember, if you fall in love with a penthouse and they tell you it's lease only online, we have the kind of money that changes minds... or that buys the whole building-"

"Chai... wait slow down-"

"Baby, no, you catch up. I am going to show you how fun being a Kim is."