Little Forman//That '70s Show? Steven Hyde?

O Canada, O Canada

"Well, we need to talk to him." I said. He nodded and called Jackie downstairs. Kelso following after. "Oh, hey guys." Kelso said. "Michael, why are they here?" Jackie asked as her dad walked away.

"We're going to Canada and we need Kelso." I told her. "Ewe, why Canada?" She questioned. "Beer man." Hyde said. "I'm in!" Kelso said. Jackie rolled her eyes and went back up stairs. "What was that about?" I asked Kelso as he walked out of the door.

"She's pissed because I don't want to spend time with her when it's stuff she wants to do." He said. We got into the car. "We need Leo man." Steven said. "Why?" Eric asked. "He's been to Canada man." Steven said as he drove to the Photo Hut.

"What's up man?" Leo said as we entered the building. "We're going to Canada man." Hyde told him. "Canada, cool. I spent some time up there during 'Nam." He told the rest of us. "Oh, conscientious objector huh?" Eric asked him.

Leo shook his head. "No, I didn't mind. Hey, road trip sounds good, man. But I don't want nothin' to do with that beer. That stuff will mess with your mind, man." He told us. We all looked at each other then back to Leo.

"Okay, let's get going." Eric said, breaking the silence as we all went to the car. "Oh don't tell me crap shoes is coming." Leo said as Kelso sat next to him. I remember that day vividly. There was a bag of dog crap and it was on fire, so Kelso stepped on it. It's one of my many favorite idiotic things that Kelso's done, and he's done a lot of stupid stuff man.

"THE BAG WAS ON FIRE!" He defended.

****

Canada
June 19th, 1976
2:00 p.m.
Location: somewhere on the side of the road

"Wow. What a view." Said Eric astonished. "Just like a post card." Steven added. "It's so beautiful I could cry." Said Fez. "It's so gorgeous, I am crying." I said as I wiped a make believe tear away.

Fez, Steven, Eric and I were standing behind the car. In the back was eight cases of none other than Canadian beer. "Oh sure, drinking looks like fun, and all the "cool kids" do it...but it leads you down a sad, lonely, confused path, man." Leo said from where he was leaning against the car.

"You know why they call it beer?" He asked us. "No, why?" My brother asked. "Just wondering, man." Leo said, not even knowing why they call beer beer. I shrugged. "Maybe they call it beer because it makes people forget their fears man." I said.

"Whoa man, that's wise words Janie, man." Leo said. Kelso then came out of the woods. "Guys, guess how many countries I've whizzed in. Two." He said smiling. Ewe. "Alright let's get going." Steven said. "We're almost to the boarder so everyone's got their I.D.s, right?" Steven asked us. "Yup." Said Kelso and Eric.

"Mmhm." Said Leo. "Yeah." I said. I looked over to Fez who was searching his pockets frantically. "Oh, no." He said. "You didn't?" I asked him. "I think I lost my Green Card." He told us. "Crap." I said. "Damn, Fez, where's the last place you had it?" Eric asked him.

"Well if I knew that, I would have it now, you son of a bitch!" He told Eric. "Guys let's just think, okay?" I told them. "Janie's right man, Fez, take it easy." Kelso said. "No, you take it easy. They're gonna throw me in Canadian jail!" He said freaking out.

"Fez, just please calm down." I asked him. He shook his head. "Have you seen Midnight Express?" He said worrying. This was supposed to be a fun trip. "Great, now where screwed." Steven said.

We then put Fez in the back of the Vista Cruiser and covered him in a blanket. We then put the beer back in the car and hid Fez. "This better freaking work man." I said. "What if I can't breathe?" Fez asked us.