Home Is When I'm With You - Cynonari

[It's been a month😭(I'm sorry)]

Tighnari pov

I woke up refreshed, finally rid of yesterday's pains, aches and deliriums. My head was clear and yesterday's brewing storm clouds had dissipated. Though I still didn't remember much of the celebration. Soft light seeped in from opaque blinds on the wall behind my bed. I got out of bed and rolled them up, I looked upon my room ready to clean the mess I had let it become over the past couple of days.

It wasn't that messy, I'd never let it get that bad. Just a couple of dirty clothes draped over the chair, a few books not in their respective places on my shelves and a couple of dirty glasses scattered about. Nothing a bit of organising and washing wouldn't fix. So I got to work. I put my books back on their shelves, put the empty glasses into my sink and collected my dirty clothes to be washed. I washed the glasses and the clothes and then hung them to dry.

But only then did I notice other small messes around, slight and almost unnoticeable. I swept my room, I cleaned any messes from off my table and then I washed down the counter in my bathroom. And then I folded other clothes that were already dry. Then I cleaned my nightstands. Then I made my bed. Then I re-organised the books on my shelf in order of subject. Then I pushed my chair into the table. Then I pulled open drawers and re-organised each of them.

Careful where I stepped, I sat down lightly on the end of my bed. Trying to calm my breath as I felt myself frantically searching for something else to do. Trying all that I could to keep those brewing storm clouds at bay. Until my eyes finally landed on it.

The trash can. I need to take out my trash! I rushed over to it ready to pull the bag out and tie it up. But I stopped myself. It wasn't too early in the morning, there would be other people outside in the courtyard. So I should clean myself up!

I rushed into the shower with a set of clean clothes I'd carefully picked out. I showered and put on my clothes, and took a brush through my hair, slowly and carefully. Once I was done I took the trash bag and carefully tied it up and made my way out my room. I closed my door behind me, trash bag still in hand, I took a long slow and steadying breath, knowing that after this was finished, I wouldn't be able to find anything else to distract myself.

I sighed. The whole archons-know-how-long I was cleaning, I pushed it out of my mind. Avoided every thought because I knew If I thought about it for too long, I would feel like a silly, clingy and needy child.

I walked down the corridor and descended the stairs as my nerves caught up with me. I hadn't seen Cyno since lunch yesterday. He did not come back to sleep in my room like I'd expected him to, like he'd been doing for months and I'd already reiterated that I needed to talk to him.

So as I dragged the trash bag down the stairs and to the trash chute on the first floor I resolved to stop stalling and check if he was in his room. Sending my trash bag down the chute, I turned towards the clear glass doors of the dormitory and made my way to the next building over. We'd discuss what was upsetting him during the celebration, and what might have been upsetting him yesterday. I'd ask him what he's been so busy with. I'd talk to him like I always have. I was his boyfriend after all.

Finally standing in front of his door, I held my hand out and knocked three times. I waited patiently, a little too close to the door. A couple of seconds passed and not a sound came from inside. I knocked again, five times. Nothing stirred behind the door, not a creaking chair, bed or door, not a shifting blanket or pillow, not drip or splatter of water and not those oh-so-familiar light footsteps.

He's not here.

Disappointed and even more worried than previously, I lowered my hand and walked back down the hall.