Until the End || Levi x Reader Insert Fanfiction

[Three Months Later]

It had been three months. Three months since Levi felt the whisper of your touch, heard the fleeting sound of your voice, and saw your angelic smile as you gazed up at him. He was doing no better than that retched day when he found out that you had been stolen from him, by the enemy he swore to kill; to destroy. He could feel himself slowly losing his mind. He rarely left your shared chambers. He rarely ate anything. He rarely slept at all, and even when he did, he was plagued by nightmares of your screaming, your voice taunting him. He still remembers those dreams, haunted by them even in his wake as you call out to him desperately or berate him for his lack of strength in saving you. The worst ones are where you say nothing at all, silent with your blank eyes looking at him devoid of love or life.

Hange is worried, to say the least. It had been two months since they caught him trying to flee the walls to look for you himself. They had berated him as he crumbled under your absence. How they needed to be more prepared, how the enemy spanned wider than he could possibly imagine. How he would die if he left alone. But Levi didn't care anymore. He didn't know where you were, if you were hurt, if you were being tortured... he didn't even know if you were alive. He was utterly exhausted, utterly heartbroken and he didn't know what to say or do. The usual cleanliness he held himself to starts to deteriorate around him. Now clothes and belongings lay scattered on the floor, broken glass haphazardly swept to the side, the trace of his rage several nights ago. Levi was glad that most of the duties left for the people inside the wall were to rebuild the town of Shiganshina after all the Titans within Wall Maria were eventually killed.

It meant he was finally free to wallow in the absence of prying eyes. Hange was shocked when they walked in one night to see him, back against the wall, drinking alcohol from the bottle. So devoid of the man they knew refusing the drink they claimed was foul. What they once hoped would be better tamed by time was turning into the opposite. No matter how many weeks passed Hange couldn't remember a single day the dark aura didn't cloud Levi's presence, an embodiment of depression and loss. His usually pale completion seemed somehow paler and his cheeks slightly more sucken in. Hange couldn't remember the number of times they had to drag him out of his room or force him to eat and shower and look after himself.

The man who had usually seemed so composed as he eyed death in the face. The man that had faced so much loss in his life, but somehow remained strong and rebounded for the next battle was lost in his misery. It was worse than Hange could've imagined. Hange and the rest of the Scouts suffered as well. Despite the many losses of the Scouts and Commander Erwin, somehow your absence hit harder. What sadness that was usually cured by your kind words, what comfort that would be provided by your warm embrace was now lost to them. And now Hange feels as though they had lost all of the people they used to call a friend. They missed your encouraging words, Erwin's certainty, Mobilt and their squad's presence and would do anything for even a snarky response from Levi. Now, the Scout Regiment's headquarters was barren, cold and silent.

Levi was at a total loss as he lost himself in the lack of light you usually brought him. Sat slouching on his desk his pen moved across the page robotically filling the lines of paperwork he somehow was still left with. But nothing was enjoyable about it now. He couldn't hear your sweet muttering about your day or feel as you quietly undid the sore muscles in his shoulders. He was still waiting for you to open the door like you usually do, smiling softly with a pot of tea and two mugs in your hand. Levi felt a teardrop fall from his face and onto the current page he was working on, slightly smearing the ink, but he could only grit his teeth. He rubbed at his face harshly trying to continue without breaking down or losing himself in his rage, things he admits to have done several times these past few months. He wanted to kill Zeke. He wanted to find you.